Monday, December 10, 2007

Decisions...Decisions....

The Christmas letters are ready to be sealed. I just want to put a little card into each envelope with our contact information on it....you know snail mail, current email, the phones.......
I am wrestling with putting this blog in that list as well.

Should it be such a big deal? I don't know. I have decided and undecided 20 times already. You must be wondering why it should even be a questionable thing. A blog is a easy way to keep everyone in the loop with daily happenings. Just a year ago, I thought blogging was a strange new fad and waste of valuable time for 21st century people. That was my opinion at least until my long time friend encouraged me to look bigger and not stifle the creativity. It certainly is fun to comment and visit. I am meeting people I never would have met otherwise and it is really great. I do love to check out how my blogger friends are doing and see what new things they have been inspired to create. I look forward to evenings when I can sit down and be creative myself. So why should I hesitate at throwing my blogger address out there to everyone when it already is available to the entire world?

I think it all has to do with the way I write. I started this site to give myself a small place to be me. Not that I am not me in every other place, mind you. It is simply a place where I can give myself the freedom to write for myself, to be creative and air out my thoughts....whatever they may be. I don't bash or degrade. I just breathe.

There are only a handful of people in my daily life that I have told about this place. Why? Because I have learned that for good and bad....I tend to be a people pleaser. I knew that if everyone knew, I would pressure myself to write with my "Childrens Pastor Hat" on or my "Teacher Hat", my "Mom Hat" or "Wife Hat" on....and so forth........
I felt that the pressure I put on myself would cramp my desire to write.

I know some people would visit and have fun with it while others would use it to degrade and pester. Do those opinions matter so much? No they don't. I am still me with or without those comments. (Funny how there has been discussion here about the idea of sharing comments and opinions.) Comments and opinions are encouraging, eye opening, and broadening. That isn't why I hold back now. I think I hold back because I am finding a small part of me and I don't want me (that pleaser me) to stifle me.

What to do? What to do?....................

7 comments:

  1. 1. I enjoy the new look of your blog! Awesome!

    2. I agree in your thoughts about appearances toward certain individuals who 'view' us in a certain light. Good or bad. It's judging. And this type of judging places the artist - the writer - the individual - the human being in a difficult light. More often, in a light that sits outside the circle of what the other deems "normal." Although God knows our heart - our true motivation for an outlet such as this, we do live in the world.

    I am challenged by it too. Even when I consider that blogging is merely online journaling. It is an creative outlet for me. My writing. About parts of me. All of me. Stuff some may deem trivial, silly, or foolish. Yet, nonetheless, those trivial, silly, foolish things are still a part of me.

    They make up me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello Jules, my Christmas letters are also almost ready to be sent, I have decided to put my blog addresson them, since a blog is open to the world and that means a lot of people! so why not family and friends? those who read it are very supportive but never let comments, the others are simply not interested.
    But your blog is different very creative as you say, if you feel safer with acquaintances not knowing, let them out, don't say and keep your garden secret.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kevin and Kitem....thank you both for your support, encouraging words, and understanding. You both made me smile today.

    C'est tres gentil de votre part.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't worry about what other folks think. Worry about what you think/want as far as your blog goes and let'er rip! Folks always have to options of returning...or not. LOL!

    Gene

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Gene. You are right. This is for me and they can choose to visit or not.
    Here's what I decided...I made two different info cards today. One has the blog and the other doesn't. Depending on whom the envelope is addressed to determies which card gets stuffed. I am sure it will eventually all circulate around someday, but now I don't feel so sheep-ish.
    Haa haa...me the big fence sitter.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jules, You've made some very keen observations about the 'human' factor. I chose to tell several people about my blog because I thought it might be a good 'checks and balances' for me. I tend to say what's on my mind even when it might be considered controversial. So I figured if I knew those that are close to me might read it that I would tend to be a bit more careful about what I wrote. The more I thought about this the more I realized that could be considered a double standard.

    If I wrote to please my potential audience would I truly be revealing who I am. On the other hand If I showed no concern for what I publish would I be a good Christian witness?

    I've come to realize I'll never please everyone, so I'm just going to be who I am and let God hear my heart.

    PS, thanks for the link.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jeff you are so very right. God made us so individual and complex yes. I think about the whole checks and balances every day. God does call us to accountability with each other. It is a main purpose of church...lovingly holding each other up with encouragement. But within ourselves we must be so careful that our motivation is God driven and not for man approval. It is a daily quest for me.
    Thank you for being real and transparent.

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from other. Your opinions and viewpoints are always a blessing and encourage other readers as well.