God's Provision....

This picture of hubby and I on the California coast was taken a couple of years ago. It was a fun trip and you can read all about it if you go here and scroll half way down. I chose this picture for today simply because with our busy teen raising season we are in at the moment....I don't have many pictures of us together. But all of that isn't even important at the moment because right now I want to simply share about God's Provision.

Hubby is a very hard worker. He is never one for keeping very still (unless there is a fun movie on t.v. that is). As a high school senior way back in the day, he balanced school and three jobs at the same time. Then he made the Air Force a whirlwind of a career, settling into the sort of job that ......well that we could never talk about because it was a secret.

14 Years ago he retired and decided to follow his dad into the world of truck driving. Boy is he good at it. He can back a 73 foot truck and trailer combo into a tight spot faster than you can say "eighteen wheeler". He works for a local long haul family type trucking company and has been with them thru good times and slow times. (What does local long haul mean? It means that he can put up to some 500 miles on his truck in a single day and be home at the end of his shift.) He has built up seniority there and above all else has definitely shown his character.

Why am I telling you this? Well the basic story goes like this.......
With the current economy, as work is getting tight and the demand for product goes down, the company has had to put the drivers on an every other day rotation roster. All the drivers that is except my husband. They have asked him to be part of a new long term project and they changed his pay style. See, for the last 14 years, he has been paid by what he does. That is the way with most trucking establishments. A paycheck will vary each week depending on the loads and mileage that each driver does. It is honest pay for honest work.......but it had made poor hubby have to always compute in his head every day how much he needs to do so that we as a family can live. That can become a pretty stressful way of thinking. Now though, his pay is going to be based off of an hourly salary and guaranteed 55 hours a week.

Do you see God's provision there? For the last 4 years we have been working hard to pay off all of our bills and become debt free. We now have 10 months left to go and we are locked into our plan. If he would have been one chosen to work every other day, oh how quickly we would have spiraled into financial oblivion.
We are so humbled and grateful for God's favor.

I don't mean it to sound like we are jumping up and down in a virtual party here. I know that others are affected in a bad way with this company shift and I do feel for them and have compassion. Do you know what I mean?

(David at Authorblog honored this post with a mention in his post of the day column. I am so glad to be able to share our blessings with everyone.)

He said, "Happy Valentines Day".....

Maybe three weeks ago, my 'Rosie-girl' (who prefers now to be called Puddin' but I am slow to change) went out on a heart adventure with some friends. It wasn't the typical sort of thing one finds teens and young adults doing, but it suited them just fine.

Working together with The Father's Heart Ministry they cooked up a bunch of breakfast food, gathered up clothing and blankets from the warehouse, and set out in search of the familiar faces of those in need.

Puddin' said it was an amazing day for her. She was able to share smiles, prayers, and love with people whose only difference from us was the fact that they had not a roof over their heads.

Along the way, one gentleman came up to her and interestingly enough asked if she had a mom. When she replied yes he said, "I have made something here out of envelopes and it took me quite some time to make. I know if I keep a hold of it in my circumstances...... it will get ruined. Could you please give this to your mom and tell her Happy Valentines Day?"

Isn't that simply amazing?

Who knows the circumstances of how people end up on the streets. At times it is the sad situation of substance abuse, some are there just to take advantage of peoples generosity, then there are the ones who truly tried all that they could but had the doors of economy and hardship slammed in their faces.

And yet, they have joy and beauty flowing from their hearts, just waiting for someone to notice.

(David at Authorblog has honored this post with an award. Thank you so much David for sharing with everyone. )

Hidden In My Heart....

Every day of being a mom is special to my heart. Though there are times when I am tired, I cherish each moment as a privilege and an honor. It is amazing to watch them grow up, make choices, learn from those choices, and set out to make their mark on the world. Sometimes it is torture to watch them go through the things I went through, and yet I know it is a "right of passage" so to speak. At other times, I see them going through things that I never experienced and then I get to live vicariously through them.
Now is one of those times.

My Rosie-girl, who at 15 years old is still so young in the world but becoming more the young woman every day, is experiencing the beautiful buds of love. (Oh my, just writing that sent a flood of emotion and adrenaline to my heart.) This journey, while still very much in the beginning stages, has been coming about for quite a while; and I have been stashing away the signs, signals, and images in my heart.

When she was 8 years old, my Rosie-girl and I were running errands one day and she piped up with this question from out of the seams of thin air, "Mommy when did you know you were in love?" Sensing her seriousness of the matter I carefully asked questions and gave advice the best I could......mother to daughter and heart to heart.
She blushed as she revealed the boy of her affections. Yes I smiled to myself. He was a nice boy, at 8 years old himself he was already showing serious signs of great character, honor, and integrity.
She relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief as I suggested that at 8 years old there is no pressure of expectations or purpose. I suggested that these growing up years are for building relationships and being friends. Don't worry about anything else for there are all too many times when our emotions take over and propel us forward into things we aren't ready for.
She liked that.......growing in friendship........perfect.

