They Are Engaged!....

From the beginning of their relationship, they both laid the ground rules that neither were looking for a hang out buddy. Neither wanted to invest their hearts into a relationship that would spiral into a 'burn out waste of time' just for the sake of not being single. For the last year they have supported and encouraged one another as they live their daily lives and talk frankly about their future. Even still; she had no idea when she suggested they spend a beautiful Saturday at the beach that he had a surprise up his sleeve.


For us, one evening in the end of May while she was still at work, The Poet came over and had 'the talk' with my husband. We have been bursting with excitement ever since as we give each other knowing glances and adjust to the idea that our precious baby girl is no longer a lil' girl.  

God reminded me of something a couple of weeks ago that made me catch my breath. He put a scene in my mind of the first conversation I ever had with The Poet. I introduced myself to him at church and was enjoying getting to know him. Our conversation revolved around his passions of God, job and school. As I stood there talking and listening, in my head I said, "Papa God, this guy is amazing. There is a wealth of gold in him that You are fashioning." 
God replied, "Yes I know there is. I made him that way and brought him here for her (He named my daughter)".
My instant thought was that I must have heard wrong. At that time, The Poet had an idea he might be moving to Florida for school and I had never pictured my daughter moving to Florida.....so I must have heard wrong. Besides, she was planning to be single for a long time since her dreamy check list she wrote and prayed over for a future husband had very specific criteria.
So I dismissed that mental conversation as something I heard wrong and never gave it another thought......until now.

Breathe....

 My breathing and saving thought right now.......

Today is a new day. And in that is hope, joy, peace, grace and a fresh spiritual atmosphere because God is always doing something even when we can't put our finger on it.

Thank You God. Oh how we need You.

Don't Partner With a Negative Suggestion......

Last week I had a doctor appointment that caused me to derail my thinking for a time. It was a routine appointment that didn't take long at all. The doctor and I shared pleasantries and regular medical conversation about why I was there. There were statements like, "Women in your age bracket....." and "Only needing certain tests......"
Then as my formal examination commenced she said, "Actually ummm.... I am going to change my mind. Let's do this other test."

She made a point of telling me that the test results would say negative and it was no big deal. I smiled, agreed and laughed it off until she left the room. Then against better judgement I crumbled. My brain kept thinking, "Why would she change her mind? What did she see?" The word WHY was playing on a ticker tape in my brain and spinning in circles. I could have had the presence of mind to ask her......but I never did. I mentally chided myself for being so quick to jump to a partially suggested conclusion and told that 'me' to grow up.


But as the next couple of days elapsed, I found myself distracted and lost in imagined scenarios. WHY became replaced by WHAT IF as my mind created scenes of how life would be different. My husband, my girls, my mom, different milestones that are on the horizon for us......they were all tied together. Mingled in with those picture clips were scenes of 2 years ago when I cared for Daddy through his cancer battle.
Seemingly against my own will and rational thought, my days became a fog and then arrested by the WHAT IFs. I even had a couple of times where I thought I might hyperventilate as I tried to get a hold of myself. A small voice in my head kept saying, "Reach out for help. Don't battle these thoughts alone. You are not alone." 

Finally, I took opportunity to tell my husband and that is when things changed for me. I told him how my fears and assumptions had developed monsters of their own. I even confessed to the crazy truth that I had googled images and information on my laptop of key words I heard during my appointment. As we talked and prayed, those monsters became less intimidating and my shoulders felt lighter.

Yesterday the test results came in the mail. The results were "normal" just like I was told they would be. You want to know what is funny? My thoughts had changed so much after confessing, praying and partnering in accountability with my husband that I almost forgot to open the envelope. I wasn't worried at all.


Thoughts can be a tricky thing. They are constantly in motion. We hear statements all the time that speak to the power of our thoughts:

I couldn't help myself.

It makes me so angry (sad, frustrated, hurt).

It is all I think about.

I don't know. It just came out of my mouth.

Our thoughts carry strength and power but they do not have to control our lives in a negative way. We have the awesome ability to CHOOSE what we dwell on. Sure, things will always pop into our thoughts. But God gives us the privilege of being able to weigh them out and choose what we give our time and energy to.

"We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)

This scripture clearly says that we can change our thoughts. If we can make our thoughts "obedient to Christ" as it says, then that means that the anger, fear, shame and out-of-control thoughts don't have to have power. 

Now that doesn't mean we run around with our fingers in our ears and quote Bob by saying over and over, "I feel fine....I feel great.....I feel wonderful." There is a time for deep thoughts and weighing heavy things. But even deep thoughts don't have to have the privilege of consuming us.

We have opportunity to evaluate, measure and change our thoughts. We can look at each thought and say:

Is this a truth thought?

Is this worth spending my time and energy on?

What should I be thinking on?

It was an important lesson for me to learn right now.

