tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65297402126437664282024-03-13T17:50:36.671-07:00:Jules StonesJules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.comBlogger432125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-80507126722001781472014-01-23T23:36:00.001-08:002014-01-23T23:36:38.120-08:00Shovel In Hand.....It has been way too long since I have checked in. Where have I been? That is a good question.<br />
I have been right here. The days have flown by and it is just hard to account for it all.<br />
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The quick summary?......our holidays were really nice and quiet. We spent our time with family in town and were so grateful for the time spent. It was different not having Nana here. But we hugged each other and created new memories as we reminisced on old ones.<br />
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We did not go to the beach for the New Year celebrating as we normally do. While I missed the getaway and being with our friends, I am glad we stayed close to home this year because the day after Christmas my mom had a 4th heart attack. This was a pretty big one. But the amazing miracle thing that happened is that when the cardiologist looked in her heart via angiogram, he found that God was already causing her body to grow new blood vessels around the blockage as a natural bypass. That simply blows my mind! <br />
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Hubby is busy having fun with work and training with races. He and our youngest son-in-law (The Poet) have been signing up together for area paces and have been getting a kick out of the shared interest.<br />
Puddin' is shoulder deep in her college term with 19 credits and a part in the musical. Pao is away visiting her fiance' abroad.<br />
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That all leaves me with lots of thinking time.......<br />
Thinking time for myself can be a dangerous thing. :-) <br />
Actually I am finding that there are things within me that I have ignored for a long time. God has been so gracious and patently loving with me. I could keep going just as I am and He would love me no less. But I have a choice to make about the skin I live in. If I want to be all that He has given me the ability to be........then I have to dig in and shovel out even when it is hard and uncomfortable. He has nothing but good plans for me that are filled with His love. All I have to do is get out of the way.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-81221331513589380572013-10-24T19:52:00.000-07:002013-10-24T19:52:37.172-07:00The Fun of 24 Years<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nmX_4nNVDdA/UmcraP57b9I/AAAAAAAALEw/4jZY9QuNHlw/s1600/DSCN9089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nmX_4nNVDdA/UmcraP57b9I/AAAAAAAALEw/4jZY9QuNHlw/s400/DSCN9089.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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My husband and I are away this week celebrating our 24th anniversary. We are having so much fun and totally loving the time of relaxing and reconnecting. <br />
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Each year we try to hit up some place new to explore. This year finds us in the upper wine country of California. A little bit more dry than we had anticipated and care for. But as long as we are together does it really matter?<br />
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We have spent time hiking, store front walking, movie time and lots of do nothing time. It has been really really really nice. Can you tell I am happy?<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A9P0kWwM0Lc/UmX1G6URhPI/AAAAAAAALBc/vIYSUB2pdlU/s1600/DSCN9060.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A9P0kWwM0Lc/UmX1G6URhPI/AAAAAAAALBc/vIYSUB2pdlU/s400/DSCN9060.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
The other night we heard about a nice restaurant in the next town over that had a great selection of healthy food choices, a wonderful atmosphere AND live jazz entertainment. Wahoo! We were all over it. We sat out in the cool evening under the autumn trees and enjoyed our dinner while listening to a jazz band that ended up being from our home town. That was a fun coincidence. Even more fun was finding our that our table neighbors were also our resort neighbors and we had a lot in common.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8hQWsKUvHIo/UmcuP3KCf2I/AAAAAAAALGg/c6-HElLWh88/s1600/DSCN9104.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8hQWsKUvHIo/UmcuP3KCf2I/AAAAAAAALGg/c6-HElLWh88/s400/DSCN9104.JPG" width="400" /></a>Yesterday we went out to the dock to catch the sunset and found an interesting sight. We happened upon a young boy walking his two baby goats. It was quite a scene watching him attempt to control and command those babies when they had strong wills of independent thought. All THEY wanted to do was examine and make friends with us. Actually it was quite a good experience for me. I have to confess that for some unknown reason I have always been timid and sort of afraid of goats. But these little guys wanted to play and be petted just like my fuzzy dog boys back home.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xw9GerGH-Hk/Umct-2V2POI/AAAAAAAALGY/09ieebD-Xdo/s1600/DSCN9103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xw9GerGH-Hk/Umct-2V2POI/AAAAAAAALGY/09ieebD-Xdo/s400/DSCN9103.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Isn't he cute?!</td></tr>
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This is really random but we watched a movie the other night that has been on my mind. You may (or may not) be surprised to know that I am a sci-fi movie fan. I like romance and comedy and enjoy all types of action. But given the choice, I think I will pick a sci-fi over all of them every time. Along with that preference, I take great delight in finding my own personal deeper meaning in whatever I watch. To me, everything is a learning experience.<br />
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Anyway, the movie we watched was a new one that is out now with Will Smith and his son Jaden Smith called <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1815862/?ref_=nv_sr_1" target="_blank">After Earth</a>. It is definitely sci-fi. My own quick tag for the movie is that father and son crash land their space ship on the (no longer inhabited) earth and the son is their only chance for survival. To be the hero, he must overcome multiple life and death struggles as he races against the clock to activate a distress beacon.<br />
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The thing about this movie is that the son is riddled with self doubt and performance issues. His dad seems to be the perfect tough guy and he wants nothing more than to measure up to the self inflicted approval of his father. Mental pressure at it's depth and I have certainly put those shoes on a time or two in my life.<br />
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I don't want to spoil the movie for you if you are planning to see it. So spoiler alert ahead if you want to skim over or stop reading.<br />
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Something that I really keyed into with this movie was the concept of fear. There is an animal in the movie that hunts humans for the sole purpose of killing them. It cannot see or hear. It hunts by the smell of fear.<br />
It caused me to think how the enemy of God thrives on our fear. He uses it to ruin and sabotage us....to destroy us.<br />
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Another thing that I really keyed in to was a speech that the father gave to the son. This is totally my phrasing because it was a long speech.....He said, "We all have life struggles. We all have times when we are in danger. We all have horrible things around us. Those are the real things. Danger is a real thing. But fear is a choice. Fear is not real because it only exists in our minds." <br />
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Using that speech as a catalyst, every time the son would begin to spin out of emotional control, the father would say, "Take a knee soldier." This was a time to stop, close his eyes and take in the moment. Assess the situation around him and evaluate the truth.<br />
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That very much reminded me that as God's daughter and His soldier, when things around me swirl out of control and fear creeps in, I need to get to my knees and assess my truth. What is that truth? God is real. God is in control. The hunter has no power of me and cannot harm me because the fear is only a lie....a fabrication in my mind.<br />
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Goodness that just excites me so much!<br />
So in the end of the movie when the hunter is breathing and dripping drool over the son and the son is in that pivotal moment of truth, does he let go of fear? <br />
Well, I won't tell you the ending. You can see it for yourself. :-)<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ui6ygew2FPw/Umcw1rb_fEI/AAAAAAAALII/GwzWmtbdMdE/s1600/DSCN9118.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ui6ygew2FPw/Umcw1rb_fEI/AAAAAAAALII/GwzWmtbdMdE/s400/DSCN9118.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yesterday's sunset.</td></tr>
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God bless you this week in all you do. Know without a doubt that you are loved with a pure and amazing love by the most incredible creator of forever.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-64177461866758698922013-10-13T13:17:00.000-07:002014-01-23T23:15:33.572-08:00The Radio....The other day I was feeling the stress of being late. My precious college girl tends to always be a little off in her timing to get ready for class. I was buzzing down the road, not breaking any driving laws but not being relaxed either as I calculated her being approximately 7 minutes late to class. Then I heard the voice of a caller talking with my morning radio host in my car stereo.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigycGXt8nZI8fsdU508OM5zT2qZKGNYs2Xme41OyD4wOpTAipURjBL_Q8Uf6tr4hQPmApB9euuflUIiLP_OUvmaJOdCvKr9800zBL_ykYHf6n4gOyzHab2LASGmVl2Jk38Y5Rml8tMypD-/s1600/ptg02017901.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigycGXt8nZI8fsdU508OM5zT2qZKGNYs2Xme41OyD4wOpTAipURjBL_Q8Uf6tr4hQPmApB9euuflUIiLP_OUvmaJOdCvKr9800zBL_ykYHf6n4gOyzHab2LASGmVl2Jk38Y5Rml8tMypD-/s320/ptg02017901.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a>"A favorite saying of mine that I use all the time is, 'Any lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on my behalf.'"<br />
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I had to laugh at how God chose to calm me down and focus my responsibilities.<br />
Interestingly, my girl didn't totally understand what was so funny.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-59836620687623358212013-10-06T22:18:00.000-07:002013-10-06T22:18:43.488-07:00Changes in the Blender of my Mind<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdupTCkH5tGflWOr97fgFnLJaEZdAw6L2Oo9MM01maSgIZONl4dKnkFcosINRnCxvrUu21ORFfoOrla_zXGG0NYZVLGRZnD55P6L6tcPTv0NDx8gJtnQv1ZU9gSwWxxkoYWBAo2ODzvpi0/s1600/6594495-purse-with-russian-coins-on-a-white-background.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdupTCkH5tGflWOr97fgFnLJaEZdAw6L2Oo9MM01maSgIZONl4dKnkFcosINRnCxvrUu21ORFfoOrla_zXGG0NYZVLGRZnD55P6L6tcPTv0NDx8gJtnQv1ZU9gSwWxxkoYWBAo2ODzvpi0/s320/6594495-purse-with-russian-coins-on-a-white-background.jpg" width="320" /></a>About a week ago I was getting ready for the day when a dream I had the night before flashed through my mind in real time. In my dream I was in my dinning room cleaning out my purse. I opened my coin purse and change poured out like it was overflowing. Then I opened my wallet and more change fell out. Every compartment of my purse that I looked in showed shiny coins waiting for me to grab. Then I picked up my water glass on the table and there was change under it as well as under my book and my plate.<br />
I laughed in my dream and said, <i>"Boy change is everywhere and it just keeps coming and coming."</i><br />
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That is all I remember of my dream but it has got me to thinking. What am I thinking about?<br />
That is a good question indeed. Aside from knowing it was a dream from God and knowing it holds wisdom as well as humor......I feel a bit too tired right now to figure it all out.<br />
But still, I am thinking.<br />
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Today at church, more things happened that grabbed me and made the wheels in my brain pause and move at the same time. (How does that even make sense?)<br />
It wasn't even part of the sermon today when our pastor made reference to <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%2010:46-52&version=NKJV" target="_blank">Mark 10</a> when Jesus heals Bartimaeus from his blindness. Bartimaeus had called out to Him when Jesus posed the question, "What do you want me to do for you?" Pastor posed the thought....If Jesus were standing next to you (like He really is) and asked you that question, what kind of answer would you have?<br />
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When I put myself in those shoes the first thoughts that ran through my mind startled me ......<br />