I then found out from his mom that the same sort of conversation had happened in their home as well.
Pause for reflection.....................an 8 year old boy was having emotional feelings for my little girl..........

Time went on and as circumstances do at times, his family and ours lost contact for a few years. Nothing had happened. It was just that usual thing of life pulling in different directions.
An occasional mention from a fellow friend here and there was all the contact available. Life went on.

Last year, circumstances changed and it so happened that we became in contact again.
Over time I noticed little things. It wasn't what they were doing but more of what they weren't doing that got my attention and if I didn't know my daughter so well....well then I wouldn't even have noticed that.

What did I see? Well, they would fiddle foot when they talked to one another. They always seemed to know where the other was in a room and yet there was an invisible barrier wall that kept them from getting too close to each other. For example, when talking to other friends they would each stand at the usual casual friend distance. But when talking to one another, that gap increased by at least a foot.

Once when my girl was warming up to play on the drums at youth group, she was having a hard time simply because it had been a trying day at school. Sometimes, as much as a girl tries to conquer her emotions and push through, that night she just needed a small cry to set the day back in order. So, she welled up with tears, excused herself, and went to the restroom to breathe and freshen up.
What I saw next brought tears to my own eyes that I successfully covered. He became alarmed that she was upset. He paced and worried when she didn't come right back. He grabbed her sister and urged her to go to the restroom and not leave her alone.......after all she was in distress and NEEDED to be comforted.

For her birthday, he brought her special candy and a beautiful red (her favorite color) scarf to keep her neck warm. (She has worn it continuously since then and that was 2 and a half months ago.) A few weeks after that, he showed up at worship practice with a pair of gloves to match. He said, "I saw these in the store and knew they would match your scarf perfectly so I had to get them for you." She gave him a smile, a thank you, and a hug while he blushed and smiled his sweet dimpled smile of success.

He often shows up to whatever event with her favorite candy.......just because.
She notices too. She said one day, "Mom he makes a mental note of everything I like." That was followed with serious blushing on her part.
His little tokens are always presented with a humble smile and an air of, "really it wasn't a big deal. I just know you like it."

For Christmas, he trudged through the snow to make sure she received his present in a timely manner. On this day my own heart jumped ten fold. This young man had taken opportunity to shovel snow filled driveways in his neighborhood so that he could earn money to buy her ......a real diamond sterling silver cross necklace.
There was no formality in giving it to her. He didn't pull her aside and look deep into her eyes. He simply did his sweet and humble way of, "I thought you might like this."

She had me put it on her that day and it hasn't left her neck since. I often see her fingers fiddling with it as a subconscious smile plays at the edges of her mouth.

As I look at all of these things, sure on the one hand I find little motherly qualms of panic. But the other part of me is so grateful. He is a sweet and honest young man with a depth of character that is hard to find now a days. There has been no pushing of anything. They haven't asked to be alone, haven't kissed, or even held hands and yet there is obviously a deep devotion growing between them.

Now, I know you might think that I am kidding myself. After all I know when I was a teen I did many things that my parents had no clue about. But really, there is nothing going on between them. Either he is here at our house or they are with their youth group. And for all their social events I am the driver....so I am always around. Those are the only times they see each other.

Where will they be 5 years from now?........who knows. That is not for me or anyone else to say. For now, I am so enjoying watching a simple and pure love grow in my daughter.

(Wow! What an honor! David at Authorblog has made this his post of the day choice. Thank you David for sharing my thoughts and enjoying the adventure.)

The World Isn't So Big With Text Messaging......

You are all so good and faithful to me....even when I don't get on the computer all week long. Thank you so much for your prayers, your e-notes, your willingness to 'wear my shoes', and your cheers. Some of you have even added Pippin to your prayer group lists. Wow! Thank you.

You have been wondering how Pippin is doing.
I have received some text messages from her that give me a glimpse of her new world. There is a bit of "boy I could use a mom hug" in between the lines. But mostly there is the incredible-ness of a new world being opened.
She has said things like........
"The children call me 'Madame'"
"I have made so many new friends."
"All the children crowd around and try to hold my hands at the same time."
"We had pizza today but it didn't really taste like pizza."

During the first few days of their tour, they visited a couple of villages, including Hope Village. I was really excited to find that website and informational video. As I watched it, I felt closer and gained understanding. I thought things like, "In a few hours she will be walking on that street or maybe talking with that child." I can't wait to sit with her and hear all the stories and adventures, see the growth and maturity in her eyes that only experience can give.


I have been keeping busy. Aside from one mega headache that made me useless for a couple of days, I have been Christmas shopping and doing all the regular house wife/mom kinds of things. As soon as Pippin gets back from Uganda, our oldest daughter comes into town for a week with her beau and we will be celebrating Christmas early. That means things have to be ready early.

My sweet "Rosie-girl" was so wonderful today. We put up our tree tonight and after I strung the lights she and her girlfriend did all the decorating. I am so grateful.

How is it that at 37 years old I can't balance and multi-task like I did just one year ago? I look back at that ME standing in my kitchen with 4 teens at home, a hubby, 2 dogs, the door, cell phone, and land line all vying for my attention at the same time while bread bakes in the oven and dinner cooks on the stove.......nothing burns....everyone is satisfied, and I wasn't overwhelmed......and I think "Who in the world was THAT woman?"

