Every day of being a mom is special to my heart. Though there are times when I am tired, I cherish each moment as a privilege and an honor. It is amazing to watch them grow up, make choices, learn from those choices, and set out to make their mark on the world. Sometimes it is torture to watch them go through the things I went through, and yet I know it is a "right of passage" so to speak. At other times, I see them going through things that I never experienced and then I get to live vicariously through them.
Now is one of those times.
My Rosie-girl, who at 15 years old is still so young in the world but becoming more the young woman every day, is experiencing the beautiful buds of love. (Oh my, just writing that sent a flood of emotion and adrenaline to my heart.) This journey, while still very much in the beginning stages, has been coming about for quite a while; and I have been stashing away the signs, signals, and images in my heart.
When she was 8 years old, my Rosie-girl and I were running errands one day and she piped up with this question from out of the seams of thin air, "Mommy when did you know you were in love?" Sensing her seriousness of the matter I carefully asked questions and gave advice the best I could......mother to daughter and heart to heart.
She blushed as she revealed the boy of her affections. Yes I smiled to myself. He was a nice boy, at 8 years old himself he was already showing serious signs of great character, honor, and integrity.
She relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief as I suggested that at 8 years old there is no pressure of expectations or purpose. I suggested that these growing up years are for building relationships and being friends. Don't worry about anything else for there are all too many times when our emotions take over and propel us forward into things we aren't ready for.
She liked that.......growing in friendship........perfect.
I then found out from his mom that the same sort of conversation had happened in their home as well.
Pause for reflection.....................an 8 year old boy was having emotional feelings for my little girl..........
Time went on and as circumstances do at times, his family and ours lost contact for a few years. Nothing had happened. It was just that usual thing of life pulling in different directions.
An occasional mention from a fellow friend here and there was all the contact available. Life went on.
Last year, circumstances changed and it so happened that we became in contact again.
Over time I noticed little things. It wasn't what they were doing but more of what they weren't doing that got my attention and if I didn't know my daughter so well....well then I wouldn't even have noticed that.
What did I see? Well, they would fiddle foot when they talked to one another. They always seemed to know where the other was in a room and yet there was an invisible barrier wall that kept them from getting too close to each other. For example, when talking to other friends they would each stand at the usual casual friend distance. But when talking to one another, that gap increased by at least a foot.
Once when my girl was warming up to play on the drums at youth group, she was having a hard time simply because it had been a trying day at school. Sometimes, as much as a girl tries to conquer her emotions and push through, that night she just needed a small cry to set the day back in order. So, she welled up with tears, excused herself, and went to the restroom to breathe and freshen up.
What I saw next brought tears to my own eyes that I successfully covered. He became alarmed that she was upset. He paced and worried when she didn't come right back. He grabbed her sister and urged her to go to the restroom and not leave her alone.......after all she was in distress and NEEDED to be comforted.
For her birthday, he brought her special candy and a beautiful red (her favorite color) scarf to keep her neck warm. (She has worn it continuously since then and that was 2 and a half months ago.) A few weeks after that, he showed up at worship practice with a pair of gloves to match. He said, "I saw these in the store and knew they would match your scarf perfectly so I had to get them for you." She gave him a smile, a thank you, and a hug while he blushed and smiled his sweet dimpled smile of success.
He often shows up to whatever event with her favorite candy.......just because.
She notices too. She said one day, "Mom he makes a mental note of everything I like." That was followed with serious blushing on her part.
His little tokens are always presented with a humble smile and an air of, "really it wasn't a big deal. I just know you like it."
For Christmas, he trudged through the snow to make sure she received his present in a timely manner. On this day my own heart jumped ten fold. This young man had taken opportunity to shovel snow filled driveways in his neighborhood so that he could earn money to buy her ......a real diamond sterling silver cross necklace.
There was no formality in giving it to her. He didn't pull her aside and look deep into her eyes. He simply did his sweet and humble way of, "I thought you might like this."
She had me put it on her that day and it hasn't left her neck since. I often see her fingers fiddling with it as a subconscious smile plays at the edges of her mouth.
As I look at all of these things, sure on the one hand I find little motherly qualms of panic. But the other part of me is so grateful. He is a sweet and honest young man with a depth of character that is hard to find now a days. There has been no pushing of anything. They haven't asked to be alone, haven't kissed, or even held hands and yet there is obviously a deep devotion growing between them.
