As I sat wrapping presents tonight, my mind was wandering to different areas of thought.
One thought was about the wonderful blessing we received in the mail yesterday....our end of year state "kicker" check. (for some reason I always find it really odd when the government gives money back) I had completely forgotten about this little perk. We already had the extra expenses of Christmas planned out and covered, so this blessing doesn't even have that "already accounted for" mark on it yet.
The other major thought riding tandem with this was about my dear friend that was robbed last week. She is a young and beautiful single mom succeeding at raising her daughter alone in a world of hardships. They were both safe and not around when the robbery happened. Many things were taken, including most of the presents under the tree. After the initial shock wore off, she stated over and over again, "It just doesn't matter. It is simply STUFF."
She is right you know. There I sat tonight trying to balance the scales in my mind. I am so happy that we are getting to a place where we can have the freedom to bless others with gifts. And yet, it is just stuff. I have to keep in the foremsot of my mind what my motive is. It is wonderful to bless and provide. But I must be so very careful to not fall prey to that "self" motivator that would want to label myself with pats on the back.
I don't know if I am explaining myself adequately or clear enough. It is just what is going on inside my head.