It makes me laugh. For now the smallest of things jumbles up my brain while days can go by and I cannot account for anything worthwhile being accomplished. I take great joy in the truth of knowing....."and this too shall pass".

(David at Authorblog gave this post an honorable mention in his Post of the Day spot. Thank you David for being so supportive and riding this ride along with me.)

Uganda Updates....

I haven't been around much and I am sorry. I have wanted to write and visit but have been feeling a bit under the weather lately. For a while now, I have had chronic severe headaches and have recently been seeing a physical therapist to try and get things to calm down. My last appointment seemed to aggravate things though and now I am slow. But that is okay. Everything has a season and I will get over this.

I want to share some great and amazing news about Pippin's preparations for her Uganda trip. First and foremost.....she has all of her money that will be needed for the trip expenses! It has been such an amazing thing of faith to walk out. Here were have been believing that she is supposed to go on this trip with a cost factor that we can't even begin to bite into and God kept whispering that everything would be taken care of. On the other side of that has been the other voice that laughs and says, "You are believing in what? Aren't you a fool!" But we have dared to believe anyway.

Last weekend, she was given 3 large donations that made her balance complete. All the donations have been so generous no matter what the size. These are hard economic times that we are living in right now and for anyone to give anything is such an act of generosity. We were most shocked though by my hubby's boss who sent 2 donations. One was a check from the company and one was a personal check.....both being 20 times more than we could have imagined.

I think that speaks on so many levels. It speaks to answered faith and encouragement coming from unexpected places. It also speaks of how the company feels about the work my hubby has done for them over the years. We have been in awe ever since.

As if that was not enough, here is a story that I think will make you smile as much as it did us...

Recently I gave Pippin an old skirt that I had bought some 15 years ago when we were stationed in Okinawa. It is a light cotton gauze material that is flowing and reaches her ankles. She decided it would be perfect to wear in Uganda. The light weight material would really help the 90 degree summer temperatures while the modest covering would give her the freedom to do many different activities during her stay. The only problem is that it is not a current style. So I figured we would go to the big local fabric store and I would create what was needed.

After surfing through a myriad of patterns and materials I realized that now matter what I bought, I would have to make serious adjustments and it would all be pretty spendy. I figured each skirt would run about $30 if I was super careful. Then I would still need to figure out how to make the cute little waist line tassels that she loved so much on the original skirt.

Sigh.......I walked around the store thinking and praying, "Lord I want so much for her to have at least 4 skirts for the trip. I can sew and create my own pattern if necessary but I am not as good as I used to be and this is really going to take time. And the tassels, yikes! You are really going to have to help me with that......"

Then I stopped in my tracks. Right in front of me was a table marked "Manager's Special". It had 6 skirts on it that were beautifully patterned ankle length with light cotton gauze material. They even had the inner skirt lining already in place AND the waist line tassels. Why they were there in a fabric store I have no idea. It is not like they were classroom demonstration products or something because they had manufacture tags on them. Now get this........they were selling for $5 each. I couldn't have even bought a yard of material for that!

As we loaded up with our 4 choices, a sales person walked by and said, "Oh good. I was hoping to get rid of those. I don't even know where they came from."

Would you agree that is pretty amazing?

David at Authorblog award this post with a mention on his Post of the Day. It is an honor.

He Is Really Here....

I got up this morning expecting to do my normal things.....take the girls to school, walk, clean a little. Today was my dad's arrival flight from San Antonio. I had been preparing for it all along. I had been telling people he was coming. I bought certain foods that I knew would make him smile and even signed up with a gourmet coffee by mail thing so that he could have the best while visiting.

But even with all of those things surrounding my thoughts, today didn't seem real. Thoughts kept going through my head questioning why I was doing things.

* "Why am I scrubbing the bathroom even though I did it two days ago? Oh yeah. My dad is coming in today."
* "Why do I keep looking at the clock like I have to be somewhere? Oh yeah. My dad is coming in today."
* "Why do I keep checking to make sure the bedroom is just so? Oh yeah. It is because my dad is coming in today."

It didn't hit me completely even as I drove around the airport 4 times trying to figure out the signage with all of the construction. It wasn't until I stood in the terminal and looked into each face that walked by that I realized fully....my dad is coming in today.

The minutes went by and I fought back the panic that said "What if I missed him? What if he walked by while I was looking at the arrival screen? What if....What if...What if.....?"

Then he was there with his signature walk and sporting a new 'handle bar' addition to his moustache. I hugged him and couldn't let go.

We visited with my brother over coffee at the local diner and then came home for left over spaghetti and conversation.

It has been a bit awkward. We are both nervous.
It was quiet tonight and everyone else was in bed but the two of us. Then of his own doing, he swung the conversation around to our relationship. He said, "I have so many regrets and there are so many things that I wish I could undo with not being there for you for so many years. I can't fix the past. All I can do is hope to make up for things now."

