Today was the day......
I had a 10am appointment at OHS to put our border collie and lab up for adoption.
My husband and I both grew up in our perspective homes with dogs as a part of the inner household workings. So when we got married, it was natural for us to always have 1 to 3 dogs running around our home. I never questioned it.....it was simply a fact in our minds that dogs made for a happier and livelier abode.
However, over the past few years, I have felt a rising guilt towards those furry family members as our daily lives have become more and more stretched.....schooling, community centers, meetings, volunteering, and of course the general social lives of the 4-7 people that live here at any given time. That guilt and subsiquent conviction, I have tried...unsuccessfully...to communicate with my family.
Over the past few months, I have seen small falterings in their (the dogs) obedience levels as they have learned the classic adage that acting out and misbehaving brings about attention - and bad attention is better than no attention at all.
So it is done.....they are now in a position to receive better care and love than we had the energy to give.
My family is adjusting. They seem to all understand that this is the right course of action. My "Rosie-girl" has been having the hardest time. Silent crocodille tears ran down her almost 14 year old face as I drove away this morning. It took her a couple of hours after I came home to let me hug her without being rigid. Later in the day I asked her if she'd like to go get that new haircut she had been hoping for before school starts. That perked her up and made a huge difference in her demeanor. No, she is not so shallow that she can be bought and bribed by a haircut. I think it simply helped her to see beyond the moment that was swirling in front of her eyes.
Tonight, my husband took me out to dinner at my favorite place. When our waitress came to take our order, he said, "Hon, get you something you will really like to help you relax." Are you shocked and amazed that I/he/we would do such a thing? If so, I am so sorry.
No, I don't turn to substance crutches to get over my life humps. It was the second strawberry margareta I have had in my entire life. And hey, how can I refuse when he itemizes all that has been swirling around me the past few weeks and what lies ahead?
Oh, it tasted good.
I am purposefully focusing on letting it pierce the rock hard tension that has taken residence in the muscles around my shoulders and neck that ibuprophen makes only a mockery dent in.
Maybe in a few years when the girls have flown the nest, I will find a yearning for a furry companion. For now, I am just grateful.