Signal, Mirror, Mirror, Shoulder....

A milestone has been hit in our home. Last week, "Pippin" passed her drivers permit test. I don't know what the rules are in other states or even abroad so let me explain what this really means. For the next 6 months to 2 years she can practice driving a car and learning all types of road handling experiences.........as long as she has a licensed adult with her.

The Oregon DMV laws state that a teen can receive their permit at the ripe age of 15 years old. She will be 17 in just two short weeks so some would say that we are lagging behind with the times. It doesn't matter to me. She didn't want it until now because it represented more of a rush to grow up and she wasn't ready to do that.

I could be wrong, but I think it's a bit different teaching a girl to drive. When my boys were of age to receive their learners permit and subsequent license, I let them drive right out of the parking lot. Crazy huh? Honestly, because they both tinkered with engines and such from their very early days, they were ready for the road when the time came. My instruction was just a formality. My sweet girl handled things very differently though and I knew that without at least a few days of practice in a parking lot....it would simply never work.

That is just what we did. I started her out in a barren parking lot where she could get familiar with the art of brakes, steering, accelerator, and turn signals. Harnessing and controlling the power of a V6 engine was a daunting task for her but one she was willing to conquer. We turned every ending isle into a mock intersection as she practiced weaving up and down thru imaginary traffic. The next day she graduated to a half full lot and I made her drive where cars were pulling in and out and pedestrians were walking around. She was scared at first but swallowed and did it. She did so well that yesterday she moved out onto the local roads. The title of this post has become our chanting motto as she goes down the road and I have her practicing lane changes when no one is around.

I must say she is doing very well. She is aware that a lot of responsibility rests in her hands and is taking every bit of my advice to heart. Tomorrow I am taking her to Cannon Beach for a 2 week stay. She wants to drive part of the time but I am not so sure about that just yet.
Here is what is really funny. My "Rosie-girl", who will be 15 in October, is already studying for her test. She wants it bad. The time might come very soon when I will have two permitted learners to teach at the same time.

I am having fun though. I rather enjoy giving driving lessons. It is a thrill for me to teach them safe rules and watch their confidence build.

Maybe I am Growing Up Too....

My step-daughter and her boyfriend have been in town visiting for the past few days, 6 days total tomorrow when they leave and the longest visit yet for them. It has been a really nice visit with adventures and giggling. It wasn't always this way though.

When my husband and I married, I was 18 years old and she was 9. By today's modern standards that gap really isn't much of an oddity....but the mental maturity / or lack of provided lumps and bumps along the way. In the beginning, she was struck with admiration and devotion for me. Things were so easy and sublime. She was like my personal cheerleader as I learned the art of being Mom and Wife to a ready made family while attempting to grow up myself. But I noticed a change when her teen years set in. Maybe it was her own way of coping with her parents divorce and being a teenager, maybe it had to do with her dad and I having our own children, maybe it was a bit self inflicted on my part with my own waves of growing up and heart dealings.....but there was a silent defiance that rose up between us. It was a cold and indifferent shoulder presented to me over the next several years that waved in degree through her mid-twenties. Whenever she was visiting, I got the hugs and hellos but felt like an invisible extra in my own home much of the time. I tried to create the atmosphere that was needed to give her and her dad time together along with her new siblings while fighting back my own feelings of being the expendable house help. I never wanted or tried to replace her mom but it was apparent to me and others around me that I was to replace nothing at all. My husband, not realizing the label of his own need to make up for lost time with his first daughter, remained mostly unaware of my struggles.

I would gear up for visits, trying to put my heart on my sleeve with a layer of protective covering for the inevitable. I would try to make myself available just in case but then retreat to my room when hurts got too close. I would counsel myself that me being my husband's most important....until she was around was just part of being a blended family and I knew that before we got married. I ached for that father daughter relationship in my own life and knew how wrong it would be to get in the middle of it. As time went on, I could tell that the small armor I used was getting bigger and bigger. I stopped trying to arrange visits for her to see my family that live just a few miles away because it hurt to wait for her to decide to remember to hug them hello or even say good bye. I stopped making my schedule clear for her visits. My life went on and if I had a free hour or two here and there....well that was okay. They had fun with or without me anyway.

Now she is 28 years old and the past couple of years are showing to be heart felt changes for her. Maybe it is called being an adult, maybe it is life for her with this nice young man, maybe she and I both are at places in our lives where we are silently dealing with instead of running from our feelings. Whatever the reasons, I am so grateful for this new season.

She gave me a rare glimpse into her heart that I have not been privy to in many years recently and it made me cry. We were sitting down to dinner, a dinner that she had virtually put together on her own with only my verbal direction as I was running out to help my hubby with an errand, and her eyes got glassy red. Her dad asked if her allergies were kicking in again and she replied with a smile and said she was fine......then quietly excused herself to the restroom. When I tapped on the door, she let me in as cool sink water dripped from her flushed face. She could barely look at me as she whispered, "I am sorry. I just really want you guys to approve of "J" and things don't always go the way I think they should and I worry that you will never really like him."