Now, I know you might think that I am kidding myself. After all I know when I was a teen I did many things that my parents had no clue about. But really, there is nothing going on between them. Either he is here at our house or they are with their youth group. And for all their social events I am the driver....so I am always around. Those are the only times they see each other.
Where will they be 5 years from now?........who knows. That is not for me or anyone else to say. For now, I am so enjoying watching a simple and pure love grow in my daughter.
Now is one of those times.
My Rosie-girl, who at 15 years old is still so young in the world but becoming more the young woman every day, is experiencing the beautiful buds of love. (Oh my, just writing that sent a flood of emotion and adrenaline to my heart.) This journey, while still very much in the beginning stages, has been coming about for quite a while; and I have been stashing away the signs, signals, and images in my heart.
When she was 8 years old, my Rosie-girl and I were running errands one day and she piped up with this question from out of the seams of thin air, "Mommy when did you know you were in love?" Sensing her seriousness of the matter I carefully asked questions and gave advice the best I could......mother to daughter and heart to heart.
She blushed as she revealed the boy of her affections. Yes I smiled to myself. He was a nice boy, at 8 years old himself he was already showing serious signs of great character, honor, and integrity.
She relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief as I suggested that at 8 years old there is no pressure of expectations or purpose. I suggested that these growing up years are for building relationships and being friends. Don't worry about anything else for there are all too many times when our emotions take over and propel us forward into things we aren't ready for.
She liked that.......growing in friendship........perfect.
I then found out from his mom that the same sort of conversation had happened in their home as well.
Pause for reflection.....................an 8 year old boy was having emotional feelings for my little girl..........
Time went on and as circumstances do at times, his family and ours lost contact for a few years. Nothing had happened. It was just that usual thing of life pulling in different directions.
An occasional mention from a fellow friend here and there was all the contact available. Life went on.
Last year, circumstances changed and it so happened that we became in contact again.
Over time I noticed little things. It wasn't what they were doing but more of what they weren't doing that got my attention and if I didn't know my daughter so well....well then I wouldn't even have noticed that.
What did I see? Well, they would fiddle foot when they talked to one another. They always seemed to know where the other was in a room and yet there was an invisible barrier wall that kept them from getting too close to each other. For example, when talking to other friends they would each stand at the usual casual friend distance. But when talking to one another, that gap increased by at least a foot.
Once when my girl was warming up to play on the drums at youth group, she was having a hard time simply because it had been a trying day at school. Sometimes, as much as a girl tries to conquer her emotions and push through, that night she just needed a small cry to set the day back in order. So, she welled up with tears, excused herself, and went to the restroom to breathe and freshen up.
What I saw next brought tears to my own eyes that I successfully covered. He became alarmed that she was upset. He paced and worried when she didn't come right back. He grabbed her sister and urged her to go to the restroom and not leave her alone.......after all she was in distress and NEEDED to be comforted.
For her birthday, he brought her special candy and a beautiful red (her favorite color) scarf to keep her neck warm. (She has worn it continuously since then and that was 2 and a half months ago.) A few weeks after that, he showed up at worship practice with a pair of gloves to match. He said, "I saw these in the store and knew they would match your scarf perfectly so I had to get them for you." She gave him a smile, a thank you, and a hug while he blushed and smiled his sweet dimpled smile of success.
He often shows up to whatever event with her favorite candy.......just because.
She notices too. She said one day, "Mom he makes a mental note of everything I like." That was followed with serious blushing on her part.
His little tokens are always presented with a humble smile and an air of, "really it wasn't a big deal. I just know you like it."
For Christmas, he trudged through the snow to make sure she received his present in a timely manner. On this day my own heart jumped ten fold. This young man had taken opportunity to shovel snow filled driveways in his neighborhood so that he could earn money to buy her ......a real diamond sterling silver cross necklace.
There was no formality in giving it to her. He didn't pull her aside and look deep into her eyes. He simply did his sweet and humble way of, "I thought you might like this."
She had me put it on her that day and it hasn't left her neck since. I often see her fingers fiddling with it as a subconscious smile plays at the edges of her mouth.
As I look at all of these things, sure on the one hand I find little motherly qualms of panic. But the other part of me is so grateful. He is a sweet and honest young man with a depth of character that is hard to find now a days. There has been no pushing of anything. They haven't asked to be alone, haven't kissed, or even held hands and yet there is obviously a deep devotion growing between them.
