The MP3 Player....

The past week here has been rain and shades of grey constantly. I was most acutely aware of it one morning while driving Puddin' to school. Though it was only 8:30 in the morning the grey canopy of sky was deep. It was the kind of dark that makes one want to hide under blankets and ignore the world. Despite the heaviness that those clouds warned of, the light of the sun seemed to burn right through and find victory in creating patches here and there of liquid gold.

As I was driving, I smiled. I smiled because the sky around me very much reflected what has been going on in my heart. In the midst of groceries, laundry, youth events, and social engagements....my dad is always on my mind. I feel that heavy burden of what if trying to creep in and grip me. And yet, I also feel that liquid gold coursing through the fibers of my being. God whispering the truths that I must pay attention to.

It is your job to pray........it is My job to perform My will.
It is your job to trust........it is My job to work all things together for My good.
Don't listen to the world child........listen to Me and rest in My abiding protection.

It is a good feeling.
Thank you God for your guidance and grace.


The doctors have found a second mass on my dad's left kidney. While they are 99% certain that it is of a different cellular structure than what is in his esophagus, they will be performing a biopsy on Friday to determine for certain and plan from there.

My plans are to go and be with him for a bit of time when he begins the chemo and radiation treatments. While I don't have travel dates just yet, I have been thinking here and there in my mind of what to pack, what to buy, and what to arrange.

God and I have been talking back and forth about what kinds of things I will be experiencing on the trip. While Dad is sounding positive, I know there will be times of needing encouragement. He will be having treatments 5 days a week and that is taxing to the hardiest of statures. My step-mom had died a couple of years ago from cancer and so I know in some way that must be looming over Dad and my step-siblings. Most importantly I feel that this will be a time of showing Dad more and more of God's grace, mercy and love.

With all of the preparations, I told God that I would really love to have my own source of reminders around me. How wonderful it would be to take my encouraging music and audios to help me keep my eyes on truth. The only problem was that I cannot afford to go buy an mp3 player.

As soon as I woke up Friday morning, God placed a thought in my head.
"You need to place and ad on Craig's List for an mp3 player."
Hmmm...that was interesting. I fiddle footed around a bit and then did what I was told. I placed an ad in the Wanted section stating the facts as basic as I could. This is me, this is what I need and why I need it. I held back nothing and expressed very definitely that I wanted it so that I could keep Godly encouragement flowing through my mind in the midst of taking care of my dad. Then I asked simply for favor in being thought of, that if someone had an extra player laying around and not in use could they consider my situation.

That same day I heard from a young man who had acquired a player from his friend and had logged online to see if it was worth selling. In the midst of looking at prices he found my ad and wanted to bless me. His one request was if there was a way I could possibly prove my story. I wrote back that it was a reasonable request but I wasn't sure how to prove anything. I don't have tickets yet.........
I decided to send him here to by blog and assured him that he was free to look around anywhere and learn my character.

Goodness if you could have seen me jump up and down when he wrote back that he was pleased and thrilled to be able to help me in this way. He apologized for the size and condition of the player he was offering. 'It is only a 4 gig and has a couple of scratches on it' he wrote. Again I jumped......that was the size I had hoped for.

It turns out we have some common ground. He works in the next town over in his church as a children's teacher. Amazing!
I drove over there this afternoon and met with him. He was so sweet as he explained to me how to use the device and what each of there features are for.
And it is beautiful! I mean, it truly isn't important what it looks like. But it is so sleek and stylish. I feel like it is just another God kiss, a perk.

God is so amazing. He could have made a player materialise in my hands. He could have had me win some sort of drawing. He could have done a million different things. But He chose to orchestrate things in a way that blessings could multiply.

I am blessed to have what I desired.
I get to share what God did over and over again.
That young man must surely feel blessed to be a part of helping someone in need.
I can only imagine that here and there my dad and I may come to his mind and he will pray.
I wonder about the joy he must share with his friends in telling why he stepped out of class to meet with me.
It is an amazing cascade affect.

Thank you God for caring even about the seemingly trivial things on my heart.

