By Nature....

By nature, I am not a morning person. Laying snuggled under the covers after a late night of reading or video watching is my preferred mode of habit. But there is something to be said of getting up as the day is waking. The smells of a September morning are so rich an full. The air mingles of leaves turning and the last of the blackberries ripening in their thorny homes. Today as I walked, a thick fog rolled out in a blanket that clung to the butte and it seemed to carry its own aroma; a mixture of moisture and the deep dark soil it covered.

As the seasons change, I am finding change happening in my life as well.
I no longer am caring for my sweet precious niece. Her mama followed a conviction to stay home and they are so happy now. I must admit, though I love being around that little girl, God met me with my own conviction that I was trying to help them with my strength and will instead of His. There I was trying to be the all in all for someone else in my own strength and determination but then refusing to listen when I would lament to God that the time for my own desires had disappeared.  It does indeed make for a picture easily solved as a spectator but so complex as a participant.

So, this week I have found myself pulling in and re-examining my wants and dreams. I don't feel like the walls are threatening to close in on me anymore.
I have begun to take walks again. That makes the fuzzy boys very happy as well as the benefits of loosening up the joints of this body that doesn't feel as young as my mind intends it to be.
I am thinking about my food choices and using my juicer every day instead of wishing someone else could make choices for me.
My cello doesn't have dust on it any longer and its song is becoming more melodic as the screeching scratches disappear.

Moments have presented themselves this week where I have thought to say in different situations, "sure I can do that" or "let me take care of that for you". But then I feel an imagined slap on my wrist, a tsk tsk in the air and a breath of calming hush come over my spirit.

Thank You God that seasons change. 
Thank You that You are patient and ever so loving in Your unending grace and peace.

God bless you richly today in all that you do.

Acts of Kindness....

Maybe 3 months ago I spent an evening talking with the youth group about perceptions and how they instinctively happen. It is not that we set out to make a conscious decision to judge people. It is just that with every action and attitude we see someone display it subconsciously gives us a glimpse into their persona. The things they say and don't say; do and don't do; how they choose to wear their anger, frustration, grace, happiness, greed, or patience.....it tells us something about their character that we aren't even aware of picking up on and cataloging in our mental database.

I was reminded of that today.

Truthfully I don't always think of others. I am human and there are times when I just want to do my things and ignore the world. Those are the days when I feel consumed by my own wants and needs and figure someone else should take a turn at being nice.

But today was different.

I wasn't thinking when I left home with my errands and grocery list that today was the eve of Thanksgiving. The traffic and busy people soon got me to realize it and so I made a conscious decision to be nice and enjoy the day.

At the grocery store I pushed my cart around and smiled making eye contact with each person in the isle. I picked up dropped items for people who had rushed in for those quick things that wouldn't balance right in their arms. I played with small children to persuade them that running errands can be a fun thing to do.

Then I ran into a sweet friend from Romania and her 2 grandsons who are students in my church class. We all hugged and joked for a few minutes about the busyness of the day and then exchanged secrets on the best purchase deals of the week.

After we said goodbye, the gal who had been stocking shelves nearby came up to me and said with an air of awe, "Do you know her well?" I smiled and said yes but it didn't seem like a good enough answer for her as she stood there just staring at me. So I explained that we go to the same church.

That obviously satisfied her because a vault of statements came forth from her.

"That is wonderful."

"Church is a nice place to be."

"I've been thinking about going to church again."

"Too bad I have to work."

"At least tomorrow will be quiet."

"We used to try and go do the holidays with my husband's folks but it didn't work well."

"So stressful it was."

"Tomorrow we are staying home and not going anywhere no matter what."

"How about you?"

"It sure is crazy here."

"I can't believe all the people."

"You seem great though."

After smiles and conversation we parted and I finished my shopping. But as my husband bagged groceries and I paid for everything, she appeared again with comments and conversation. Again she proclaimed that she was staying home for the holiday and nothing would make her leave home at all.

With a sudden rush of emotion she grabbed me and gave me an endearing hug. She looked at my husband and told him I was a sweet special angel and he had better take good care of me. Hubby agreed as we smiled and walked to the exit.