How many times I have played out a conversation like this in my head. How many responses I have written over the years in my mind. But now.......I couldn't speak. I couldn't say yes or no, you are right or I forgive you, the past is is past and we are moving forward........................

nothing.
I couldn't even move.

We hugged goodnight and again couldn't let go for a long time.
Will I even sleep tonight?





(I am humbly honored that David at Authorblog awarded this post as Post of the Day.)

He Is My Dad...

I have three fathers......
1) my God whom I often refer to as my Heavenly Father and never leaves me alone because He is in my heart.
2) my Dad who is my parent and biological father. He calls me his angel and we are working on having a real and current relationship that actively involves one another not just in heart but also in thought and deed. He lives in San Antonio.
3) then I have my Dad who became my step-dad when I was 14 years old. He and my mom never had children of their own. My brother and I became his children in all matters of heart and action. How blessed I have been over time for my heart to learn to call him Dad. How many ceaseless times he has proven to be there for our every need and care no matter what the sacrifice. He lives 15 minutes away with my mom and Nana.

My Dad and my Dad. It is funny......I call them the same name. I am sure it is confusing to those around me as they try to quickly figure out which man I am referring to. In my mind, when I say Dad and Dad, they sound different to me because I think in pictures and feelings. It is as different to me as when I say the name "Lonnie" who is my friend's husband or "Lani" which is my mom's dog. Go ahead and say them aloud. Or try Anne Shirley's Anne with an "e" instead of plain old Ann. Doesn't Anne with an "e" feel more eloquent on your tongue? Don't they feel different to you even though you say them the same?

So tonight I am thinking about a conversation I had today with my dad. (Did you hear it? Which one am I referring to? Right, the one who lives here.)
I had been visiting my mom and was leaving to finish the final preparations for my small part of my cousin's store. I couldn't make it all the way up the driveway though because Dad was coming down in his truck. So I backed up to let him pass. We pulled up side by side to each other's vehicles with windows down to give a "Hey how's your day going?" Dad quickly decided that wasn't enough and got out of his truck so that he could come stand by my car and visit a bit more personally.

We spoke of garden projects and airplane fixings (his job). Then he turned subjects on me and asked me what kind of fan I would like in my living room. Sounds like an odd question given the other topics right? There is a story behind it but not one that bears the importance of retelling. Suffice it to say that he got it in his mind that we needed a fan in our living room and more over, he needed to be the one to provide it. I tried to re-direct the conversation plenty of times but, if you know my precious Dad, that is much like re-directing a freight train through a pin hole. There we were, he wanting to freely buy something for us and me feeling the guilt of my Dad using his money on us when I know they need their own things.

Finally I asked why it was so important to him that we have a fan and that he got it for us. With misty eyes and before he realized what exactly came out of his mouth he said, "Because there is so much more I should have done over the years for you all."

I welled up with my own tears as I looked at him and said, "What do you mean? What more should you have done? Your heart was the most precious and dear thing you have ever given me and all I have ever needed."

It was precious and goofy all at the same time as we both donned the "hey why are you crying" badge. We were a sight. I guess we both needed it.

I doubt I have explained it here adequately enough to share the depths of our hearts in the moment but that is okay. I just wanted to share and wish the same special bonds of relationship into your life.

(This post was honored by David at Authorblog for top post of the day. What a blessing for me. Here I was just wanting to journal and not lose track of a special moment and I am finding so many people are blessed by it.)

What Did I Order......

Last week Rosie-girl and I were running errands and decided to stop at the local Wendy's restaurant for lunch. As we were sitting there eating and talking, one of the employees came out to do clean up patrol. He was a happy go lucky type of guy with a string Hispanic accent. He came over to us and asked, "Excuse me but have you seen a mouse running around here anywhere?"

Shock played across my face as I processed what he said and evaluated the implications.

Then he laughed and said, "I am only kidding. I am talking about that funny mouse in the Disney cartoon. You know he was in my hat and now I can't find him anywhere."

'haa haa funny joke', I thought. 'good for him for having a fun sense of humor. Don't know if his manager would feel so light hearted about it but whatever.'

So today Rosie and I were again running errands and figured we would stop at the same eatery for cheap food that is advertised as being more healthy and wholesome.

As I opened my smart choice of a grilled chicken wrap......a green bug crawled out to inspect the world. It looked just like this little thing below. Silly me....though my first nano-second thought was 'wow that is a pretty color to photograph', in my shock and panic state I didn't think to take a picture.

I covered the food and bug with a napkin and carried it all up to the food counter. The employee was shocked. I listened to the eeks and shrieks of the other employees as she carried it back to show the manager. She came back to me and said, "My manager says sorry and told me to give you your money back.....or do you want another sandwich?"

Okay I give grace to tons of people. After all I need it myself and who am I to judge. but what kind of question is that? Of course I don't WANT another sandwich.

She gave me my money back....a whole $1.50 and told me to have a nice day.

Rosie of course didn't want to finish her lunch after watching the green thing crawl out of my food. I don't blame her.