Thank you for delighting in making me smile.

Alligator In The Road......

Last Saturday we were with a group of friends coming back from an out of town day trip. It was a church event so we were driving one of the church vehicles and my hubby was tagged to be driver for the large passenger suburban.
That was completely a God guided decision because I don't think that anyone else would have been as fast in the reflexes as he was when the passenger drive tire blew on the freeway while we were going 65mph.


Thankfully, after driving semi-trucks for the last 15 years, Hubby has had lots of experience with tires blowing and how to handle large vehicles.

When the tire blew, it riped off the running board and tore out a secondary hose from the radiator. It could have been a horrible event but it wasn't. All six of us inside were completely unharmed and no other cars were involved as we pulled over on the shoulder.

There was even godly provision in cleaning up. Just the day before, our pastor had decided to buy a couple of gallons of antifreeze to keep in the back of the car for any emergencies that might come up. Also purchased was a container of that orange hand goop for easy grease cleaning as well as a roll of those industrial blue grease towels.

Hubby was able to change the tire, re-attach the hose with a clamp, and fill the radiator. Then we drove home safe and sound. Amazing huh? The suburban was even in good enough shape to do the Sunday morning trailer haul (we rent a building for church and keep all of our things in a huge trailer so that we can set up every Sunday morning).

Goodness, when I think of all the things that could have happened with our non-accident it sets me in awe. The mighty god of the universe that is so big that He can be in all places at all times.....placed His hands around our vehicle and guided us to safety.

Oh Where Can She Be.......

It is now 11pm at night and I am sitting in front of our new computer getting everything set up.

Yes....our NEW computer.

A little over a week ago our computer hard drive crashed. It was an internal hardware issue that had been going on for a while and I was trying to nurse it along. I was successful until it started making rapid fire woodpecker type noises. Some things I was able to back up and others not. A friend of ours thinks he can still get things off of the drive so we will see.

Maybe the thought has crossed your mind as to how we were able to purchase a new tower when we are still working at cutting away our debt. May I share?

Hubby came home on Friday (after we had been a week without a computer) and said, "Guess what? You know how the company has been re-structuring things with pay and such and drivers aren't getting bonuses anymore? Well I just got notice that I am grandfathered into the old group and am getting back pay bonus for the 3 months that they haven't given it to me."

I love that. God delights so much in making things happen. He even cares that I feel the Internet is like a life line to me.

I have much to share from the past couple of weeks and thoughts are swirling in my head.

For now though I should hit the pillows for a fresh day tomorrow.

How grateful I am that I had made that blogger list of who I visit so I can find everyone again.

Where Do I Start........

Hubby had a blast running the Bloomsday. I just received his results. He ran 1:36:33. I think that is great. He can do whatever he sets his mind to and I admire that. I can't imagine myself ever running even a mile.

The wedding we attended last night was absolutely beautiful. We have watched this girl grow up over the years and become an amazing woman. She is so tender hearted and is gifted with a perfect ease as a worship leader. Now she is married to an amazing man who also has an amazing gift and passion for worship. I wonder what God has in store for them.
Here is a cell phone picture that I snapped at their wedding. Everything was so elegant.


When I mentioned being busy last week, one of the things that I didn't bring up was tutoring an old student of mine. I think I didn't bring it up because I was stifling feeling a failure. She was having some algebra anxieties and her parents asked if I could fix the issues. One morning last week she came over with her assignment and we tried to tackle it. I could only wrap my brain around half of it while the other side of me argued internally as to the logic of the math and what in the world this teacher was trying to get across.

Once she left, I fought back those inner voices that taunted me.........
"And you call yourself a teacher."
"Ha, you never got a degree. You barely finished school yourself."
"You failed that girl and you probably scared your girls with all the years you home schooled them as well."

Yeah it was bad.
The mom came to me a couple of days later and said that the teacher couldn't even offer solutions to the problems. He said that all the students had issues with that assignment and he couldn't figure out why it was even in the scope of that algebra planning because it didn't belong there.