<i>That is too scary a question. I could never have an answer for that.</i><br />
<i>I wouldn't dare be so bold as to ask for favor like that.</i><br />
<i>I don't deserve to have favor like that.</i><br />
<i>What if I squandered my favor away and disappointed Him?</i><br />
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I had to squash away those thoughts because I know they don't belong to Him.<br />
The truth is that no thought is too scary to take to God.<br />
The truth is that I am His daughter and I have His utmost favor and delight.<br />
The truth is that just like my children deserve all my imperfect fail-able love, the loving favor God gives me is even more than that.<br />
The truth is that I make mistakes every day but God would never turn off His love for me......or anyone else for that matter.<br />
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So what would I ask? What could I ask? What will I ask....because I can?<br />
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I am not done sharing yet.<br />
Everything today seemed to have God's fingerprint on it and aimed right for the middle of my forehead.<br />
It was also said today,<br />
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<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>"If you are seeking answers, you will never find them.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b> Instead, cling to God and the answers will find you."</b></span></div>
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Interesting for a statement like that to stick out to me while I was still pondering what I would ask of Jesus. It was one of those moments that makes me sigh, gasp and hmmmm all at the same time. So I wanted to share it here with you.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvHduohyGQhqOwmcN5RnY7S0tJtoAcxX7WgkC6EtG1gG6id4zQuvw_bE8PQRChe7HQ50k67J688f2RmRpfEMKUHrcO2vk8bZsqmZRhcCVcKlYVuuJ4IlDRmwRNufAkoKjw3yEUD2pu03EU/s1600/11755439-open-door.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvHduohyGQhqOwmcN5RnY7S0tJtoAcxX7WgkC6EtG1gG6id4zQuvw_bE8PQRChe7HQ50k67J688f2RmRpfEMKUHrcO2vk8bZsqmZRhcCVcKlYVuuJ4IlDRmwRNufAkoKjw3yEUD2pu03EU/s320/11755439-open-door.jpg" width="314" /></a>THEN at the end of service, I was talking with a friend who was offering me some encouraging prayer for my emotionally tired self. She made reference in her prayer to the relationship that God and I have and that it is an open door going both ways. It was a kind and wonderful loving prayer. But that door reference made me realize that there are some things happening currently in my life that I purposefully have not taken to God. I know that they are things that He can handle, will handle and is currently handling them. But still I have not given them to Him due to my own fears of having to face the issues. I have been more like an image of sticking my fingers in my ears and shaking my head side to side as I chant, "this isn't happening" over and over in denial. <br />
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As soon as I realized what I have been doing, I then got flooded with the guilt of thinking that if I would have taken these issues to God sooner then they would not still be a mess. Well THAT is a deceptive lie. Here is what I know to be true....<br />
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<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Guilt comes from satan. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Conviction comes from God.</b></span></div>
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So I had to sift through all of that. Lots of crying and aligning my thoughts. It has been a long and tiring day.<br />
After spending the afternoon and evening with my family, enjoying dinner and helping my mom sort through some of Nana's belongings.....I am sitting here trying to simply absorb the day, own the day, embrace the day.<br />
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<i>God I thank You for Your guidance and never ending love. Thank You for Your gentle and ever present touch. Thank You for Your bouquet of red roses just because You celebrate our love. Thank You that You love me and never look back in regret, denial or disappointment. Thank You that You are the author of hope and joy.</i><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-74370741385243389902013-10-01T14:17:00.001-07:002013-10-01T20:30:19.531-07:00Nana's MemorialI found myself startled yesterday. I was looking through my calendar in an attempt to organize my brain when my eyes landed on <i><span style="color: #073763;">"September 5th - spend time with Nana"</span></i>. It caught me off guard and I was amazed at how things changed so quickly. Was it really less than a month ago? I remember that day. She was tired and not very talkative. But she could walk with help and much coaxing. She smiled with me as we stole minutes of short stories and loving smiles. We spent the evening with each other enjoying the company as she rested so that my parents could have a rare dinner out.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR_8zAnTDYt0iit7JQh3Fc-7Mtg2JFNPnUB4VWKi8xHVfqN08bFdG1hVtbQoMJYOCj-_17b5WniK7tSUIVFAivXPyH8D0NTk-3Ri3MHFbWHTAh_9tFxdRDPYXv7K39-5fI2zOCsl3z3U1K/s1600/hf13-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR_8zAnTDYt0iit7JQh3Fc-7Mtg2JFNPnUB4VWKi8xHVfqN08bFdG1hVtbQoMJYOCj-_17b5WniK7tSUIVFAivXPyH8D0NTk-3Ri3MHFbWHTAh_9tFxdRDPYXv7K39-5fI2zOCsl3z3U1K/s320/hf13-4.jpg" width="320" /></a>Nana's memorial was just a few days ago, September 26th, and time has gone by so quickly. It was a beautiful day of honoring her. Though we have had much rain in the days prior as well as the days following, that day was warm and sunny.<br />
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I had been the point person for all of the arrangements, so the two weeks between her passing on and the funeral found me with daily tasks to keep me calm and organized. The day of, when there was nothing left for me to do......that was hard.<br />
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We started the day at the cemetery. While we know that her spirit is in heaven, it was still a somber time. I am grateful our time there was short. After 30 minutes we headed to the church for our celebration of life service. I just have to say here how grateful I am to be part of a church body that is all about loving people and not about rules. Though my Nana and my parents have not attended our church, our pastor loved and accepted my whole family as his very own, because there is no other way to be. And though we do not have our own building, our neighboring church body gladly and graciously gave the use of their building as though nothing would please them more.<br />
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Our daughter Puddin', sang Nana's favorite version of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3jdbzMkfKw" target="_blank">Twinkle Twinkle</a> by Iz as she played her ukelele.<br />
Nana's youngest brother was able to fly in and he gave a beautiful eulogy that made everyone smile.<br />
Pastor shared a wonderful message of life and eternal certainty. Then we sang <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LW0WA8OSXZg" target="_blank">In The Garden</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKWrcvMr0Uw" target="_blank">Kanaka Wai Wai</a>. I personally thought it was adorable that my large family sang with more zeal to the Hawaiian song than the old time hymn. Open sharing was a precious time as people reflected on their treasured memories.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZNBnraIiPDuDBiACL2RheLWQJJKNuWGoMlN5jqbgEVvJT45KSVnqvUifcBIHcWGDNN8OjvIAeSrYSlz6sqeMtHiqDPCRa4nj6Ws96XwaXPIrFr5ec2Xmj1CM5gBtBgbDNTWinP9fi4DBI/s1600/IMG951096+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZNBnraIiPDuDBiACL2RheLWQJJKNuWGoMlN5jqbgEVvJT45KSVnqvUifcBIHcWGDNN8OjvIAeSrYSlz6sqeMtHiqDPCRa4nj6Ws96XwaXPIrFr5ec2Xmj1CM5gBtBgbDNTWinP9fi4DBI/s400/IMG951096+(1).jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
Then we went outside for something special. We sang the first verse and the chorus of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si-EQS0RMzM" target="_blank">Ku-uipo</a> and the first verse of You Are My Sunshine and then released blue balloons in the sky. I had never participated in a balloon releasing before. I found it to be a healing thing as I watched my balloon disappear into the clouds.<br />
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Meanwhile as we were doing all of this, my treasured friends put together a beautiful luncheon as a means of blessing my whole family. After a long and emotional day, it just always seems so perfect to embrace memories and each other over a plate of comfort food. And as a special surprise, I made a huge batch of <a href="http://julesstones.blogspot.com/2012/02/malasadas.html" target="_blank">malasadas</a> as a means of sealing the day together. Malasadas (Portuguese doughnuts) is one of the many yummy things Nana made in the kitchen in her younger days to bless us all. Everyone was thrilled over them and it made me feel even more that Nana was right there with us, in our memories and in our hearts.<br />
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<i>Thank You God for the treasure of Nana.</i><br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-67295728005311298182013-09-21T12:16:00.000-07:002013-09-24T22:28:34.970-07:00Honoring My Nana and the Goodness of God<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVnonHJ2ctxyzmTWitpNeqpJyTMocBphrRbJ7CVqMotw3IO9uwpBMPGpZ77qq9n702E2ASph23Am3AOKyHi1K_6B0kEz9Q08HRc70JDicz_9kjtTq9mYEvdAdDJ6kVxgkEc1dtqQBJRyYJ/s1600/IMG_0450+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVnonHJ2ctxyzmTWitpNeqpJyTMocBphrRbJ7CVqMotw3IO9uwpBMPGpZ77qq9n702E2ASph23Am3AOKyHi1K_6B0kEz9Q08HRc70JDicz_9kjtTq9mYEvdAdDJ6kVxgkEc1dtqQBJRyYJ/s400/IMG_0450+-+Copy.jpg" width="341" /></a></div>
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Last Sunday morning, September 15th, 2013, Nana left us to be made whole and perfect in joy filled eternity with our Papa God.Her leaving was quick. It keeps playing through in my mind as my brain and heart try to meet on middle ground.</div>
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I did stay up at the house like I thought I would those last few days and my mom, cousin and me tag teamed in round the clock care. Actually, the first night I planned to stay, my mom sent me home. She said it wasn't time. And she was right. I confess I was hurt. It wasn't a rejected hurt. It was only that I was worried about her being alone. I remember the raw mix of emotions I had with Daddy. But God taught me that as much as I know He supplies for my need when the time comes.....He supplies for her need as well. I mean, I knew that. But I wasn't applying that.</div>
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<span style="color: #073763;"><b>(I feel the need </b></span><b style="color: #073763;">to write about Nana's last moments here</b><b style="color: #073763;"> for my own memories. To me it is honoring and beautiful. But if it makes you uncomfortable in any way, please skip this next paragraph.)</b></div>
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Those last few days are precious to me. Family came and went in waves. We cooked, shared the time, talked stories and hugged on one another as we let time stop in ways we don't normally allow for. Then that morning all was quiet. It was just Mom and me on the floor and it was my turn to rest. Suddenly my mom announced "It is time. It is going to happen now." We got on each side and loved on Nana. As her eyes slowly opened and closed we talked to her about what she was seeing and what she would see. We talked to her about the beauty of God and the joys of heaven, of her parents, brothers, sisters and husband waiting in expectation for her. Mom cradled her mom gently in her arms and said, "Mama don't be scared. You are never alone. When you see Jesus you run to him. You run Mama and you will be just fine." Then Nana's eyes shifted a little as she looked beyond us and we saw.......I swear we saw Jesus in her eyes. That was it. She was gone. What an honor to be able to witness that. To see that change and know that peace. To watch my mom smile as she held her mom in quiet peace afterwards and praised God for His perfect timing, Praised Him for rescuing her mama from sorrow and redeeming into joy. No pain, no arthritis, no bothersome ankle screws, no diabetes, no swirling memories of heart ache and times gone by. She is now in eternal bliss with Father God. The gentleman that came from the funeral home was wonderful. He patiently waited in the background with no pressure while we all said one last goodbye. Then he gently placed Nana on her travel bed and covered her with a beautiful blue quilt (her favorite color). He brought her out to the living room where we could all circle around in prayer as we let her go. It was a precious time to share. If I could just sit in that time frame for a while longer it would be so peaceful. But instead I will etch it in my mind and move on because God appoints each moment of our lives for importance.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieYfuQqKbraiqStZejbMEPOEq73PCzl9x042qUx4mgQoXzyV1M84OIl6f8m3XFrc0oBSJhLEbOUqblRfqK95CaMnnqElF5wJgCm-t0Uqa8yKf8pgUUCvmKkBAixut54TmC9Y6IAsl0ITtS/s1600/0387_DailyWed_Small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieYfuQqKbraiqStZejbMEPOEq73PCzl9x042qUx4mgQoXzyV1M84OIl6f8m3XFrc0oBSJhLEbOUqblRfqK95CaMnnqElF5wJgCm-t0Uqa8yKf8pgUUCvmKkBAixut54TmC9Y6IAsl0ITtS/s400/0387_DailyWed_Small.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6w6y38-jlXFUignolWv0tLDQhGxxGyVyzjS5-XUU_Ezi43JLG8lEa501qXpawsG5zgfsUOPBRIgw4W2ClsZOuLBCgfqHIGrCnj3akNKOwfgDKly7RiHumw4slUa6rBCSHr1O1ZuQkOeRD/s1600/0390_DailyWed_Small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6w6y38-jlXFUignolWv0tLDQhGxxGyVyzjS5-XUU_Ezi43JLG8lEa501qXpawsG5zgfsUOPBRIgw4W2ClsZOuLBCgfqHIGrCnj3akNKOwfgDKly7RiHumw4slUa6rBCSHr1O1ZuQkOeRD/s400/0390_DailyWed_Small.jpg" width="266" /></a> These are precious pictures to me. They are from our Pippin's wedding in May.<br />