Currently my Nana is in a rehabilitation center working on gaining strength in her back after a fall. The combination of seeing my Nana becoming more frail, watching her wrestle with a bit of confusion and memory loss, witnessing my mom handle so much as her daughter and care-giver (a feeling I remember so well).....I have to confess to flashing back to all of the feelings and situations I found myself in with caring for Daddy.  

This small situation with learning not to let my emotions partner with panic from a single comment at my doctor appointment is so perfect for helping me to bring into alignment this bigger time frame as well. I get to choose to make my morning visits with Nana be just about her and me. I get to choose to enjoy instead of feeling sad. I have the joy of choosing what to dwell on.

Thank You God for Your gift of choice. Thank You that You give us the ability to not be subjected to whatever whim that passes through our brains. Thank you that you give us the strength to look and grasp what is right and true. Thank You for making each day new and fresh, full of hope, joy and purpose.

Sudden Opportunity.....

I have much in my head that I still have yet to put words to on my keyboard. But for the moment, I really want to share the opportunity we had yesterday.

My husband was blessed with a day off of work. It is not often that he is able to take time off so he and I planned to enjoy fully. We decided to spend the day together doing  our favorite hobby: hiking and enjoying the amazing Columbia Gorge. A treasured place we like to hike is Eagle Creek Trail just outside of Cascade Locks.  It is a slightly more advanced hiking trail as the elevation really climbs in a couple of areas. Also there are 2 spots where the path is cut into a cliff face and there are cables anchored into the wall to hold to for safety. (If you scroll through this old post, you can see a picture of such an area) It turned out to be beautiful mild weather. With food and water in out pack, we spent a handful of hours breathing in the beauty of the area.


Late in the afternoon as we were headed back down, we met a woman hiking up with her 2 large dogs. I can't be positive but as I look back on the events I want to say we met up at that very same spot I had taken a picture of so many years ago. As always, I had fun petting the 'fuzzy children' and making quick friends. Then we said our farewells and continued on. Not more than 25 paces into our decent, we heard the woman scream and yell for her husky dog. Bohdee was gone! I heard the horrid crashing of her malamute falling 150 feet to the bottom of the cliff and then there was no sound at all. The woman was panicked. We locked eyes and she begged for help. She passed me the lead of her other dog and then threw off her pack and looked around to see if there was a way she could scale down the rock face. My husband convinced her to head down towards the river to look for a path while he headed back up top to see if there was an alternate way down. I followed her to make sure she kept safe.

After rounding a few corners we came upon our first person and he was a God-send. His name was Josiah and at a quick glance I could tell he was a level headed MacGyver sort of person that God had put in that spot for a special purpose. Josiah instantly gave up his camping hike and broke off the path into the forest with Amanda while I ran a good mile and a half to find a phone number for the forestry department. Everyone I spoke with was so wonderfully understanding and within 90 minutes a volunteer search and rescue team called Crag Rats was activated and on site.

It did not take long for Bohdee to be found and he was alive! Isn't that amazing? He appeared to have several broken bones in his hips and ribs but his eyes were alert. The forest was too dense to carry him out from the river floor so the rescue team set together a belay system and brought him back up to the path while strapped to an immobilizing cage board. 6 hours after Bohdee's fall everyone was safely in the parking lot.

My husband and I were worn out but spent the drive home talking about all the things God did through the whole event. After washing with tecnu to break off any hints of poison oak, we crashed into our bed and slept solid.

God is so amazing how He plans and provides!
*We were the only ones in that particular area on the path when Bohdee fell. Had Amanda been completely alone what would have happened?
*Bohdee was not on a lead at that moment. If he had been, would his 105 pound frame have pulled Amanda over as well?
*My husband was incredible in his calm thinking and action.
*As I was headed down the path for help, I came upon friends. 30 miles from home and I run into people I know? They activated a phone prayer chain for everyone's safety.
*The Crag Rat volunteers were so amazing to come even though it was getting dark. Their compassion was so vital. I knew no matter how Amanda found Bohdee, she was not going to leave the forest without he dog.

Tired and sore but so grateful for the way everything ended up.

Post note: Here is the news feed about the event. (The guy in the yellow shirt is my hubby.)  We have recently heard that Bohdee had 5 hours of surgery last night to repair a broken pelvis and punctured lung and might be able to be home this weekend.

Thank You God for Your presence always being around us.

Artistic Creativity.....

Today, the thoughts filling my mind and heart are ones of God's amazing creativity. His ways of doing things are so complex and unable to be completely replicated by even the greatest. God loves creativity and originality. He makes each sunrise and sunset different with a unique paintbrush and a wave of His hand. Each snowflake has its own shape that mirrors no other. And from the dawn of time, no two human beings have had the exact same DNA string because of His creative expertise. Even identical twins have different fingerprints.