Who knows what important thing the manager was doing during my little crisis, but they couldn't even come out and talk to me? I am not one of those get them for all they are worth kinds of people. If you burn yourself with your coffee it is because you should have known that hot coffee would be hot. It is not the fault of the food vendor. But live bugs in the food.......how about a coupon or better yet just give me back the whole $5 I spent there in good faith.

Yeah, we are not going to eat there anymore.

(Recommended as Post of the Day at David's Authorblog. )

Moments of Bits and Pieces.....

I haven't been around much lately. everything great has been happening. It is simply that I can't seem to organise myself into multi-tasking with blogging at the moment. So, what has gotten me so pre-occupied?

1) Pippin has officially graduated from CAL now. That leaves one more year of schooling for her and we are in sort of a holding pattern to decide our course of events for fall. I have submitted for an out of district transfer for both of our girls and that has been approved. Now we are waiting for the "other" district to give their approval. This other school offers much more opportunities and choices than our own district so we are anxious to hear the final verdict. Until then, we are stuck with wanting to make class choices and full or part time decisions until we know for sure.

2) My cousin is getting ready to open a craft store. Okay, it doesn't make everybody jump up and down with delight....but for me it is exciting. I have been going around town picking up my supplies so that I can create all sorts of simplistic finery that is my personal specialty. Eventually I suppose I might get back into quilting and teaching classes if things go well, but for now that seems a bit to overwhelming for me to swallow. The simplest things have me hooked up right now....namely how do I package my wares and what sort of signature "title" do I give them? I know big decisions. You can laugh, but it really has me stumped.

3) I have been telling myself that I would hold off and not announce this until I was completely finished...but I can't hold off tooting my horn of excitement just a tiny bit. The announcement is.....I HAVE BEEN LOSING WEIGHT. Is that really worthy of an announcement? Well for me it is. For the past 14 years or so, I have gone up and down on the scales. The outcome has made me miserable and loss of self esteem has always been a factor. For too many years I have had a relationship with food. It has been my comforter in times of stress, emotion, tension, and boredom.

A couple of months ago, actually if you remember it was the same time that I got mysteriously sick, I started watching my food intake. I am not sure what mental switch has been flipped inside my head, but now taking care of my body has become very important to me. Those carbs are not calling in magical song to me anymore and it is very easy for me to turn any foods down.

So I just have to say that I am feeling the beginnings of victory.

(Nominated for a mention on David's post of the day. Wow my fast paced craziness made someone smile.)

What I Remember....

Memories resurface when we least expect them to. They can show up from a myriad of different tugs that instantly recall a scene. Triggers can come from smells and sounds, similar feelings and situations, and even things read and heard. The past couple of weeks for me has been an accumulation of all the above to bring back childhood memories, specifically visits with my grandmother.

My dear grandmother was my father's mother. Though I have mentioned Grandmother only once before here, she has always been close to me in my heart. Often times, I will look at situations and decisions that need to be made and without even realising it I will ask myself, "What would Grandmother do?"

I loved my childhood visits to Grandmother's house. It was like stepping into Mayberry. For a chunk of my childhood, we were stationed at an Air Force base a mere 8 hours away from Grandmother's home in the small backwoods of Chatham, Louisiana. It was such a different way of life and the experiences never became old. Our every day lives were pretty fast paced with school and both parents working. Not that that was a bad thing mind you. It is just that the gears would stop with every mile that we would get closer to that little town. Though I knew how long the drive would be, I would always ask, "Are we there yet? How much longer until we get there?" I knew those mile markers and I knew where all of the turns were. I even knew for a fact that the hands of time worked against me in making minutes slow down as we made each corner.

To this very day, I could take you there right now with my eyes closed.
Do you smell the wetness in the air? That is the lake. Do you hear the toads and crickets chirping their songs? Do you hear the rocks catching in the tire tread? Here comes the general store just before the flashing light. Boy, the town folk were sure proud to get that flashing yellow light. Over there are the railroad tracks. We will take a left there......bump bump bump. Now a right down Davis Street and to the end. Do feel the shade of the big trees as we drive under them? It is so cool and refreshing against the sweltering heat. To the left is Aunt Olie and Uncle Calvin's house. They will want us to pop in for some sun brewed ice tea when we are refreshed. There on the left, there is Grandmother coming out of her screened in front porch. She is wiping her hands on a kitchen towel because she was making some special vittles for us. "Traveling like that is sure to make a person hungry", she says as her hugs squeeze the breath out of our bodies.

I remember so much about Grandmother. She was firm and absolute in her resolve while her heart was molded with gold that shone so bright to everyone within her grasp. She had the resilient strength in character to raise 6 strapping boys and 3 grandchildren while her heart bore the grief of living through the deaths of 2 husbands, a baby girl, and 4 of her grown boys. A person never ever thought of answering Grandmother without ending their sentence with "Ma'am". I don't ever remember not saying "yes Ma'am" to Grandmother. Not because she demanded it, but because she was worthy of the respect. I remember early on, never wanting to do anything that would hurt Grandmother, simply because I loved her so.