Often Nana didn't like having her picture taken. But that day she was full of smiles.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBGckbHAos_Pdv27zsK5Q7SVvIhyphenhyphenKW9Wepel123yX37jGgqtUVNi71V31OTeiowAKquZE5JDgDzLCLMSAqvHgRdSntB5hqf7Sso9enz0cRQ3L7kHCEe6i-KWKRqbsym_yiX-Ma0mbDdEza/s1600/0391_DailyWed_Small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBGckbHAos_Pdv27zsK5Q7SVvIhyphenhyphenKW9Wepel123yX37jGgqtUVNi71V31OTeiowAKquZE5JDgDzLCLMSAqvHgRdSntB5hqf7Sso9enz0cRQ3L7kHCEe6i-KWKRqbsym_yiX-Ma0mbDdEza/s400/0391_DailyWed_Small.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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The memorial is scheduled for this coming Thursday the 26th. All of the details are falling into place and I am grateful God had me work on much of it before hand. I am grateful for all of the help coming along side us. Friends are stepping in to help with tasks and offer encouragement as we take in pausing breaths. I am especially grateful for our funeral home. They have been so honoring and ready any time of day for my questions and emails. I cannot stress enough that for anyone living remotely close to us.....if you ever need arrangements made, use <a href="http://www.cornerstonefuneralservices.com/index.html" target="_blank">Cornerstone</a>. Their kindness and compassion made my family cry in relief. They blessed us with their sympathy and grace as they guided us in the whole tearful process. Their family philosophy, professionalism combined with not a single ounce of salesmenship and their compassion .....it is how we should all be treated.<br />
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Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.<br />
I pray for your peace, for your encouragement today to be rooted in the grasp of God's grace in all you do.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-77249206240557818032013-09-12T08:53:00.002-07:002013-09-12T08:53:45.018-07:00More Hospice.....It is funny. I have been up for a couple of hours and don't feel anymore clear headed than when I first opened my eyes. I wanted to do an update post today but I am not sure my thoughts are clear in any way. I did do a quick post <a href="http://apathoffood.blogspot.com/2013/09/day-66foods-that-cause-stress.html" target="_blank">here</a> last night.....not that it is any more concise but it may add perspectives that are absent at this very moment. :-)<br />
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Hospice has confirmed that Nana is in her last days here on earth before standing whole with Papa God in His amazing joy and peace filled glory eternity. My family has now all accepted this season and that is a huge blessing. Acceptance makes the raw emotion so much easier to bear.<br />
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As I sit with Nana, as I watch and help my mom.....I have had triggers back to taking care of Daddy. I remind myself it is natural and I add my new experiences to my old ones. In an odd and unexplained way it strengthens me.<br />
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Beginning tonight, I will probably start spending nights at the house so that my parents are not alone.<br />
My house has many things left undone but they are all superficial and not important right now. They actually make me giggle. You should see my house tight now. We recently started painting the outside. My husband has been working so hard on it in this heat wave we are having. My job is to do all the trim work because I am the detail person. With my detail focus on my family.......the paint on my house is 5 different colors at this moment. There is the old yellow and white, the new green and brown and the unpainted new wood color. Every angle of my home is a surprise to the eye. That ought to make anyone smile. :-)<br />
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God bless you today in His rich mercy, grace and peace.<br />
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<br />Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-5001615698997007332013-08-28T22:20:00.002-07:002013-08-28T22:20:39.537-07:00Thank You God for HospiceGod answered my prayers. Of course He always does listen and answer. It is how He is and He can't be any other way.<br />
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Nana is now enrolled in Hospice. It is a hard thing because we all know that means she isn't getting any better. But it is also a good thing because it is the much needed help and support that my parents have needed. Now there are multiple people a phone call away with knowledge and expertise that far surpass anything we can do as a family. Having hospice will enable us to love and embrace each other as family without worrying about what to do next.<br />
<i>Thank You God.....</i><br />
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Today I did something that I purposefully chose to do to bless my family. There are no provisions or arrangements at this point for funeral care. I made the calls to inquire and get that started. I called 5 different places and looked up information online. I didn't realize it would be so emotionally hard. Nana is still here and we have the honor and privilege of loving on her and hugging her all we want. So it shocked me that I would choke up on the phone and excuse myself while holding back tears. I also didn't think about the idea that sometimes a funeral home representative can become calloused and cold from the nature of their work.<br />
I am so grateful that I was the one to make the calls. I think it would have been too hard for anyone else.<br />
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<i>Thank You God for Your tender mercy, compassion and grace.</i><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-91040793241507679682013-08-22T23:31:00.005-07:002013-08-22T23:31:56.671-07:00Sleepy and tired....I am sleepy tonight but I just wrote <a href="http://apathoffood.blogspot.com/2013/08/day-46keep-moving-forward.html" target="_blank">this</a> <a href="http://apathoffood.blogspot.com/2013/08/day-46keep-moving-forward.html" target="_blank">(Keep Moving Forward)</a> on my other site and thought it had personal application for both blogs.<br />
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God bless you in all you do!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-30121922074146741682013-08-19T13:42:00.001-07:002013-08-19T13:42:33.041-07:00Trusting......Last night was the birthday dinner. It was a ton of fun to honor our daughter......our grown up married 22 year old daughter. It was cute to see her enjoying her day, squealing over her presents and loving on everyone. And then there was the food. We had a table full of wonton, manapua, stuffed panpan, rice and a huge salad. <br />
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Thank You God for our wonderful children and the loving eternal legacy that we see in them.<br />
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Last night was hard too. My Nana is advancing in her dementia and getting more frail. She is now 87 years old. Over the last few weeks the neuropathy from the diabetes is making it so she has imaginary bugs crawling on her and she can't feel her feet. That along with the fact that the dementia is affecting her equilibrium is causing her to fall several times a day even when being spotted and using a walker.<br />
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The other day she fell hard and was in a lot of pain. After x-rays showed no fractures we breathed a huge sigh of relief. Tests did show an infection for which she is getting treatment for now and is improving. But the trauma of the whole event has her not being herself right now and it is hard to watch.<br />
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The brain is so unique and complex in how it works. I am not a scholar. But my experiences help me to understand it all the only way I know how. After taking care of my daddy for so long, I learned that social skills and pretending are instinct in how people work. However when there is a great physical/emotional trauma that interrupts that pattern; the brain reverts to core life skills and the ability to socialize or do small tasks becomes a loss. Over time the brain will usually start diverting to multi tasking again. But eventually as the body gets more and more weak, those skills can become completely lost forever.<br />
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Last night, Nana could walk with the walker only if my mom was right next to her prompting each foot step. She could not hold a utensil to feed herself. She could not tract a complete intelligent sentence without falling asleep or making up words. And she didn't always know who I was. I put rolled up washcloths in her hands because she was clutching her hands closed tightly and digging her nails into her palms.<br />
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I see and know what is happening and it breaks my heart. I see my mom and she is handling it all so well. She is amazing! It is so hard to have roles change and have our parents become like a toddler. I see that she is tired too and I want to rescue her. But it is hers to do and I can't take that from her. I pray for my mom to have a mentor and confidant like I had in our hospice nurse Ellen. She was such a loving savior to me in helping me walk thru questions and knowledge that I didn't even know I had in me.<br />
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Honestly, transparently, painfully, in raw emotion without picking and choosing my words carefully........<br />
I grapple with the truth that every single second is ordained by God. He forgets nothing and loves everything. I know and believe that with all my heart. And in that, I wish I knew what the purpose is in all this. I know that God's sees the completion and I can't see but a sliver. In that though, as much as I love my precious Nana, can this please not drag on. Can my mom still have years of health for herself. Can Nana please have the peace of heaven instead of what I see as the torture of an extreme now.<br />
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I trust in You God. I know You have all of this and I trust.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-11551769827740418332013-08-17T21:50:00.001-07:002013-08-17T21:50:47.722-07:00Cake Craziness.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I can't sit and visit right now. But I do have to laugh and share this picture. Tomorrow is Pippin's birthday dinner and I sort of went crazy with making her surprise cake. It is a Death By Chocolate taken to new artistic extremes. giggle giggle</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiojyd-rH0KwYt5cgcHnuCeCtz9NuxB7355aT_U7bZfmYYBvjoJksFejDricRqXvtubP3jHjYCxkvmiDDHHuOoHKxK8ooF_zUuF8mKOfehq9UPU46hg2baYR9NY3CjdijtIc1m7baC6jhuE/s1600/0817131933.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiojyd-rH0KwYt5cgcHnuCeCtz9NuxB7355aT_U7bZfmYYBvjoJksFejDricRqXvtubP3jHjYCxkvmiDDHHuOoHKxK8ooF_zUuF8mKOfehq9UPU46hg2baYR9NY3CjdijtIc1m7baC6jhuE/s400/0817131933.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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God bless you in all you set your hands and feet to!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-41739235146191080182013-08-01T15:25:00.001-07:002013-08-01T15:25:25.253-07:00My Husband is My Hero!About 3 weeks ago I was visiting my folks when my dad made reference to the bee hive that appeared in their Magnolia tree. It was small and hidden in the leaves of one branch. If you weren't right on top of it you would have no idea it was there.<div>
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Then it grew.....</div>
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And it grew.................</div>
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And it grew..........................</div>
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It grew until it was the size of a personal watermelon.</div>
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We all got nervous by that time. My mom spied a close look through her binoculars and realized they weren't bees. They were black hornets! At the same time she was looking, my dad was looking as well, only he was closer. He got stung twice as they swarmed outside of the hive in a stance of angry protection. Those stings made him jump and fall back, roll down the hill and take a wedge out of his ear when he hit up against a garden round.<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LVPtF5dYiy4/UfraLCeC4aI/AAAAAAAAJ-g/DIpsAkCO6RE/s1600/20130728_194601.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LVPtF5dYiy4/UfraLCeC4aI/AAAAAAAAJ-g/DIpsAkCO6RE/s400/20130728_194601.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can you see the black hornet hive?</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How about now?</td></tr>