Now, I know you might think that I am kidding myself. After all I know when I was a teen I did many things that my parents had no clue about. But really, there is nothing going on between them. Either he is here at our house or they are with their youth group. And for all their social events I am the driver....so I am always around. Those are the only times they see each other.
Where will they be 5 years from now?........who knows. That is not for me or anyone else to say. For now, I am so enjoying watching a simple and pure love grow in my daughter.
(Wow! What an honor! David at Authorblog has made this his post of the day choice. Thank you David for sharing my thoughts and enjoying the adventure.)
I often wondered what happened. Between nappies and bottles, pre-school and first years at school, the girls now are well into their teens. And so often I miss the days when they were so little. Happy weekend Jules :D
ReplyDeleteLove is grand wherever it pops up. My son is in his first serious relationship, and it was so nice to see how they missed each other over the holidays.
ReplyDeleteAn Arkie's Musings
Truly, could you ever ask for anything more for your daughter? My husband and I met on the school bus when we were 16. We married at 20, and we're now middle-aged. Sometimes you just don't have to look any further.
ReplyDeletePeace - D
That is enough to melt any mother's heart Jules, and yes, it looks as though your daughter recognises and appreceiates a young man with sound qualities. Why shouldn't she? She has been raised with love and wisdom enough to instill the respect and admiration for a boy who knows her precious value..
ReplyDeleteYoung love at it's finest!
Young love, and first love, a time of poetry, of blush and panic, blind beauty and intensity. Never again will the blood rush quite so violently, never again will they be so sure of everything.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written, of course.
Jules you and hubby are doing a great job.bring them up in the way's of the Lord.I take back you being a bulldog mum.a eagle mum,keeping an eye on your chick's will alway's be chick's to you. lot of love to all POD.
ReplyDeleteWhat more can I say, but that it warms my heart to hear your story. How wonderful to see such a relationship grow and blossom. And how lovely to see it do so under the banner of a healthy church, youth group, and home life!
ReplyDeleteI remember praying at the table for the special friends my kids would meet and fall in love with one day...it is never too early to be prayerful about all these things!
Bless you all, Annie
Oh Jules this is a truly beautiful story, what a mother could see in her daughter's heart. Let them enjoy their first sparkle of love and see what will happen next.
ReplyDeleteSee, I met dear hubby I was 16 and we are still happy together, family expanding and growing beautifully.
Your blog is really interesting dear.. I enjoyed reading it regarding your girl.
ReplyDeleteThanks Alan for showing me this blog.
This is my first time reading your blog. I enjoy reading and its quite touchy. Thank you Alan for giving me opportunity to see this beautiful blog.
ReplyDeleteYou echoed my own feelings, Jules. Simple as that.
ReplyDeleteYou know, my step-brother and his wife started out this way. They have always and only been together since grade school. They've been married over 30 years now and are still devoted to one another. It isn't impossible.
ReplyDeleteHi Mae asK the Girl's When was their first kiss and who was it with. then tell them who you first kissed,and when.mine was at 5year's when playing train's with two chair's she being in my class, she was taking ticket's and i was the driver she gave me a sweet and then she kissed me still see her to this day.happy day's POD.
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful story of love and friendship at its core. Thank you for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeletelovely Post Jules....the simplicity of pure love..platonic and simple, no complications, l'm quite envious!
ReplyDeleteA truly beautiful post Jules! There's nothing like young love... and the boy seems a very decent chap.
ReplyDeleteI hope they continue to be companions!
Congratulations on Post Of The Day over at David's! X
What a lovely post. It took me back..... sigh!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on POTD
came by way of david...and loved this post... from the daughter perspective. (my girls are 27 and 21...) from the boy perspective (mine is 18 and learned about girls from his sisters) and from the mom perspective which you captured perfectly.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful tribute to love's young dream...may there be many more.
ReplyDeleteif you like food and art take a look at this ladies site's lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06261731875448040555o...
ReplyDeleteI came over from Dave's blog and am thrilled that you are from Portland Oregon, my home town (not my current town however). I am imagining all the driveways I know, all the little jewelry shops, all the church sanctuaries, and one of them just might be part of this story.
ReplyDeleteAnd as the mom of four adult children, my heart is right there with you.
It's so nice to observe with a quiet heart and smile knowing what they are experiencing...it's when their little hearts are disappointed that you just want the days to slow down a bit and the growing up to not be so serious...he sounds like a nice boy and very thoughtful too!
ReplyDelete