Those short visits were filled with all sorts of memories; shucking corn and catching crawdads, softball games and my cousin's big old dog named Bear, family reunions, honey bees and Daddy Long legged spiders, learning to drive a riding lawn mower and shotgun target practice, Grandmother's special gumbo and her southern style biscuits. As I play every memory out they all circle back around to Grandmother.

When my husband and I married, we were stationed just a few hours away from Grandmother. It was always s joy to get to have a three day weekend and spend it in her company.
I remember that it was because of Grandmother that everyone decided my husband was "alright" and accepted. See, no one in the family liked that this older man had swept young little me off my feet. But Grandmother declared, "In the short weekend of their first visit he was polite, changed my car oil and fixed my ceiling fan. To top it off, he makes our little Julie smile so what more could we ask for?" Then she rounded it off with, "Looking at them together, why they are just cuter than a speckled pup under a red wagon." That simple statement was all anyone needed.

Grandmother's house was my home away from home. When my husband was called away in the middle of the night to serve in Desert Shield, it was summer time and I was left with his two small children. Thoughts of re booking their plane tickets and sending them home early to their momma never even occurred to me. As they walked around the house in a daze, clutching their daddy's photo and wondering if they would see him again, my only thought was to take them to the place where I always had peace....Grandmother's house. There we were just a few hours later and there was Grandmother with her open arms full of acceptance and love. She helped wipe away the children's' tears and comforted me in all of her knowing ways.
The kids, now ages 25 and 28 years, still bring up those special days at Grandmother's house.

When I had my first baby, I couldn't wait to take her to see Grandmother. Though Grandmother had countless grandchildren and great grandchildren by that time, that didn't stop her from ooh-ahhing over my little girl and showing her off to everybody in town.

I hold dear all of our visits. We would often sit out on the screened in front porch early in the morning and talk about Bible and family, times past and times to come. Sometimes we would giggle and sometimes just breathe deeply and not say anything at all.

Sitting here now at my keyboard, I can still feel the slow sway of the porch swing and hear the creak of the chains going back and forth. I can see her smiling next to me with a little girl grin as we share a fresh batch of instant chocolate pudding. "I like it the best", she says, "when not all of the pudding mixes up with the milk. Then you get little clumps of powder in your spoon and it is like a secret treasure surprise."

Oh Grandmother you are our treasure and I love you so.
Thank you for blessing us all with the specialness of you over the years.

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(David at Authorblog honored this post and my dear Grandmother with giving it a mention as post of the day. I am so grateful to share Grandmother with everyone.)

I Am Breathing....

It seems that lately the time on the clock has been spinning more and more quickly around the dial. With end of year school projects, capstone presentations, volunteering, Sunday school lessons to plan, and all of the general things of family and home.....my head is now swirling even when my body stops moving. In between reading To Kill a Mockingbird and Summer of The Monkeys at the same time ( so that I can know what I am actually teaching) and examining the finer points of Solving for Unknown with Multiplicative Inverse, I am making making a mental list of all the things that I normally do which I haven't had opportunity to do. You know, things like beading, card making, blog visiting, being with friends.

Soon the gears will slow down. That will be so good because I really don't like it when I get in this mode. It is a mode that spins so fast, I know I am not giving correct devotion to any one thing. I see the things that need to be done but I am going so fast that I find I don't want to do any of it. I stop wanting to care and end up sitting with a numb feeling coursing through me. Then the pressure builds, the not caring builds, the numbing builds......it is a vicious and unproductive circle.

The little white dog that was staying with us this past week went home yesterday. Okay go ahead and laugh at how silly I am. I miss her. After that first couple of days when I thought I could be capable of inflicting inhumane pain on an animal, she calmed down and became angelic, while I became a sucker. Sigh...... I missed taking her out this morning, missed her running up to me last night to say a happy hello, and more than once I thought she was bumping up against my leg to ask for attention.

Also, this week was scary for a young teen friend of ours. At the beginning of the week he was admitted to the university hospital here in the city after having a heart attack. It was crazy to say the least. He is a healthy young man and it came as a shock to us all. It turns out that he had somehow acquired an infection in his heart that was attacking and destroying all tissues in its path. He is on the mend now and in a couple of weeks we will be able to find out what kind of permanent damage there is.

Last but not least, yesterday was my last day for volunteering with TIP. I know I have pulled the "I quit" card before but this time I mean it. It is such a privilege and honor to be in a position to be with people and help them when a crisis hits. The fact that I have been able to give encouragement and love to them when their hearts are most exposed to pain, I cherish each time. But I must grip the fact that I cannot be all things to all people at all times. It could very well be an organization that I work with in the future, but now is not my season. I need to allow myself a small bit of breathing room in my days. I cannot take care of others if I do not take care of myself first.

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(Honorable mention of poast of the day from David at Authorblog. I am once again humbled and I must giggle. I am still in the foggy run run mode and when I saw his mention, it didn't even click that it was me. I simply thought, "oh look someone else has my name."

How Much is that Doggie in the Window.....

In thinking of a title for this post, I started to sing a song I played on my childhood record player over and over and over again. I can still hear it in my head...with scratchy sounds and all....