Art blesses God and celebrates Him. There is no doubt in my mind that God loves art. I have always had the thought that He blessed people with the ability to dream up things and be creative. So He must have a vested interest in art. But only recently have I really started putting together in my mind just what that means to us as His children. I am realizing that art is more than a creative outflow that some people display more than others. It is a form of celebrated worship that we all partake of every single day. It also is a form of medicine that impacts our own lives.

We are all touched by something that moves us. No matter where you are at this very moment, your senses are being affected by someone's creativity. It is in the radio music you hear, the art on the wall, the writings that line your bookshelf or fill data space on your e-reader. Art decorates the cut of your clothing style with color and texture. Art is in the billboards, magazines and even the competitive designs of the architectural buildings that line city streets and suburbs. The sleek contour of automobiles take into account the personal artistic preferences of the buyer. Art is the hub and purpose of everything Hollywood. Who hasn't been touched by the adrenaline action of a movie or moved to laughing tears at a comedy scene? When we feel like sitting down to a heart drama film it is because that form of art is touching us and changing us.

Now there is a thought: Art changes us. It is true. Art does change us. We celebrate it, protect it and desire more of it. I am learning that we do that because artistic creativity is part of God. Anything that is part of God, we actively and subconsciously pursue in our daily lives because we feel and know the difference it makes.

A thought has begun to grow in me that says artistic creativity not only touches our hearts but can also bring real physical healing to our bodies.

I have seen it happen and it makes me in awe. A few months ago, a friend of mine was healed of a broken foot simply because he obeyed when he heard God tell him to....stand on a paper drawing of a foot. Does that statement seem far fetched like something more out of a fiction story? I understand. It has taken time for me to wrap my brain around it as well. But real x-rays prove that his foot was broken and then it simply wasn't. Truth be told; it wasn't even an amazing Michelangelo type of drawing. It was a quick sharpie pen stick figure drawing.

The how and the why must be filling your head right now. The answer to both of those questions is because God celebrates creativity and He likes to do things that bring us surprise. When Jesus caused the two small loaves of bread and 5 fish to feed 5,000 men and their families; He did it that way to give us something to remember and cause our faith to grow. He could have made food appear out of thin air. He could have made their stomachs instantly full without eating a bite. But He didn't. He chose instead to give us a visual that would be equated with the word "impossible" and then change our limited perspective.  

For myself, impossible is a word fading from my personal frame of mind. Back in February I hurt my shoulder and it has been a most constant reminder to me ever since. My precious massage friend worked on it several times and that would gain me a few days of relief but nothing that made real and lasting progress. One of the biggest frustrations for me has been not being able to dance with banners to show God my love. (It is a form of artistic creativity that I have discussed before here.) With my shoulder damaged, any movement would make tendons and muscle fibers swell and ache as strength and stamina ebbed away. Spinning yards of material in high arcs through the air was most definitely out of the question.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the worship part of our church service. I had a banner in my good hand but was growing in frustration with not being able to do what I truly wanted. I grumbled to God, "Papa God I am tired of this. I am grateful to be able to have a flag in my hand but it just isn't the same. I want so much to dance with You. Please encourage me." He answered me by saying I could use two flags as long as I held the orange flag in my left hand.....the damaged side.

Colors have universal meaning. We all know that green means life. Blue signifies coolness and refreshing. Red is always attributed to heat as well as love. And no matter where you are in the world, white is known for bringing peace and surrender. For me, orange is a sign of courage, fiery strength and pushing through in victory.

I grabbed my orange flag with delight and partnered it with a rainbow flag which symbolized God's promises fulfilled. All of a sudden moving around was so easy! The huge arcing circles didn't hurt. My muscles didn't cry out from lack of use. I giggled and danced with God and got totally lost in the time. Eventually the song changed and I thought I should use a different significant color appropriate with the song. But when I went to raise the different flag, my arm fell limp at my side. I was shocked. I heard God tenderly say, "My love, it is not the action I seek in your creative expression but the obedient heart behind it. Let Me teach you. Use the orange flag."
I picked up the orange flag again. It was light as a feather and cut through the air with ease as I danced once more.

Since that day, my shoulder is becoming whole. I have not had the pleasure pampering of a massage nor the aid of any medication. Not even ibuprofen has passed my lips. As each day passes and I give mental and audible thanks for my working shoulder; I am able to move it in ways that I have not been able to do in months.  My strength is returning and I can hold well more than a coffee cup now. I don't go pale from the pain of bumping my arm into something as I pass by. My range of motion is becoming equal as I do my morning exercises.

Did God make my shoulder defective in the first place? Absolutely not. Things happen because we live in a broken world. Could God have instantly healed my shoulder the first day it became hurt? Yes, He could have. Instead, He is creatively teaching me through my artistic passions. He is chiseling away at the word 'impossible' for me and creating a new pattern of thankful joy.

I am so grateful for His creativity. I love how God loves on us and touches us in our own unique and individual ways.

I pray in all you do today that you feel His amazing joy bubbling over from the core of your being. I pray that you know you are loved with a fiery passion and you are a wonderful treasure.