Wow....I was stunned. In the short seconds that followed before my response I saw a new world, a world thru her eyes. Nothing had happened. We had all been getting along wonderfully. But she had been keeping herself in pressure all this time...wanting the acceptance that all daughters crave. As she walked through our home with each visit with outward confidence and assurance, she hid her insecurities inside under armor just like me.

I hugged her and held her, a bit too long for her comfort as she gently tried to pull away a couple of times. But I couldn't let go. I wanted my love and acceptance to flow through me to her, imparting confidence and security. My words told her that we are always grateful for her visits, their visits, and he is the best guy ever. Not only does he make her happy but he is a man of good character and her dad looks at him like gold. She thanked me, smiled, and then the moment was over. It was time to clean up and make like nothing happened or people would wonder. We went back to the table and enjoyed our dinner and everyone took their turn at jokes and silly stories.

I am so grateful for changing seasons. God says everything has a season, we just don't know the time table. But when I am discouraged, I must rest assured that everything has a season of change. It is how the people around me grow....it is how I grow.

God's Strength....

I am headed out the door for church and teaching Sunday School. It is a full day today and I love it all. But before I leave, I wanted to share this photo that I snapped yesterday while taking the youth group out on an all day hike.

Since I have never had any photography classes, most often what my brain and eyes see and have in mind is not what comes through the lens when I take a picture. But this particular shot I think had just the opposite effect.

We were at Punchbowl Falls enjoying the day yesterday. A few of the guys had taken a big log and laid it across the rushing waters. As I was walking across, I stopped in the middle completely mesmerized by the contrast of the power of the water and the texture of the wood. It reminded me of God's constant strength in the middle of life's ups and downs.

What does it do for you?

Strike - Gutter - Spare - Bounce....

Over the weekend my step daughter and her beau have been in town visiting. It has been so nice and wonderful to have them around. Amongst our many activities, we went bowling one night. Okay, I am not athletic and my hand eye coordination always makes for a good group laugh, but I have fun trying. I haven't bowled since way before I had my eyes adjusted about 8 years ago. Yes I am pulling that card instead of the idea that I have never been a good bowler and have bowled maybe 10 times in my whole life.
(memory jogger or general info for new readers: On two separate occasions in my life I have had eye surgery on both eyes to cut, shorten, lengthen, and re-position the muscles attached to my eyes. It has alleviated lazy eyes, focus issues, muscles spasms, and charlie horse type pains. Consequently my brain sees a bit different and has to be ....ummm.....caliberated.)



It took three games before I started to get the hang of my brain and eyes to work together on the idea of what is a straight line. It was so much fun. My first game I bowled a 57. Yahoo! Jump up and down. My second game I bowled an 81. Things started looking up then. My last game I bowled a 99 and even got a strike in the 10th frame.

My hubby, who always seems to have a natural knack for anything he sets his mind to, had no problems getting 3 and 4 strikes in a row. So the scene for the first half of the evening would be him bowling a strike and then coming over to me to line me up and point me straight with effort and ease.

Maybe if I actually practiced at the bowling alley...across the street from my house.....I could raise my scores.

Me and Crazy Eights...

I have been group tagged by Joni for a Crazy Eights Meme. It was my choice to play or not. The more I thought and struggled with what my answers would be, the more I decided I needed to play just to stretch myself a bit. History type questions about me are always an easy cinch to answer because it has happened already. But questions about future events always make me stumble and feel unsure about myself.

So here I go.....and feel free to play along if you would like. Just let me know if you did or not so that I can follow along with you. It is always fun to learn more about people. (And Joni, I didn't know if the picture went with the meme but I loved the little dragonfly and decided to snatch it up.)

8 Things I Have a Passion For

God

My Family

My Children

God's Beauty

Knowing God More

Photography

Writing

Helping People

8 Things I would Like to do Before I Die

Kayak

Take Photography Classes

Go to Paris

See the Northern Nights

Seriously Take Up Hiking

Learn the Pianoand Take Violin Lessons

Speak Fluent French

See Grandchildren Grow Up

8 Things I Say A Lot

Praise God

No Way (in surprise exclamation)

Are You Serious

Oh My Goodness

That Is So Cool

Okie Dokie

Hey There Sweets

Anytime, Not a Problem

8 Books I Have Read Recently

My Bible

Captivating

Blink of an Eye

Hiking Oregon

Eat This

To Kill a Mocking Bird

A Mid Summer Night's Dream

Weight Watchers Magazine

8 Movies I Have Seen 8 Times

Even though we own tons of movies (no really we do have a lot) I don't think there is any one movie I have actually seen 8 times. Here are ones I have seen several times...

French Kiss

Scoop

Batman Begins

(actually the Scarecrow really scared me and really just about all the comic book heroes can be found in our house)

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Ocean's Eleven (and 12 and 13)

The Italian Job

Runaway Jury

Pride and Prejudice

This BBC version is my favorite but when I want a good spin on things then this version is always good for a laugh and smile.

So there is a little bit more about what makes me tick and I have been officially stretched in my thinking.