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My husband is so amazing! He decided that he would protect my parents and get rid of that horrid hive for them before anymore awful accidents reared up.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rrXALRwOoVg/UfraLLiJEEI/AAAAAAAAJ-k/fOCD9UBrzYY/s1600/20130728_195515.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rrXALRwOoVg/UfraLLiJEEI/AAAAAAAAJ-k/fOCD9UBrzYY/s400/20130728_195515.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He donned his old military chemical warfare suit.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xX_bKhsAj9Q/UfraLKqJBQI/AAAAAAAAJ-k/cg9NKTU-WLo/s1600/20130728_195325.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xX_bKhsAj9Q/UfraLKqJBQI/AAAAAAAAJ-k/cg9NKTU-WLo/s400/20130728_195325.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Then everyone helped.</td></tr>
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Everyone helped him tie up the ends and duct tape every seam imaginable. Then he sprayed and layered the inside of 3 huge garbage bags with bug spray. <br />
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He made it all look so effortless as he walked straight up to the hive, bag it, tie it closed and then cut off the branch.<br />
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<i>Thank You God for my amazing husband!</i><br />
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Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-22425185757560770942013-07-23T21:28:00.000-07:002013-07-23T21:28:01.451-07:00It is 9:30pmI am home and settled in now. Being in court for jury was an interesting experience. My name was called twice today but I was never part of the final pick. Now I will not be given the opportunity to serve again for two years.<br />
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While it was an experience, it was taxing to pack my stuff for the whole day. I mean I figured it all out but I certainly wouldn't want to do it on a regular basis. Getting off public transit and walking the 1.75 miles home in the afternoon in the heat I think is what really did me in. Praise God He gave me the foresight to pack an umbrella for a bit of shade.<br />
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For now I am going to unwind and hit my pillow.<br />
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May blessings abound for you in all you do!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-47406686132291731482013-07-22T17:11:00.001-07:002013-07-22T17:11:33.550-07:00Random waiting uppdates<p dir=ltr>I am sitting here today using my time as best as I know how and waiting all at the same time. It is my honor and privilege to be in a waiting room today with my name in the lottery for jury duty. The day is half over and I haven't been called yet. We shall see.</p>
<p dir=ltr>A judge came in this moring and gave an impressive speech about our importance and vital position as a juror. That even if we arent called, simply having our name in for draw assures that there will be opportunity for a well rounded jury. I believe every ounce of that. I truly do. But I also think it hilarious that the decor mural our chairs are all positioned to view in this waiting room....is an elaborate circus paintjng. Am I off my rocker or is there humor in that?</p>
<p dir=ltr>So this is the first time I have ever tried topost from ny tablet.....</p>
<p dir=ltr>I have to say I have been playing around a lot on my other blog page. Don't know how to attach a link on this so here is the address: apathoffood.blogspot.com</p>
<p dir=ltr>My husband and are are getting healthy and having so much fun in the process. Beteen the 2 of us we have lost almost 30 pounds in the last two weeks. We feel great, are learning awesome things and since we are doing it together its like we are continually on a date. It is too much fun!</p>
<p dir=ltr>Thank You God for Your direction and for helping encourage us in changing our learn<i>ed patterns and habits. Every day is a new victory to celebrate.</i></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWyyMiEaYX-78eULQdhkk59MZXxjarILgoWjemA6QbKO19BpIIBZAcigd-x10D4lPjSrc5I6X4TWyYeSUrhlvTeaownGSc-cCDRMdR7EFSFojvGgLT94IEVI6OC5Kea049tXnBMr9F9pza/s1600/Jury%252520room.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWyyMiEaYX-78eULQdhkk59MZXxjarILgoWjemA6QbKO19BpIIBZAcigd-x10D4lPjSrc5I6X4TWyYeSUrhlvTeaownGSc-cCDRMdR7EFSFojvGgLT94IEVI6OC5Kea049tXnBMr9F9pza/s640/Jury%252520room.jpg"> </a> </div>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-11650566790698738432013-06-28T10:54:00.001-07:002013-06-28T10:54:30.245-07:00Beloved.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm32Uw9xdvtuWdW0kPXhcBsI4wwv3xu-YYc1q_ekMIhfS2SBtIhjs38V-Nw9mxlA6hXG6PINALcZLVVHl1seqpOYjBYtbxL3npON47ldIZFMRx8vqGdmo2xsRlqoznFFi_ilEwjDsa0Ykk/s1600/DSCN8974.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm32Uw9xdvtuWdW0kPXhcBsI4wwv3xu-YYc1q_ekMIhfS2SBtIhjs38V-Nw9mxlA6hXG6PINALcZLVVHl1seqpOYjBYtbxL3npON47ldIZFMRx8vqGdmo2xsRlqoznFFi_ilEwjDsa0Ykk/s400/DSCN8974.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
It is painful to be a blooming young adult. I so remember that time where I felt I could conquer and change <i>Who am I going to be? What am I going to do? How do I believe?</i> Also in that mix was a million other questions that knocked without a name. They were just hanging around and nudging with their presence. It is that place where logically you know this time period happens to everyone; and yet such a statement cannot possibly begin to justify a fraction of validity in what you feel.<br />
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I remember being in that place where I felt I could conquer the world and become anything .......as long as I stayed ahead of the questions in my mind.<br />
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That is where our youngest is right now. It has been a long time now that she has been swimming in this ocean and the waves keep coming. She is fine, there is no danger of undertows. She just can't see the shore yet. I feel for her. Sometimes she is transparent with me while other times she can't even label it for herself much less put it to audible word.<br />
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I hug her when she lets me. I laugh with her and spend time with her every chance we get because it is connection.<br />
I pray for her.<br />
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Prayer.....<br />
I have been purposing to spend time with my Papa; purposing to read and sit. Things are slowly expanding for me. The absence is less and I feel hope. During worship last Sunday I told God, <i>"here I am. I don't even know what to say right now but I know I need You."</i><br />
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The next day I was at the office and had an interesting encounter. A gentleman came in the front door asking for directions to a certain address. He looked very normal, slacks and sweater, he was maybe 28-35 years old. He was polite and unassuming. I looked up his address on my laptop and then a co-worker explained the directions. During our talk he made mention that he was on his way to a job interview. So when he was walking out I smiled and said, "God bless you on your interview." As he pushed the front door open he looked back at me and said, "Thank you my beloved." and then was gone.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmbhbaPmzfbysmgjlpQ2wz_PO1b-Tn6pJvtGmnu9J1znBUjbKyHaWX9DgIEQuPKbmW4CXjtCRNHeI0bmD1IcjBz9Rbfzk0A4L-n87__m1smzHwSPXbAgQ8PNPhOxpyAaLT1_NcxNDjAjZA/s1600/DesertFlower.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmbhbaPmzfbysmgjlpQ2wz_PO1b-Tn6pJvtGmnu9J1znBUjbKyHaWX9DgIEQuPKbmW4CXjtCRNHeI0bmD1IcjBz9Rbfzk0A4L-n87__m1smzHwSPXbAgQ8PNPhOxpyAaLT1_NcxNDjAjZA/s400/DesertFlower.jpg" width="400" /></a>I remember thinking that is not an every day statement. I looked at my co-worker but she was already almost to her office door. I didn't even think to ask if she heard. I settled back to my tasks and forgot what was said.<br />
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Later as I was heading to my car, I stopped in the middle of the parking lot as I replayed the morning's events, "Thank you my beloved." Then it hit me fully. A dawning excitement washed over me and I jumped into my car so I could talk to God .....without appearing crazy.<br />
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<i>"Lord that is not a normal statement to make. You don't hear friends say that to one another much less complete strangers. Was that You? Was I unaware of entertaining an angel? Was that You giving me encouragement that I am never alone and You hear and know my every thought?"</i><br />
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Whatever it was, whomever it was; I felt lighter all the way home. I felt like a beloved. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-1879345700106722582013-06-13T16:38:00.002-07:002013-06-14T01:41:31.259-07:00Is Anyone In There?......I try to never write without having a positive purpose; a truth and point of inspiration in looking forward. But the truth right now is that I am numb.<br />
All these things are going on and I feel like the emotion sensor of my heart has been taken out.<br />
<br />
It is so cute to watch Pippin and Poet together. It blesses me that she calls and says, "Hey Mom are you and Dad free to go on a double date?" It thrills me that she sends me daily texts that say 'I love you Mommy'. But the blessing and the thrills are absent of heart tugging emotion.<br />
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Puddin' just finished her freshman year of college and is so pleased with herself. We are elated and so very proud of her. I smile and love my cherished youngest daughter to pieces. But my heart appears to be floating in a lost void of space.<br />
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A couple of days ago I took my mom to a lung specialist to address abnormalities that were found during her recent hospital stay. Tests showed that there are multiple nodules in both of her lungs. There appears to be nothing else showing up elsewhere in her body. The specialist gave his reasons and opinion and feels that the safest and smartest route to go is to wait three months and scan again for differences. My mom cried with relief and praised God for the doctor's confidence. I simply sat there.<br />
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I could have said something important, something valid. I could have breathed a sigh of relief and called everyone with the good news. Instead I felt more like I was checking errands off a task list.....cold hearted and empty. I would say I feel ashamed. But I don't even feel that.<br />
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It is all as if I am outside my body and going through the motions of the day. I can stand beside myself and scream into my ears......'How about now?! Can you feel it now?!' But my response is a flat line no response.<br />
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If I were listening to someone else with these worries on their plate; I would tell them the last few month have been trying and it is okay to be in shock. I would say that it is alright to not always have the answers and to not be so hard on themselves.<br />
But not even those words feel right at this time.<br />
<br />
I want to feel. I want to own each moment. I know what my head says I should be doing and offering up right now. I know what my heart should be partnering with. But all I can think right now is, '<i>When will my heart wake up?'</i>.<br />
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<i>Papa, all I can do is call your name........</i><br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-60425749014178323992013-06-05T12:39:00.000-07:002013-06-05T12:39:27.233-07:00The Wedding!<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX6cCjniL0JwYMZr2BYKAz_XLG4Izy1721GfN1GslecONe4xtKvdL_Ccldblz8FGUGH9XwkKbu7TkIXkqj7OrEvdw3Mywx6ZBGBOVOo-bjt4J2sbqYXlyIKevsW8Wv1FPT7b_tzlMWlgV2/s1600/970101_10201132456814202_782540361_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX6cCjniL0JwYMZr2BYKAz_XLG4Izy1721GfN1GslecONe4xtKvdL_Ccldblz8FGUGH9XwkKbu7TkIXkqj7OrEvdw3Mywx6ZBGBOVOo-bjt4J2sbqYXlyIKevsW8Wv1FPT7b_tzlMWlgV2/s400/970101_10201132456814202_782540361_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Wedding Party</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfpBsO5ulUCjQP5S8ldaYVqVyzHa8VP9oTpwFE1umvmqHBr7XH9Xcvi3G7Ub3JtywoDexHeeJzH9VKjZVhc93WaQL16F9KYwVXxWJqOWAzIoLdB4eB7JSoZHQhY5x9fOWA0qrBkpSxEWmg/s1600/IMG_0426.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfpBsO5ulUCjQP5S8ldaYVqVyzHa8VP9oTpwFE1umvmqHBr7XH9Xcvi3G7Ub3JtywoDexHeeJzH9VKjZVhc93WaQL16F9KYwVXxWJqOWAzIoLdB4eB7JSoZHQhY5x9fOWA0qrBkpSxEWmg/s400/IMG_0426.jpg" width="281" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bride & Groom First Look - so precious - <br />He cried with a flood of emotion.</td></tr>