In the parking lot he leaned over and said, "Who was that and where do you know her from?"

"I have no idea", I replied. "We just started talking in the store today."

He hugged me big and kissed my cheek.

So aside from the idea that this story makes my cheek blush with heat.....it brings me back to the importance of taking time for people. I don't mean that we have to become best friends for the next 50 years with each person we meet. I do mean that a smile or kind word can mean the world to someone.

I don't know what exactly I did today that impacted this person but I do know that somehow I changed her world for the better and she finished her day with a lighter heart.

It really is easy and infectious to touch others lives. I just wanted to encourage you in that today.

It's Like a Movie...

Today was one of those days that made for interesting watching. You know what I mean....you live your day but view it like you are standing next to yourself....watching it play out like a movie.

We have gone to this professional for years, partly because of the quality of service and partly because I have always felt it my mission to minister to him and show him the REAL JESUS that his sincere religion does not reveal. Both he and his assistant came out at different times to the waiting room where I sat and asked me to be praying for thier personal issues.
She didn't divulge detailed information, but instead took it from the stance that if I pray...God will fill in the blanks.
He didn't really ask for prayer per-say. Instead he talked to me about the current status of his son. Sadly, over the last year his youngest son (age 24) has excelled in a life of compulsively destroying himself. He has always had a drive to achieve and excel to perfection in everything he does, so he has pushed himself greatly in a life of prescription meds and alcohol. He said that currently his son is in his third rehab center and hopes this time will take effect. If not and he kills himself, well he knows he did all he could as a parent. Then he smiled and stated that all of this has caused his wife to learn to deal with stress better. So he figures that even if his son dies, at least having his wife cope with her emotions better is a definate up swing.

Could it really be that easy for him to let go?
Or is he talking himself into a way of thinking? I know I do that on a daily basis.....speak positive out loud so that "myself" can hear it. Then pretty soon I believe it.
All the same, no matter which, I wil lbe praying for that situation too.

Other things that happened in my personal cinema:

I watched as the huge truck backed up in the parking lot...all the way into the rear end of the car next to me. They must have had their stereo turned up becasue they didn't hear my horn blowing as they drove away. I wrote down the license number of the truck and put it in the windshield of the car. I guess in retrospect, I should have left my name and number as well incase the truck person denies it. oops.....

I looked over into the parking lot of the shabby motel and noticed the man standing by the car. He had purpose and determination in his stance as he bent over and plunged the screwdriver into the front tire. He stood up to watch the tire deflate. There was satisfaction but not happiness in his face.
Who was he and why did he do that? He wasn't scared of anyone seeing him or his deed in that lot on Sandy Blvd. Was he just wanting to not go to work today and couldn't lie about having a flat tire? Or was he the motel manager determined that Joe wasn't going to leave again without paying this week's rent?

She bounded up to me at the meeting and said with a smile, "well what did you think of my email?"
Oh the wave of revelation that went over her face as she stated, "Well if YOU didn't get an email from me....then who did I send it to on accident?!"

Perspectives

"Whatever floats his boat I guess."
This came from my 13 year old as we were driving to geography class. She then explained to me that she had seen a guy who appeared to be cutting his grass....with a chainsaw. As comical as that mental picture is in my mind, I wonder, was he in actuality working on a tree stump that was out of the eye view of my daughter, or was he in fact a few marbles shy of a full bag and running on a bowl of frosted flakes?

Perspectives...God made us to be so individual, from the complexities of DNA to the ability to have individual thought. That thought and perspective governs our days good and bad however we choose. It affects us in every way possible.

Is the light barely yellow or practicaly red?

Is the flower wilting away or showing one more day of beauty and splendor?

Either way, it is a choice that we make.

My foster son is a prime example of that choice. Raised in severe hardship and having poor role models that were and still are given to addictions on a continual basis, he has a choice to make. He has a world of opportunities that lay at his feet begging to be picked up and used. And yet, the familiar is such a draw and pull.
He can choose to break the cycle and not wear the neon sign around his neck that screams helpless victim.
What will he choose?

Perspectives and choices....they go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other.

So today, I choose to be thankful for breath. I choose to have the perspective that each moment has purpose and meaning.
I choose.