"How much is that doggie in the window?

The one with the waggily tail.

How much is that doggie in the window?

I do hope that doggies for sale.

Arff! Arff!"

Dogs....until recently, I have always owned a dog and I know that some day I will once again own a dog. Now that I am pretty regular with going out on walks, I have occasionally thought it would be nice to have a companion with me...a small bit of accountability to make sure I get out in the rays of sun. I have wondered if I will become lonely when the girls are off in school and I have time to figure out a bit of me with the unoccupied hours. Maybe it would then be time for a fuzz ball in the house.

I started doing a bit of research on the subject. We have always had whatever pooch landed on our doorstep, which is not a bad way to be. I just want to do things different this time. What kind of dog would suit my needs? I took an online profile, researched breeds and needs, temperaments and dispositions, do they dig, are they ornery, easy to train, eager to please, balanced between needing attention and being able to spend time alone. I even looked up breeders in the area and started estimating how long it would take me to be financially ready.

I have now put all of my information on the back burner. "Pippin" is puppy sitting this week for a friend and it has thrown my world into a spin to have a canine in our house again. She is a cute little thing and we have known her since she was a pup. But the things to think about when having a pet to be responsible for....well I guess I had forgotten.

It is like having a baby again. Is she hungry? Is she thirsty? Is she lonely? Does she need to go outside? Have we been away from home for too long? Would somebody please tell me why she is whining non stop!

Yes, I know that one day I will have a pup of my very own to go on walks with me, be my friend with deep knowing eyes and ears that always listen, and keep my feet warm as I curl up on the couch. But for now, I am definitely not ready. As a matter of fact, I think it will be completely healthy for me to be alone when the girls go to school.

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(David at Authorblog made this an honorable mention for post of the day. I am humbled with the honor.)

This Is No Way To Mop a Floor....

Take a minute to picture the facts and circumstances that build up to this setting:

*I administrate the childrens classes at our church
Schedules and lesson planning are very much due for those classes, which is my job

*I am the home school teacher to 1 junior high girl and 2 high school girls
There are only 9 weeks of school left to finish out grades and subject content

*I am not a packrat but all of my family members are
Two days ago the girls felt it was time to finally overhaul their collective rooms

*I am not a packrat because when things are laid everywhere, I feel panicky and claustrophobic
Things to be gotten rid of are now wall to wall in the main part of the house

*We have company staying the weekend with us beginning tonight
See above

*My in-laws and our oldest daughter (with boyfriend in tow) will be here in 5 days
Still see above

*I am three months over due for a hair cut
I feel like the Shaggy DA

*I got up and took my friend to the airport at 4:30 this morning
An honor and privilege to do anytime

*The calendar has us with a fun full weekend in store with friends, classes, birthdays, and church


So there is the basic setting.
School was just getting started.
I was still in my grubbies because I chose to lay back down after returning from the airport instead of showering.
I reviewed the math lesson and then figured a cup of my newest vice (Chocolate Marshmallow Bunny Coffee with Hershey's Chocolate Caramel creamer) would hit the spot.

That is when I heard the noise...the hissing and spitting sound of running water forcing its way out of a pipe. The sound was coming from the laundry room. As I followed the noise, looking for the source, my socks became wet. The water was warm, snuggly warm.

"No please no," I muttered as I pulled the panel off of the water heater. "We have school to do, a car full of Goodwill stuff to drop off, a friend to pick up, rooms to still finish cleaning, a drum lesson, dinner...blah blah blah..." Relentlessly, unmercifully the water still poured. It didn't care that I had a schedule to keep.

I slapped off the power to the water heater on the electric panel and called my hubby. He had no phone service in the mountain pass he was driving in and couldn't take off of work anyway. So I called my dad. He came in a flash with tools in hand to be our knight in shinning armor. One quick look told him that the whole unit had seen its finer days of water regulating. After wrestling with it for hours, we found that none of the designated parts wanted to work in the way they were designed. Water came out of every opening possible except for the drain spout. We rotated towels through probably 30 gallons of water on the kitchen floor before the spout gave way to our authority.

So here I sit, sore arms from wringing towels, no water in which to shower with, 15 wet towels waiting for a turn in the machine, and a schedule to keep. I am okay really. I laugh in the face of adversity. Haa haa!

At least my kitchen floor is now mopped clean.

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(personal note: David at Authorblog honored me a 'blog of the day honorable mention' for this post. It is exciting!)

Sweet Nothings...

It was a Sunday afternoon. We were walking the mall with our new friends and attempting to conquer every store there. It seemed as if every person in the city was shopping that afternoon. The kiosk agents knew it would be a lucrative day and were ready for anyone daring to pass within the vicinity of their turf. I had always gone out of my way to avoid those little shops on wheels, but this day proved to be very different.

I saw him looking my way with a smile and a hello ready to fall from his lips. "No way." I thought. "You are not going to sucker me into anything. I am stronger than that." I started my usual steering away process that had served me so well in times past.
He said, "Good afternoon. I was wondering if I could borrow a minute of your time and share something with you."