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Here and there I have thoughts that I tell myself I should put to writing and then things keep moving forward and I get side tracked. So, I now sit wanting to write insight-fully and document my time. But nothing seems to fit my self desired writing format. Instead, I find right now that the facts are the truth and they are the best........<br />
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Preparing for the wedding was a huge amazing honor. It was so fun to create everything for our daughter and tailor it to her desires. The official pictures will be back in a few weeks but these quick snaps are fun to see.<br />
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Every second of the wedding was a precious treasure and unique for their style. Instead of the typical Bridal Entrance; our daughter chose a guitar instrumental of Disney's "Some Day My Prince Will Come". The wedding kiss was indeed their first kiss as they said they would do all along. <br />
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The theme of the day was <u>Foundations </u>because God is the foundation of their individual lives as well as their new journey together. Instead of a guest book, people painted their names and encouragements on river stones to be kept in a vase for the bride and groom. Later as guests were leaving, they were given river stones with favorite scriptures of the happy couple.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ3VwRUOzlJH_8htaqQt8U16oDX4BZykHbIW0yN94xKMJEMjudED9eznxZniKU_fyP4Pca0FdgMBJTtRy46-y2EfHJX1_jwWBBfMdUFfNGQCXTBCKts4oamxhz8U9Ymc8vcmbIGftHjHFE/s1600/The+Aerie+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ3VwRUOzlJH_8htaqQt8U16oDX4BZykHbIW0yN94xKMJEMjudED9eznxZniKU_fyP4Pca0FdgMBJTtRy46-y2EfHJX1_jwWBBfMdUFfNGQCXTBCKts4oamxhz8U9Ymc8vcmbIGftHjHFE/s400/The+Aerie+4.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Guests signed river stones</td></tr>
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Watching everyone dance as I mingled about was so fun. My brother put together a blended array of worship along with the easy fun sounds of artists like Jack Johnson, Ray LaMontange, IZ, Nora Jones, Michael Buble, Nat King Cole, The Turtles, The Monkees, The Romantics and many more. I have a copy of all the music here at home and I am reliving many smiles as I listen to it all daily.<br />
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Our family and friends came together to offer so much help along the way as they united with our celebrating. I am very grateful for each person and each minute. From my brother and cousin who mastered the sound, my sister-in-law and cousin installing the decor and the many friends who spear headed clean up with an air of effortless precision....they and many more were all amazing. Then my dear friend who took point for me the whole day; oh my goodness I am so grateful. I have to laugh at myself for ever thinking I could be both "mother-of-the-bride" AND "master of the day".<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWFFfCuCyii4oDDoctPq6bjAcseBL4DA5645GnBd0qgQqGutvpbhgK-gcZ-tfR4m_BHKVA2qles556MxbopnGwhv6Cub18saak0LQ5uQd44keDZ2Yt0WRNY3WOZ4KDGfHNlCcr739jASpx/s1600/IMG_0427.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWFFfCuCyii4oDDoctPq6bjAcseBL4DA5645GnBd0qgQqGutvpbhgK-gcZ-tfR4m_BHKVA2qles556MxbopnGwhv6Cub18saak0LQ5uQd44keDZ2Yt0WRNY3WOZ4KDGfHNlCcr739jASpx/s400/IMG_0427.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Memento table with scripture river stones for guests to take home.</td></tr>
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In everything along the way of preparation I could feel God's guiding hand in inspiration, direction and even that pesky detail of funding. All the way down to the final details and extras like being able to make jewelry and finding special heirloom handkerchiefs to give all of the family moms and grandmas.....His hand was everywhere.<br />
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The day of rehearsal found me with no other task but to enjoy and let my thoughts spin in my head. It struck me as an odd thought that I couldn't recall anyone ever being done with wedding prep tasks 3 days before the event. I thanked God for His guiding in getting it all done and didn't think much more about it. Our eldest daughter had driven in from Spokane early to help me with any last minute things. She and I had fun doing some window shopping for those little wedding details that no one would be any wiser had they not been there. Then we headed up to make jewelry and have lunch with my mom. It was a great afternoon to visit and channel energy into creativity as we shared stories of whatever happened to cross our minds. I am so grateful for that time. It all ended up being very surreal and something I kept tracking back to as the weekend progressed.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK1n0WOGwk2juLWDij1WZjn5NEekLpI6kX_obe3TcOl6x-aiX8JPq_nNTFL-Y0Y5twmtTUkYDfT3fxdGIBWQj-hozD5Nv5F8zj2hWxF6YDc2c4KdZ_R5YRyVcROapiDdMjC8X0QQEMZubb/s1600/IMG_0440.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK1n0WOGwk2juLWDij1WZjn5NEekLpI6kX_obe3TcOl6x-aiX8JPq_nNTFL-Y0Y5twmtTUkYDfT3fxdGIBWQj-hozD5Nv5F8zj2hWxF6YDc2c4KdZ_R5YRyVcROapiDdMjC8X0QQEMZubb/s400/IMG_0440.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is one of my favorite snaps. <br />I love their joy.</td></tr>
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Later in the evening as I was pulling into the parking lot for rehearsal, I received a call from my dad concerning my mom. She was having chest pains that her nitro pills were being unsuccessful in abating. I have to admit my brain got pretty stuck at that point and .....well you can imagine. I distinctly remember thinking, <i>"oh this is why You told me to enlist Wendy to take charge for the wedding and You kept encouraging me to let go and let her lead it all."</i> As the rehearsal progressed, I prayed for my mom with this weird mixture of power and denial.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi21TqzyLQd4F3VfwSYwIzexz8bzo5CaiiK7Gh2xhiNq6CbVw5n1upnzgPSajfieL9rA8wB2zhmkxqRj39VmL-WHHGl533DRohfwpiZS3XnKjBim_99IFPZaXoB2suYjxwkaWn17hI46Sk3/s1600/IMG_0450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi21TqzyLQd4F3VfwSYwIzexz8bzo5CaiiK7Gh2xhiNq6CbVw5n1upnzgPSajfieL9rA8wB2zhmkxqRj39VmL-WHHGl533DRohfwpiZS3XnKjBim_99IFPZaXoB2suYjxwkaWn17hI46Sk3/s400/IMG_0450.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Nana</td></tr>
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God always shows me that He can handle more than I imagine and this was no exception. I wanted to be there for my mom. I have always been the one to break down the doctor jargon and be family liaison. But I knew it would break her heart to think I missed rehearsal because of her. So at rehearsal I stayed and kept reminding myself that God is a good task master and He is in charge. I knew that I knew that I knew....I would see her later.<br />
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Remember that thought of ......<i>who gets done with wedding prep tasks 3 days early?</i> Now I see why. The day before the wedding was split multiple times between hospital tests, visiting out of town guests, talking with the doctor, lunch with family, hospital visit and explaining to family, dinner with guests. If I were to hear someone else relive that day; I would be in shock at it all. But I was fine for God did it all. Yes I was tired and emotional. Yes I sat on my bed and cried out to God at the huge volley of complete joy and complete despair sitting in my hands. But God helped me compartmentalize and hold each task at its appointed time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUGLQiV3WeVjn-oIIABCtaLWnQp1WgvsIzAglti3QERZjMwOYI5urHp4gJnWJXi4nzugM-rHcOlKn7lUOHnfA3YhML9hCtQmd6oviWYcUfieJ_SaUtwGsvpGTmEpLynDmf6eq2PmM31FX9/s1600/IMG_0495.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUGLQiV3WeVjn-oIIABCtaLWnQp1WgvsIzAglti3QERZjMwOYI5urHp4gJnWJXi4nzugM-rHcOlKn7lUOHnfA3YhML9hCtQmd6oviWYcUfieJ_SaUtwGsvpGTmEpLynDmf6eq2PmM31FX9/s400/IMG_0495.jpg" width="382" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">4 generations</td></tr>
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It reminded me greatly of being with Daddy and caring for him for that whole year. Times of intense trial bring on clarity. It is a conundrum of clarity that makes a person rely on God and peel away the extra things that do not matter. It becomes a very precious time that holds great value as heart pain is embraced. <br />
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The wedding day is a treasure to hold in my heart for so many reasons. Family near and far came to celebrate and honor Pippin & Poet - Rachell & Joshua. My mom was released from the hospital 3 hours before the ceremony and was able to attend! My Nana was able to attend. She is 87 years young and with her advancing dementia, I imagine the wedding my very well be the last event she is ever able to be part of.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0nYdhfq7Md3_JPm7SJLfLE0nGdB-wqt9BhJfaMshqCzCLfiRai2H5r1Y0fNmnozPXtvZ9QtzjLU2HvOgLKQuofbhTSxUn0TjK7pHWzmHNoSctIYXlRWJL6o4lBK9p_dkW1z8I3np3ZkFC/s1600/DSCN8980.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0nYdhfq7Md3_JPm7SJLfLE0nGdB-wqt9BhJfaMshqCzCLfiRai2H5r1Y0fNmnozPXtvZ9QtzjLU2HvOgLKQuofbhTSxUn0TjK7pHWzmHNoSctIYXlRWJL6o4lBK9p_dkW1z8I3np3ZkFC/s400/DSCN8980.JPG" width="400" /></a> Now, it has been just over a week. The kids (will I ever stop calling them that?) are now back from Mexico and so cute together in their new married ways. I went to their apartment yesterday to watch them open presents and they were adorable.<br />
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My mom is doing well. There are a lot of doctors visits and tests ahead but it will all be handled in God's timing.<br />
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Gary and I also went away for a few days to recoup. It was good to be on the beach and focus on each other without other things pulling for our attention.<br />
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And one more thing to share.......<br />
Our Puddin' girl is finishing up her first year of photography in college and is having so much fun. These days in a photography program one has to know everything from using old style film to manipulating layers of photos digitally. Below is one of her final projects. She had to use key things like vanishing point, blending modes and self portrait.<br />
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Oh my gosh we are so proud of her talent and creativity!</div>
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<i>Papa God, I celebrate You. Thank You for always being here, being our guide, our wisdom, strength and sustaining force that is greater than anything else in the universe. Thank You for the celebration of unity. And thank You for your love.</i><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a><br />
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Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-31634651775880299582013-03-26T09:45:00.000-07:002013-03-27T09:45:07.481-07:00The Rain Is ComingEcclesiastes 3 says:<br />
<br />
<i>"To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:</i><br />
<i>A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,</i><br />
<i>A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,</i><br />
<i>A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,</i><br />
<i>A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,</i><br />
<i>A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,</i><br />
<i>A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,</i><br />
<i>A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."</i><br />
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As I sit here this morning reading the above passage, I am struck and comforted at God's pairing of everything with its opposite. It reminds me that not only do things change but they become their 180 degree balance.<br />
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I could spend time right now going into a deep explanation of this current season but it seems irrelevant. We all carry the amount that God knows we can handle with His strength. Details don't matter. The truth is that I am grateful for seasons. The hard ones help me focus and the easy ones help me to be grateful.<br />
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Suffice it to say this is a harder season. But as promised, God is always here.<br />
The other night as I was falling to sleep, I had a dream. It was an interesting image to say the least and it makes me laugh sometimes, but it has been in the foremost of my mind ever since.<br />
<br />
In my dream, I was standing in a dry field and behind me was a chicken coop. The coop was on fire. Smoke was billowing out of every crevice while flames jumped in abandon and chickens were squawking up a storm. There were people running around crazy like the sky was falling. They were crying, screaming, pulling their hair and even running into the side of the chicken coop in their crazed state. The interesting thing is all those people were "me". They all looked like me, dressed like me, sounded like me and felt like me. (Dreams are funny that way.)<br />
