When our girls were still little babies, I felt the strong assurance that God wanted us to home educate them thru at least their primary years. If you happen to read this, it tends to be a topic of debate so you will either relate and accept our situation, or you will think we are nuts. Either way is okay. All I ask is that you keep in mind that God calls us all to do different things. Whether personal convictions pertain to drinking, movie watching, dancing, .....(this list could go on forever) ..... that is exactly what they are....personal convictions.
Being around others who home school, I have come across all types of attitudes and reasonings. They range from the family who does it because the public school system has failed their particular situation to the extreme conservative who fears that their child rubbing elbows with others who don't know God personally will only cause them to rebel and assure their souls a secure place in the fire pits of hell.
Where do I stand on it all? I sit on the fence post. I think that if a person feels led to home school, more power to them. If a family wants to put their children in public school, they can be very successful and a wonderful experience. If a family wants to go the private schooling way, that works well too. All of it to say that what we each do with our children is ours to do and can be a great experience as long as the family stays involved with one another.
The past 12 years have been very rewarding for us. We wouldn't trade them for anything. Now is a new time and season though and God is calling us to change. For the past several months, I have been feeling a stirring to enroll our youngest, "Rosie", into the local high school next fall. I entertained good days and bad days as I searched to make sure it was a correct decision. I sipped coffee with too many of my personal and nagging doubts of self.
-Does this mean I am giving up?
-Shame on me for wanting to stop when we only have 4 years left.
-Will she feel slighted that I did her sister all the way thru but I am sending her out earlier?
-What if I never heard right in the first place and all of these years has been for my own selfish gain.
-The faces of the above mentioned extremists ran thru my head like that old horrid Amityville Horror movie.
I know, I know.....really I am all good now. It is my first reaction in most things to cast doubt upon myself. I wallow in it for a bit and then I get a grip and seek out the truth.
So here I am looking upon a new year as a REALLY new year. The next 6 months will stay the same as usual except for the fact that this last semester of school I will spend getting "Rosie" ready for the adventure of all things high school.
"Pippin" will continue her last year with me part time in the fall. She will also be attending the local high school for some part time electives since she will have her CAL program completed. "Harper" will be with me part time next fall as well as finishing her CAL studies.
I had a sweet girl from our youth group come up to me the other night and ask questions about the CAL program. Her ultimate goal was this question, "Miss Julie, do you have room for me in your house of studies? Could you school me too like you do the other girls?"
As much as it pulled at my heart, I told her no and that God had other doors of opportunity for her to explore.
They say that 8 is the year of new beginnings. I am really feeling that. I am looking at the possibility of having every other day to myself. No mom hat or teacher hat for 7 hours out of the day. I have NEVER been in this situation before. It is a few months away of course but I am giddy and nervous all at the same time. What will I do with my time? I am sure I will lay around for a bit...just because I can. But I know that will get old. I like to do things. I have already promised not to do something extreme like run out and get a job. I must get over this being tired all the time thing and do some things for myself.
I was once asked what I would do when I am finished schooling the girls. I stated that I know there will be a time of adjustment for me, a time when I mourn and miss the "days of old". It is reality. But I look forward to the opportunity to mourn miss and adjust. It is my right.
It will be a time for finding me. I know I am underneath all of those hats somewhere. Occasionally that me peeks out.
My goodness I will have time to focus on getting healthy. I have grumbled for so long about the 60 pounds I want to lose and not having the energy or time to try.
There are sports that I have always wanted to try and never had time for. Crafts that sit in the corner begging for attention.
Wow, time for me. I laugh and say it is a novel idea.
I am very proud of you! You are an amazing lady, all in your home will do well with these changes I am sure.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it was a horribly big decision, but the right one I am sure, sometimes when the time comes for change you just know deep down.
ReplyDeleteTime for yourself will I'm sure be a wonderful luxury to start with, but the time will quickly fill itself with some wonderful things. Good luck to all of you with the new era.
It sounds like you've givin this a great deal of thought. In times of these type of decisions I find myself asking, "Is this God telling me to do this or is it me telling me to do this?"
ReplyDeleteThat is sometimes the hardest part of the whole process.
You know lastnite when you shared this with me, again I felt so blessed to know you. May sound strange to some, coming from 'The Ole Apple Tree'. But once again Honey, you just stand in awe to me. God bless you for being YOU. You may think that you're burried under all the hats you wear. And you probably are a lil bit. But I can tell you, as I am one who has know you all your life. The real Jules wears each one of those hats also. That's how you have grown into such a beautiful woman of our Lord. God Bless you my lil Apple-girlie. I will always trust your decisions because I know they will be God directed.
ReplyDeleteOh la la this comment from the old apple tree is marvellous, you should print it and have it framed! just joking.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do is going to be ok because you gave great thought on it, instinctively a mother knows what is good to her children and no it's NOT the same for all the children. So one has been home schooled and the other one will go to a real school, that's it.
The time you'll get for yourself will reflect on the entire household in the end.
Wow! A lot of really good responses, Jules! Awesome! As I know you, I too can see how you must have agonized over this for some time. Change is always needed, even for the best of us - allowing God's children to learn other ideas, experience new and different things.
ReplyDeleteLike Jeff mentioned, the biggest thorn is "Who is doing the requesting here?" However with every action, our answers will be eventually revealed.
And God won't steer you wrong.
Trek 4 Fun....my best-est and coolest. You are always so patient and wonderful to see me thru to the end of my emotional drownings.
ReplyDeletePretty soon I will be out on those waters with you learning how to Kayak for real.
Mima...thank you for the understanding. I really do love to look at new horizons.
Jeff...you are so right. How many times I have found myself in that very spot of circling thoughts and questions. Thank God that HIS voice is so calm and assuring. Eventually I hear it amidst the circles.
Ole Apple Tree....Mom you are always my cheerleader seeing me beyond myself. But I learned it all from you. Hubby was telling someone that very fact a couple of nights ago...without prompting on my part.
Kitem...isn't my mom the best? You are right. We all do what we think is the best for our kids. There are no black and white answers. We learn and grow right along with them.
Kevin....my buddy tried and true. When it all comes down to it...isn't it awesome that it is NOT all our responsibility? All we have to do is take the time to listen and hear clear.
I'm sure that the Lord will guide you! We opted for Christian school for our 4 kids, but each year we re-evaluate, just to be sure we aren't putting our faith in what is comfortable (if that makes sense?!) We are also facing a possible change in next year's plan. Change is scary, but sometimes necessary to get us out of our comfort zone and to step out in faith and trust.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you~
Cathy
Kathy....ah stretching those comfort zones....God loves to see and help us grow. Yes, it does make sense what you said about putting and not putting faith in what is comfortable. I get the impression that you have a good handle on things and know where to put your trust.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by.