Not an unusual statement. It was polite and simple, but nothing amazing.
What grabbed my attention was his accent and voice. He spoke with a decidedly Hebrew accent, his voice soft but firm.
He wanted to show me wonderful products created with Dead Sea Minerals that would change my hands, nails, and life forever.

I could have walked away. I knew it was a sales pitch. But on that day I didn't walk away. I listened, I participated, and shamefully I purchased. I really did. I bought a kit for $25, a kit that contained mostly things I already owned.

Me, normally frugal and conservative, I don't even give my hands much thought, and here I was with a special kit.
How could I do such a thing? Was it the product? Not in the least. It was him.

He had asked if he could show me how the product worked. When I consented, he gently took my hand in his and slowly buffed, lotioned, and oiled the daily traumas out of my first nail. All the while that he performed his magic, his 6 foot 3 inch stature was positioned close to me so that he could speak softly into my ear, talking to me about the importance of caring for myself. He said I mattered and must remember to care for the inner and outer beauty that is me.

All the while this was happening, my brain was screaming at me on the inside, "You are being a Class A sucker! Walk away! It is a gimmick...a ploy! You are a smart girl and you certainly know better than this. He doesn't care about you. He cares about his sales. It probably isn't even a real accent....and WHY are you letting a stranger hold your hand you idiot!"

My emotions, caught up in the allure of the moment, betrayed me and refused to listen to the voice of reason. Even as I was agreeing with my mind and thoughts, my hand was reaching into my pruse to pay for my new products.

Every time I sit down to buff up my nails, I think about the above scenario. My thoughts vary from character learning to blushing to a bit of embarrassment to a small smile.

Okay, so I am out $25. At least I have great hands.







(note to self: Honorable mention of blog post of the day by David. Oh my goodness!)

I'm Back....

I had set out at the beginning of the weekend a bit nervous about the trip, but I ended up having such a wonderful time.

We met up with our friends in Astoria early Saturday morning and I got everyone to the whale training seminar. Then I was ready for a day of adventure all to myself. The weather was foggy and cool. After not sleeping well the night before and then getting up early for the drive, I really felt a strong temptation to pull over for a bit of a nap. I did just that very thing too. It was a tiny nap, but even that was a strange new adventure for me.

After being re-charged, my exploring began. My first stop was Fort Stevens. I had read about an old ship that had wrecked there back in 1906. It was such a find. I could have stayed there all day. It was a strange mixture of emotions to stand there in the cold waters while viewing the rusted ship remains and listen to the pounding of the waves.

My next adventure was to explore a bit of Astoria. I took in the panoramic view of the Astoria Column and then walked around the historic part of town reading bits of history. It was inspiring to learn about the pioneers that forged this western land.

Once I had some lunch in me, I felt charged up for some super hiking. I treked around both the North Head Lighthouse and the Lighthouse of Cape Disappointment. I got super muddy but it was well worth it. The views were breath taking as the ocean wind and waves whispered to me.

Sunday was a day for staying in town. With my daughter and friends still in the seminar, it was more time for me to explore the concept of "me time". I walked on the beach, did a small bit of window shopping, and crafted some new card designs. I think the biggest thing for me though was the challenge to sit in a resaurant and order by myself. Sure, I have run into Subway or Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. But I have never gone into a "sit down and order with a waitress" kind of place....alone. You know what? I lived. No one pointed at me. Nothing bad happened. I simply enjoyed my meal.

In the evening, our friends built us a campfire on
the beach so that we could roast hotdogs and marshmallows. While sitting there, we saw the most amazing thing as the sun was starting to set. It is called a fire rainbow. I had seen a couple of emails come across my desk with info about this sight, but I must admit that I thought it was some sort of photoshop hoax thing. Boy was I wrong. As if I didn't know the truth before of how amazing and creative God is, this proves it yet again.

This is the best picture my camera could come up with and it does it no justice at all. I know it is hard to see but if you look to the right of the sun and almost to the sand dune, you will find a blur of color. It is actually a rainbow in the clouds. It looks as if a giant hand smeared paint across the clouds in a blaze of color.

Today I got in one more long walk on the beach. I went farther than I ever have before. I didn't let myself stop because of any kind of "I should go do....." thought. Instead, I gave myself permission to walk as long as I wanted, not worry about making eye contact with anyone, and tune out the busy world.
I crossed a small inlet and I got my feet wet.
I got my shoes wet....and nothing bad happened.
Nothing happend except the freedom in being able to do it.

I know, it is worth laughing at. You can say, "Wow Jules, you really stretched yourself there you wild woman. You mean, you actually got your feet wet?!" To me, it meant alot and that is all that matters.

It was hard to leave, but we had to get back to reality. Real lives don't revolve around being able to do whatever you want whenever you want on a continual basis. I am home. I love my family. I have a head full memories to think on for a good while to come.

I am not a photographer by any means, but this link might help you better see a few of my adventures. pictures

(personal note: David at Authorblog gave me a 'blog of the day honorable mention' for this post. It is indeed an honor.)