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Then my dream view went back to the first me that was standing in the middle of the field surrounded by all of the craziness. Time slowed down, I could even hear the sound of time slowing and it tuned out the other sounds of panic and catastrophe behind me. I saw sweat beads rolling down my face in slow motion. Then I closed my eyes, shook my head from side to side and willed myself to say, "I will not run around crazy like that. I refuse. I can smell the rain coming. It's in the air. I can smell the rain and we are going to be okay. It is all going to be okay."<br />
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That is all I remember of the dream but it talks to me as I go through my days. I keep hearing this whisper and echo, "the rain is coming.......it's coming.......the rain is coming". Sometimes, like right now, it catches in my chest and makes my steps stall because I hear it so soundly. It vibrates in my heart.<br />
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Yesterday when I opened the door to go outside, I actually smelled rain in the air.<br />
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Can you smell it? Do you know it's coming? It IS coming. That smell only happens when the heavens are swelling from the fullness of it all and the rain is about to spill over the edge. That smell.....it is such a unique smell; as if the dirt is stirring and wanting to run away from the fact that the ground is about to change.<br />
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<i>God I breathe it in and embrace it. Thank You for Your promise of rain, Your promise of change, Your promise of steadfastness, strength, hope and destiny that cannot be stolen away. </i><br />
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*3/27/13 Post note; I was sharing this dream with a friend last night and having fun talking about all the different ways God speaks to us. Through her sharing with me my thoughts lit on a new twist to my thinking. I wonder if the smell of rain is the earth celebrating the expectation and anticipation of the refreshing life water.....<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-31070141907756910442012-08-09T09:04:00.000-07:002012-08-09T09:04:57.890-07:00They Are Engaged!....<br />
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From the beginning of their relationship, they both laid the ground rules that neither were looking for a hang out buddy. Neither wanted to invest their hearts into a relationship that would spiral into a 'burn out waste of time' just for the sake of not being single. For the last year they have supported and encouraged one another as they live their daily lives and talk frankly about their future. Even still; she had no idea when she suggested they spend a beautiful Saturday at the beach that he had a surprise up his sleeve.<br />
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For us, one evening in the end of May while she was still at work, <i>The Poet</i> came over and had 'the talk' with my husband. We have been bursting with excitement ever since as we give each other knowing glances and adjust to the idea that our precious baby girl is no longer a lil' girl. <br />
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God reminded me of something a couple of weeks ago that made me catch my breath. He put a scene in my mind of the first conversation I ever had with <i>The Poet</i>. I introduced myself to him at church and was enjoying getting to know him. Our conversation revolved around his passions of God, job and school. As I stood there talking and listening, in my head I said, <i>"Papa God, this guy is amazing. There is a wealth of gold in him that You are fashioning." </i><br />
God replied, <i>"Yes I know there is. I made him that way and brought him here for her (He named my daughter)".</i><br />
My instant thought was that I must have heard wrong. At that time, <i>The Poet</i> had an idea he might be moving to Florida for school and I had never pictured my daughter moving to Florida.....so I must have heard wrong. Besides, she was planning to be single for a long time since her dreamy check list she wrote and prayed over for a future husband had very specific criteria.<br />
So I dismissed that mental conversation as something I heard wrong and never gave it another thought......until now. <br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i8ZyPu3oH8E/UCNfH4bUEGI/AAAAAAAAD9E/5tQx2eXMCxg/s1600/IMAG0339.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i8ZyPu3oH8E/UCNfH4bUEGI/AAAAAAAAD9E/5tQx2eXMCxg/s320/IMAG0339.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0px none ! important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-69009102638999441012012-07-31T08:49:00.001-07:002012-07-31T08:49:23.982-07:00Breathe....<br />
My breathing and saving thought right now.......<br />
<br />
Today is a new day. And in that is hope, joy, peace, grace and a fresh
spiritual atmosphere because God is always doing something even when we can't put
our finger on it.<br />
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<i>Thank You God. Oh how we need You.</i> <br />
<br />
<a href="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0px none ! important;" /></a><br />Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-45854362076387186402012-07-27T22:06:00.000-07:002012-07-28T07:23:07.285-07:00Don't Partner With a Negative Suggestion......<br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977"></span><br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Last week I had a doctor appointment that caused me to derail my thinking for a time. It was a routine appointment that didn't take long at all. The doctor and I shared pleasantries and regular medical conversation about why I was there. There were statements like, <span style="color: #4c1130;">"Women in your age bracket....."</span> and <span style="color: #4c1130;">"Only needing certain tests......"</span></span><br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Then as my formal examination commenced she said,<span style="color: #4c1130;"> "Actually ummm.... I am going to change my mind. Let's do this other test."</span></span><br />
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<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">She made a point of telling me that the test results would say negative and it was no big deal. I smiled, agreed and laughed it off until she left the room. Then against better judgement I crumbled. My brain kept thinking, <i>"Why would she change her mind? What did she see?" </i>The word WHY was playing on a ticker tape in my brain and spinning in circles. I could have had the presence of mind to <u>ask</u> her......but I never did. I mentally chided myself for being so quick to jump to a partially suggested conclusion and told that 'me' to grow up.</span><br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">But as the next couple of days elapsed, I found myself distracted and lost in imagined scenarios. WHY became replaced by WHAT IF as my mind created scenes of how life would be different. My husband, my girls, my mom, different milestones that are on the horizon for us......they were all tied together. Mingled in with those picture clips were scenes of 2 years ago when I cared for Daddy through his cancer battle.</span><br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Seemingly against my own will and rational thought, my days became a fog and then arrested by the WHAT IFs. I even had a couple of times where I thought I might hyperventilate as I tried to get a hold of myself. A small voice in my head kept saying,<i> "Reach out for help. Don't battle these thoughts alone. You are not alone." </i></span><br />
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<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Finally, I took opportunity to tell my husband and that is when things changed for me. I told him how my fears and assumptions had developed monsters of their own. I even confessed to the crazy truth that I had googled images and information on my laptop of key words I heard during my appointment. As we talked and prayed, those monsters became less intimidating and my shoulders felt lighter.</span><br />
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<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Yesterday the test results came in the mail. The results were "normal" just like I was told they would be. You want to know what is funny? My thoughts had changed so much after confessing, praying and partnering in accountability with my husband that I almost forgot to open the envelope. I wasn't worried at all.</span><br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Thoughts can be a tricky thing. They are constantly in motion. We hear statements all the time that speak to the power of our thoughts:</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">I couldn't help myself.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">It makes me so angry (sad, frustrated, hurt).</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">It is all I think about.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">I don't know. It just came out of my mouth.</span></i></div>
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<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Our thoughts carry strength and power but they do not have to control our lives in a negative way. We have the awesome ability to CHOOSE what we dwell on. Sure, things will always pop into our thoughts. But God gives us the privilege of being able to weigh them out and choose what we give our time and energy to.</span><br />
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<div style="color: #274e13; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">"We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">This scripture clearly says that we can change our thoughts. If we can make our thoughts "obedient to Christ" as it says, then that means that the anger, fear, shame and out-of-control thoughts don't have to have power. </span></span><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977"> </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Now that doesn't mean we run around with our fingers in our ears and quote <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103241/" target="_blank">Bob </a>by saying over and over, "I feel fine....I feel great.....I feel wonderful." There is a time for deep thoughts and weighing heavy things. But even deep thoughts don't have to have the privilege of consuming us.</span><br />
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<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">We have opportunity to evaluate, measure and change our thoughts. We can look at each thought and say:</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Is this a truth thought?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Is this worth spending my time and energy on?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977"><i>What should I be thinking on? </i></span></div>
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">It was an important lesson for me to learn right now.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Currently my Nana is in a rehabilitation center working on gaining strength in her back after a fall. The combination of seeing my Nana becoming more frail, watching her wrestle with a bit of confusion and memory loss, witnessing my mom handle so much as her daughter and care-giver (a feeling I remember so well).....I have to confess to flashing back to all of the feelings and situations I found myself in with caring for Daddy. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">This small situation with learning not to let my emotions partner with panic from a single comment at my doctor appointment is so perfect for helping me to bring into alignment this bigger time frame as well. I get to choose to make my morning visits with Nana be just about her and me. I get to choose to enjoy instead of feeling sad. I have the joy of choosing what to dwell on.</span><br />
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<i><span class="text 2Cor-10-5" id="en-NIV-28977">Thank You God for Your gift of choice. Thank You that You give us the ability to not be subjected to whatever whim that passes through our brains. Thank you that you give us the strength to look and grasp what is right and true. Thank You for making each day new and fresh, full of hope, joy and purpose.</span></i><br />
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<a href="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0px none ! important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-2008722103400801922012-06-26T23:15:00.003-07:002012-06-30T09:28:23.762-07:00Sudden Opportunity.....<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_x-5RSgKiB8/T-pBWXCUckI/AAAAAAAADt0/OtV3DRL8G8c/s1600/0625121501a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_x-5RSgKiB8/T-pBWXCUckI/AAAAAAAADt0/OtV3DRL8G8c/s320/0625121501a.jpg" width="240" /></a>I have much in my head that I still have yet to put words to on my keyboard. But for the moment, I really want to share the opportunity we had yesterday.<br />