But wait, there is more.
The mom insisted on paying me for my time and held out in her hand an absurd amount of money. I tried to refuse it. I said I was just helping my friend, I am not an accredited teacher, it was just a couple of hours.
She said it was the least they could do for all that I have done for them for so long.
Father God thank you for that validation.

I hugged her and cried.
Yes I home schooled their girl for a few years, but I had personal motives. Yes I wanted to see her succeed and be a help to them, but I also knew that having a friend around would be a help to my girls. It was a motivator to know that someone was showing up every morning to do school. It made me more accountable.....and not so boring to them.

And then I had to laugh.
A few days ago I had posted some things on Craig's List to sell and I was frustrated that nothing had been inquired on. We have a few extra expenses this month and I was trying to figure out how to help out. My way wasn't working because God had other plans.

I just had to share that with you.
There are other things to share too but I will do that later this week.
Now it is time for me to go make a bunch of DVDs. Pippin was finally able to finish her sponsor video. I haven't even looked at it. But I feel so bad that she went to Uganda in December and we have yet to send out these thank you videos for her sponsors.

Have a blessed day.

A Week In The Life of Me......

I normally try to look at the positive side of things, I try to see the blessings of the day and be ever so thankful to God for His provisions. I think I succeeded in doing that this past week but I am just feeling a bit tired....laughing about the crazy week.......and grateful that today has been a bit more on the mellow side.

Last week started out, and centered around, the drama of guy and girl liking one another. A dear friend came to Pippin and said, "hey I have to be honest here and let you know I think I like you a bit more that just a friend." Now up to this point, at 17 years of age, Pippin has kept herself unscathed by the dilemmas of teen crushes. It wasn't anything I pushed on her......aside from saying that emotions are complicated enough with having to figure out who God is calling you to be as a young adult. If she would have liked someone sooner than now, I would have been fine with it.

So, he says "I like you."
She says, "I think I might like you too but I don't want to change our friendship."
He says, "What do we do now?"
She says, "Let's ask my mom what to do." Yes I see that blessing.
So I begin 'the counsel'.
But as the week progresses and other things come out in conversations..........well it would be so pointless to go into details and dredge up all the icky. The final consensus between all involved was that they would rather spend more time growing up in God and not getting side tracked with the emotions of being 'twitter-patted'.

The final comment of my daughter, "Sigh....this stinks! I should have known better. I am through with this stuff. I finally let myself like a guy and all it gets me is a bunch of drama.......oh and now I have to buy "Rixxi" a pizza because we had a bet going on who would get a crush first."

Oh how I love my girls. I love looking at things through their eyes. When I was a teen and going through all of the drama of dating.....you could probably find me throwing darts at drawings of the current person that hurt my heart. But no, not my Pippin. She raises her hands in the air in a back and forth pattern and proclaims, "Do Over!" with a smile on her face.

*****

I also spent a few days this week with my mother-in-law who is currently in town and doing the winding traveling of being a snowbird (a northern senior aged person who travels south for the winter, usually in an RV) as she and her hubby head back home to North Dakota. We have played on her computer tweaking things a bit, had a couple of lunches together, gone shopping, and made more plans to come. I so enjoy being with her. I wish they didn't live so far away, but I am grateful that they spend a few weeks here each spring.

*****

And yesterday morning I got my car rear-ended. It was a pointless thing really and I feel so bad about it. I was driving in a residential area looking for an address and happened to be in this gal's blind spot I guess when she was pulling out of her driveway. Can you picture it....neither one of us speeding or even barely going 5 miles an hour and yet the damage to our bumpers is crazy. She suggested that we just let it go because it didn't look bad to either one of us. But Hubby showed me where the rear quarter panel is almost on the muffler and that is not good. So I spent the morning getting estimates for her. She hopes to just pay for my damage and not involve her insurance but I can't imagine she will want to when she hears the conservative $1800 that was quoted to me.


So, let's round out the blessings......
Pippin has a great attitude.
Awful things could have happened in that relationship but they didn't.
She chose to keep me involved all the way and seek my advice.
The joyful memories of being with my in-laws.
The fact that my in-laws are joyful.
The car accident was a piddly thing and no one got hurt.