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My husband was blessed with a day off of work. It is not often that he is able to take time off so he and I planned to enjoy fully. We decided to spend the day together doing our favorite hobby: hiking and enjoying the amazing Columbia Gorge. A treasured place we like to hike is <a href="http://web.oregon.com/hiking/eaglecreek.cfm" target="_blank">Eagle Creek Trail</a> just outside of Cascade Locks. It is a slightly more advanced hiking trail as the elevation really climbs in a couple of areas. Also there are 2 spots where the path is cut into a cliff face and there are cables anchored into the wall to hold to for safety. (If you scroll through this <a href="http://julesstones.blogspot.com/2008/07/over-river-and-thru-woods.html" target="_blank">old post</a>, you can see a picture of such an area) It turned out to be beautiful mild weather. With food and water in out pack, we spent a handful of hours breathing in the beauty of the area.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7HeAZlYAdHo/T-pA5YoIvrI/AAAAAAAADtU/YFD0UTStXIk/s1600/0625121519.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7HeAZlYAdHo/T-pA5YoIvrI/AAAAAAAADtU/YFD0UTStXIk/s320/0625121519.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
Late in the afternoon as we were headed back down, we met a woman hiking up with her 2 large dogs. I can't be positive but as I look back on the events I want to say we met up at that very same spot I had taken a picture of so many years ago. As always, I had fun petting the 'fuzzy children' and making quick friends. Then we said our farewells and continued on. Not more than 25 paces into our decent, we heard the woman scream and yell for her husky dog. Bohdee was gone! I heard the horrid crashing of her malamute falling 150 feet to the bottom of the cliff and then there was no sound at all. The woman was panicked. We locked eyes and she begged for help. She passed me the lead of her other dog and then threw off her pack and looked around to see if there was a way she could scale down the rock face. My husband convinced her to head down towards the river to look for a path while he headed back up top to see if there was an alternate way down. I followed her to make sure she kept safe.<br />
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After rounding a few corners we came upon our first person and he was a God-send. His name was Josiah and at a quick glance I could tell he was a level headed <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacGyver" target="_blank">MacGyver</a> sort of person that God had put in that spot for a special purpose. Josiah instantly gave up his camping hike and broke off the path into the forest with Amanda while I ran a good mile and a half to find a phone number for the forestry department. Everyone I spoke with was so wonderfully understanding and within 90 minutes a volunteer search and rescue team called Crag Rats was activated and on site.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4VeJFvk62LY/T-pAHTYJ7rI/AAAAAAAADsk/eAxnNnnO6OA/s1600/0625122028.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4VeJFvk62LY/T-pAHTYJ7rI/AAAAAAAADsk/eAxnNnnO6OA/s320/0625122028.jpg" width="240" /></a>It did not take long for Bohdee to be found and he was alive! Isn't that amazing? He appeared to have several broken bones in his hips and ribs but his eyes were alert. The forest was too dense to carry him out from the river floor so the rescue team set together a belay system and brought him back up to the path while strapped to an immobilizing cage board. 6 hours after Bohdee's fall everyone was safely in the parking lot. <br />
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My husband and I were worn out but spent the drive home talking about all the things God did through the whole event. After washing with tecnu to break off any hints of poison oak, we crashed into our bed and slept solid.<br />
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God is so amazing how He plans and provides!<br />
*We were the only ones in that particular area on the path when Bohdee fell. Had Amanda been completely alone what would have happened?<br />
*Bohdee was not on a lead at that moment. If he had been, would his 105 pound frame have pulled Amanda over as well?<br />
*My husband was incredible in his calm thinking and action.<br />
*As I was headed down the path for help, I came upon friends. 30 miles from home and I run into people I know? They activated a phone prayer chain for everyone's safety.<br />
*The Crag Rat volunteers were so amazing to come even though it was getting dark. Their compassion was so vital. I knew no matter how Amanda found Bohdee, she was not going to leave the forest without he dog.<br />
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Tired and sore but so grateful for the way everything ended up.<br />
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Post note: Here is the<a href="http://www.kgw.com/video/featured-videos/Dog-rescued-after-200-foot-fall-in-Gorge-160680795.html" target="_blank"> </a><a href="http://www.kgw.com/video/featured-videos/Dog-rescued-after-200-foot-fall-in-Gorge-160680795.html" target="_blank">news feed </a>about the event. (The guy in the yellow shirt is my hubby.) We have recently heard that Bohdee had 5 hours of surgery last night to repair a broken pelvis and punctured lung and might be able to be home this weekend. <br />
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<i>Thank You God for Your presence always being around us. </i><br />
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<a href="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0px none ! important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-29947983220731072672012-06-06T12:24:00.000-07:002012-06-09T09:44:34.859-07:00Artistic Creativity.....<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKDqhMoIG6PllRnQzATeEuBoyfv3z7UdRGqK_uUCu8rJHbI0EYBJuIylOkfoj1WzODYzLugF-WsLiXU9W33eX86uFn3IgC8TB5UcEGd3SJ3C8mFiHg_jZEKbgNItxFUYNrJ0OmnjIDFhcb/s1600/Baby-Twins-Crucia-and-Imperio-bellatrix-and-lord-voldemort-12797218-840-600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKDqhMoIG6PllRnQzATeEuBoyfv3z7UdRGqK_uUCu8rJHbI0EYBJuIylOkfoj1WzODYzLugF-WsLiXU9W33eX86uFn3IgC8TB5UcEGd3SJ3C8mFiHg_jZEKbgNItxFUYNrJ0OmnjIDFhcb/s200/Baby-Twins-Crucia-and-Imperio-bellatrix-and-lord-voldemort-12797218-840-600.jpg" width="200" /></a>Today, the thoughts filling my mind and heart are ones of God's amazing creativity. His ways of doing things are so complex and unable to be completely replicated by even the greatest. God loves creativity and originality. He makes each sunrise and sunset different with a unique paintbrush and a wave of His hand. Each snowflake has its own shape that mirrors no other. And from the dawn of time, no two human beings have had the exact same DNA string because of His creative expertise. Even identical twins have different fingerprints.<br />
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Art blesses God and celebrates Him. There is no doubt in my mind that God loves art. I have always had the thought that He blessed people with the ability to dream up things and be creative. So He must have a vested interest in art. But only recently have I really started putting together in my mind just what that means to us as His children. I am realizing that art is more than a creative outflow that some people display more than others. It is a form of celebrated worship that we all partake of every single day. It also is a form of medicine that impacts our own lives.<br />
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We are all touched by something that moves us. No matter where you are at this very moment, your senses are being affected by someone's creativity. It is in the radio music you hear, the art on the wall, the writings that line your bookshelf or fill data space on your e-reader. Art decorates the cut of your clothing style with color and texture. Art is in the billboards, magazines and even the competitive designs of the architectural buildings that line city streets and suburbs. The sleek contour of automobiles take into account the personal artistic preferences of the buyer. Art is the hub and purpose of everything Hollywood. Who hasn't been touched by the adrenaline action of a movie or moved to laughing tears at a comedy scene? When we feel like sitting down to a heart drama film it is because that form of art is touching us and changing us.<br />
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Now there is a thought: <i>Art changes us.</i> It is true. Art does change us. We celebrate it, protect it and desire more of it. I am learning that we do that because artistic creativity is part of God. Anything that is part of God, we actively and subconsciously pursue in our daily lives because we feel and know the difference it makes.<br />
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A thought has begun to grow in me that says artistic creativity not only touches our hearts but can also bring real physical healing to our bodies.<br />
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I have seen it happen and it makes me in awe. A few months ago, a friend of mine was healed of a broken foot simply because he obeyed when he heard God tell him to....stand on a paper drawing of a foot. Does that statement seem far fetched like something more out of a fiction story? I understand. It has taken time for me to wrap my brain around it as well. But real x-rays prove that his foot was broken and then it simply wasn't. Truth be told; it wasn't even an amazing Michelangelo type of drawing. It was a quick sharpie pen stick figure drawing.<br />
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The how and the why must be filling your head right now. The answer to both of those questions is because God celebrates creativity and He likes to do things that bring us surprise. When Jesus caused the two small loaves of bread and 5 fish to feed 5,000 men and their families; He did it that way to give us something to remember and cause our faith to grow. He could have made food appear out of thin air. He could have made their stomachs instantly full without eating a bite. But He didn't. He chose instead to give us a visual that would be equated with the word "impossible" and then change our limited perspective. <br />
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For myself, impossible is a word fading from my personal frame of mind. Back in February I hurt my shoulder and it has been a most constant reminder to me ever since. My precious massage friend worked on it several times and that would gain me a few days of relief but nothing that made real and lasting progress. One of the biggest frustrations for me has been not being able to dance with banners to show God my love. (It is a form of artistic creativity that I have discussed before <a href="http://julesstones.blogspot.com/2010/04/one-and-same.html" target="_blank">here</a>.) With my shoulder damaged, any movement would make tendons and muscle fibers swell and ache as strength and stamina ebbed away. Spinning yards of material in high arcs through the air was most definitely out of the question.<br />
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A couple of weeks ago, I was in the worship part of our church service. I had a banner in my good hand but was growing in frustration with not being able to do what I truly wanted. I grumbled to God, "Papa God I am tired of this. I am grateful to be able to have a flag in my hand but it just isn't the same. I want so much to dance with You. Please encourage me." He answered me by saying I could use two flags as long as I held the orange flag in my left hand.....the damaged side.<br />
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Colors have universal meaning. We all know that green means life. Blue signifies coolness and refreshing. Red is always attributed to heat as well as love. And no matter where you are in the world, white is known for bringing peace and surrender. For me, orange is a sign of courage, fiery strength and pushing through in victory. <br />
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I grabbed my orange flag with delight and partnered it with a rainbow flag which symbolized God's promises fulfilled. All of a sudden moving around was so easy! The huge arcing circles didn't hurt. My muscles didn't cry out from lack of use. I giggled and danced with God and got totally lost in the time. Eventually the song changed and I thought I should use a different significant color appropriate with the song. But when I went to raise the different flag, my arm fell limp at my side. I was shocked. I heard God tenderly say, "My love, it is not the action I seek in your creative expression but the obedient heart behind it. Let Me teach you. Use the orange flag."<br />
I picked up the orange flag again. It was light as a feather and cut through the air with ease as I danced once more.<br />
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Since that day, my shoulder is becoming whole. I have not had the pleasure pampering of a massage nor the aid of any medication. Not even ibuprofen has passed my lips. As each day passes and I give mental and audible thanks for my working shoulder; I am able to move it in ways that I have not been able to do in months. My strength is returning and I can hold well more than a coffee cup now. I don't go pale from the pain of bumping my arm into something as I pass by. My range of motion is becoming equal as I do my morning exercises.<br />
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Did God make my shoulder defective in the first place? Absolutely not. Things happen because we live in a broken world. Could God have instantly healed my shoulder the first day it became hurt? Yes, He could have. Instead, He is creatively teaching me through my artistic passions. He is chiseling away at the word 'impossible' for me and creating a new pattern of thankful joy.<br />
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I am so grateful for His creativity. I love how God loves on us and touches us in our own unique and individual ways.<br />
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I pray in all you do today that you feel His amazing joy bubbling over from the core of your being. I pray that you know you are loved with a fiery passion and you are a wonderful treasure. <br />
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<a href="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-30704453814390961532012-06-01T16:48:00.000-07:002012-06-01T16:48:17.746-07:00Heavenly Feet.......<br />
Here is the second part of my installment.......<br />
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<b>#2 God loves to love on us in different ways.</b><br />
It is such a joy and treasure to be able to recognize God in the many facets of our lives. To say that I see Him in the creation around me is humbling. To voice that I see His love in the lives of my loved ones is inspiring. To hear Him in my deepest thoughts and desires big and small.....well that is a treasure without compare. <br />
My eyes and my heart have witnessed all of these things and I must write them down so time does not misplace them.<br />
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The story that comes to mind today has to do with my feet. Odd I know but hear me out.<br />
I have always been sort of uncomfortable about feet. Why?.....I am clueless. For most of my life, having my feet touched for any reason has been simply nerve wracking. I can count on one hand being brave enough to muster the courage to try out a pedicure. I wrote about one of those liberating experiences <a href="http://julesstones.blogspot.com/2010/10/me-time-and-god-time.html" target="_blank">here</a>. Less than a month after that post, I can remember sitting in a spa chair with my sister-in-law and daughters at my side. We were having a de-stress day and getting ourselves ready for Daddy's funeral. It was one of those times when I was strong for so long and then.....then I just broke.<br />
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That soft gentle touch at my feet was somehow connected to my heart. I sat in that chair and let go. I cried softly as the foot massage seemed to work in tandem with the emotions running up and down my body and out my toes. It was tender medicine. That last week before Daddy passed, I had completely neglected myself as I stayed by his side. I had eaten scarcely a thing and pushed away liquids because I wanted and needed to be by him at all times. Consequently, when Daddy was gone and it was time to care for myself, my body was in sore need of repair. My ankles and feet were so swollen that there was hardly a difference between them and my calves. I had to hold the people around me to walk and could only wear over-sized house shoes until the swelling went down. So that foot massage was very much the perfect picture of God tenderly rubbing new life and love into my heart after pouring out for so long. <br />
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I had not had my feet touched since. It had seemed so sacred a time; a time so woven with the complexity of emotions that I dared not re-visit. But recently I have felt God talking to me about change, about going places in my heart less traveled. I began asking Him in private thoughts if I could once again have that experience. Once I casually asked and noted that it would be fun to have spring colors adorned on my feet. A second time I asked; that time with a bit more pondering of what it would mean. A third time I asked and confessed that I was truly ready to trust and be guided by Him.<br />
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All of my asking was done in secret, but oh how He loves those secrets of confession.<br />
On that 3rd morning of asking, a dear treasured friend came over to give me a massage. (How spoiled I am to have a friend that comes complete with licensed smarts and a real massage table in her van!) She erected her table in my dining room and set the soft music playing. But before I could climb up on the table she said, "God says we have to do something else first. I don't know what He has planned but when I was unpacking a few minutes ago He told me that you get to have a foot massage today." Then she set about doing what she does best which is selflessly demonstrating God's love with complete humility.<br />
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What was designed to be a 30 minute pampering session turned out to be 90 minutes of time so special that it far exceeded my previous encounter from 2 years ago. The combination of soft aromatic scented lotions and essential oils along with the gentle touch of warm water, massage and steamed towels made me melt and ignore the world around me. Not even the bark of my over protective dogs alerting me that a leaf blew by the window could distract me from the attention of God's loving peace. I felt so safe, so protected, so very cherished. I couldn't hear the music or feel the couch beneath me. I tried to open my mouth and share how I felt but not a single muscle would respond......I could do nothing but BE.......<br />
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It was a time where time stopped. In that span, God hugged me, celebrated His design and gave me a peek at tomorrow. For the first time I can ever consciously remember, I have no fear of who I am or how I measure up. I had always held myself to a rule of standard and a hat to wear.....a hat for every occasion and responsibility. I have been WIFE, DAUGHTER, MOTHER, SISTER, GRAND DAUGHTER, NIECE, COUSIN, AUNTIE, FRIEND, NEIGHBOR, ROLE MODEL, etc. <br />
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But how do I do ME? The time is changing and that dusty ME hat in the corner isn't to be ignored anymore. My fears had been: What if I don't do it right? What if I fail? What if I get it wrong? Those questions had always over powered my ME hat. It was way easier to hide under all the other hats that had uniformity and guidelines to them than to wear a hat so uniquely individual that it looks like no other. <br />
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Logically, mentally, intellectually.......I have known the answers to those questions. But my heart never owned them.....until that day; until that time; until that encounter.<br />
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Now I feel an indescribable ease and newness. There is excitement in the air that is pulsing all around me. I wake up in the morning with a feeling that no longer says, <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>"You are so good God. I am sorry I hold You back."</i> </span><br />
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Instead, I hear my heart resound, <i><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">"What is Your desire today God and I will celebrate it all with You and through You because I trust You!"</span> </i><br />
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<a href="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6529740212643766428.post-65545212860543750282012-05-31T00:57:00.000-07:002012-06-03T10:12:16.072-07:00Love Is In The Air....<br />
I am in a quandary......<br />
I keep making notes and starting posts on things I want to share and then I get side tracked and don't finish. What is a girl to do?<br />
I think instead of entertaining that feeling of being chased by the cue ball to finish.......I should write down my most recent thoughts and then back track later on.<br />
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So what are the most recent thoughts rolling around in my head? Get ready because they are about to come from all directions. This post will be the first installment of sharing it all.<br />
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<b>#1 I think I love my husband.</b><br />
Isn't that random? Let me explain. I have always loved him actually. But as can often happen with raising a family, connecting on mutual grounds in between the demands of daily life, family, work, school and other responsibilities; well it can be hard to find that common ground. Communication skills become a vital necessity that is all too easily over looked. Then one day you look at one another and realize you are living with a stranger.<br />
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Those things that were once cute or easy to ignore are now huge annoyances that feel as large as the Berlin Wall. The way he says he will clean up the carport and then time goes by on the forgotten job or the way she insists on that hated broccoli as a dinner vegetable. They aren't deal breakers on their own to say the least. But they get under your skin over time and seem to develop camp fires of their own.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnk1klTy-qBCmGM93SArkyqgMKMHQnYglLMyPgS1mNdeRlvMlaVK0ejnfRWLHKDdypy3TPq96ObWPTrbEx42kCJWYnZSkLrFuIa194JplutTMP9p9VvHddOVOuh339UAp6eLq3dTdzw1TM/s1600/Elephant_in_room.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnk1klTy-qBCmGM93SArkyqgMKMHQnYglLMyPgS1mNdeRlvMlaVK0ejnfRWLHKDdypy3TPq96ObWPTrbEx42kCJWYnZSkLrFuIa194JplutTMP9p9VvHddOVOuh339UAp6eLq3dTdzw1TM/s200/Elephant_in_room.jpg" width="200" /></a>We had both felt it time and again and ventured to discuss the <i>'elephant in the middle of the room'</i> a few times but let's face it....conflict is never easy. It seems so much more comfortable to ignore it and pretend everything is fine. As if problems would get bored like a fly and simply buzz off.<br />
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And seeking help.....well that is a huge can of worms! To get help you have to first <u>both</u> admit that there are things that need fixing. Then that help has a strong possibility of looking like pride, shame, ridicule and condemnation. That is certainly no fun at all.<br />
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However, recently we started a marriage seminar with a group of friends and we are having a blast. The seminar is called <a href="http://www.laughyourway.com/" target="_blank">Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage</a>. It actually celebrates our differences and poses the idea that everyone and every marriage has problems to work through. Shocking I know! Instead of going through a private black list of all the ways we have become defective together; we get to laugh and have fun recognizing both our differences and strengths. It ends up feeling much like the belly aching fun of a <a href="http://www.billcosby.com/" target="_blank">Bill Cosby</a> comedy show.<br />
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Already we are both feeling relaxed and united in ways we have sorely missed for way too long. We are finding fun in the mutual territory of communication and our homework discussions are a platform of open honesty. I have to be completely transparent here and say this is the first time we have been able to talk about things without getting defensive. Our conversations have been eye opening but as we look at one another we are both embracing the honor and maturity of being able to say, "I never realized that. Thank you so much for explaining that to me."<br />
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Last night as we talked out a section of homework on marital stereotypes, my husband said the most amazing thing to me that made me break and cry. He said that typically guys at his work will stand around and say things about their wives and it is almost something of a complaining competition titled Which Guy Is Most Deserving Of Being At Work And Away From His Nagging Wife. My husband said that many times he has recognized that he has felt bad because as the guys go in a circle complaining HE can't think of anything to contribute!<br />
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That was it! That was the statement that broke me. Me: the girl that is so quick to hold myself under a microscope of analyzing. I have often held back and worried about my words for fear of being that nagging annoying drip of water that Proverbs 19 speaks of. It was better medicine that a hundred hugs or 5 dozen surprise roses. Tears spilled all over our workbook and bless his heart......he thought he said something that hurt me.<br />
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My goodness. After 23 years of marriage and our children becoming adults, we just might be able to look forward to this next stage of life together. We are not the young naive people we once were that thought, "All we need is love". Now we can become those mature and experienced people that say, "We are what we are and will carry each other through it because of love".<br />
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<i>Thank You God for creating the unity of marriage. Thank You for wielding Your character traits into us to make us compliment and lean on each other.</i><br />
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<a href="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/304/44D8A29F47AD3070BA8C47D119F57DAD.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Jules~http://www.blogger.com/profile/13732679095832415575noreply@blogger.com1