I'd say that despite having lemons, I succeeded in making lemonade.
Thank you Father God for your love and provision.
I hope your week was well too.

It All Adds Up....

"The joys of paying our taxes..."
Can you imagine anyone saying that? Well we did this year. Check out my story....

As I have mentioned before, we are working hard at becoming debt free. We are doing this by working hand in hand with a non-profit management company. We send them a lump sum of money each month and they divide it up and send it to the places it need to go to. Because of that, most of the time we never open the bills that arrive in our mailbox. They simply end up in a pile on the desk.

So, the other night we were working on our taxes. (Yes, we waited until the last minute.) Hubby was very frustrated at the red number that TurboTax was showing that we owed. I was trying to fix things, because I am a fixer, and we both ended up getting pretty snippy with each other.

Finally my hubby said, "Fine. I will dig through this pile of mail and maybe I can find the information you are needing." About 5 minutes into the digging and envelope opening he said, "Oh my!"

Wanna know what he found?
He found a check for $100 that was issued to us 4 months ago. There was also a statement saying that our account had been paid in full and we over paid so this was our reimbursement.

Wanna know what we owed this year for federal?
The red numbers said $93.
How perfect is that? We had waited till the last minute because we just knew we wouldn't have the money to pay whatever it was that we were going to owe. Little did we know that God had even taken care of that. Knowing us, if we would have seen that check when it first came in the mail 4 months ago, we would have spent it on something else and been in trouble now.

But wait because this is perfect too.
When I figured out our state taxes, it said we were in the green by $46.
We just laughed because I had paid $45 for the TurboTax program.

It all adds up.
I love it when I get to recognize the things that God has laid out in front of us before we even think about it.

God's Provision....

This picture of hubby and I on the California coast was taken a couple of years ago. It was a fun trip and you can read all about it if you go here and scroll half way down. I chose this picture for today simply because with our busy teen raising season we are in at the moment....I don't have many pictures of us together. But all of that isn't even important at the moment because right now I want to simply share about God's Provision.

Hubby is a very hard worker. He is never one for keeping very still (unless there is a fun movie on t.v. that is). As a high school senior way back in the day, he balanced school and three jobs at the same time. Then he made the Air Force a whirlwind of a career, settling into the sort of job that ......well that we could never talk about because it was a secret.

14 Years ago he retired and decided to follow his dad into the world of truck driving. Boy is he good at it. He can back a 73 foot truck and trailer combo into a tight spot faster than you can say "eighteen wheeler". He works for a local long haul family type trucking company and has been with them thru good times and slow times. (What does local long haul mean? It means that he can put up to some 500 miles on his truck in a single day and be home at the end of his shift.) He has built up seniority there and above all else has definitely shown his character.

Why am I telling you this? Well the basic story goes like this.......
With the current economy, as work is getting tight and the demand for product goes down, the company has had to put the drivers on an every other day rotation roster. All the drivers that is except my husband. They have asked him to be part of a new long term project and they changed his pay style. See, for the last 14 years, he has been paid by what he does. That is the way with most trucking establishments. A paycheck will vary each week depending on the loads and mileage that each driver does. It is honest pay for honest work.......but it had made poor hubby have to always compute in his head every day how much he needs to do so that we as a family can live. That can become a pretty stressful way of thinking. Now though, his pay is going to be based off of an hourly salary and guaranteed 55 hours a week.

Do you see God's provision there? For the last 4 years we have been working hard to pay off all of our bills and become debt free. We now have 10 months left to go and we are locked into our plan. If he would have been one chosen to work every other day, oh how quickly we would have spiraled into financial oblivion.
We are so humbled and grateful for God's favor.

I don't mean it to sound like we are jumping up and down in a virtual party here. I know that others are affected in a bad way with this company shift and I do feel for them and have compassion. Do you know what I mean?

(David at Authorblog honored this post with a mention in his post of the day column. I am so glad to be able to share our blessings with everyone.)