My step-sister (that still sounds so odd for me to say after all these years) has been exchanging emails with me the past few days. I don't want to read between the lines too much, but I really get the feeling that they have known things were wrong for us for a long time and just didn't know what to do about it. Over and over again she talks about how grateful she is that we came for the funeral and also how much my emails are blessing her. She is encouraging me to really seek out a relationship with my father.
I did call my father a couple of days ago. We had a great visit....he talked. We touched on just about everything I guess; political, military, history, current, and we grazed by heart issues. He is lonely now that things are becoming a reality for him with his wife being gone. He is back to work to keep himself occupied. He says that once he saves up some leave time, he wants to come see us the end of summer or early fall.
Would he really? He hasn't come our way since I was 13 and my parents divorced.
Already I find myself vacilating between making a list of everything I want accomplished around the house (like I need to show him I am an accomplished adult or something) and then swinging the other way to protect myself from the idea that it might be just talk.
Lord, be my filter and balance my thoughts. I need not worry or waste time on tomorrow for you have it all planned already.
Interestingly, it sounds as if your father needs to pray what you did (at the end of your post) to our Father, eh?
ReplyDeleteYou've already proven everything to your Father that you need to, you accepted His Son into your heart proving your love for Him.
ReplyDeleteAs for your earthly father, may I suggest you let your prayers guide your decissions.
Somehow I missed this post!
ReplyDeleteFamilies are really complicated things, my Dad has been married several times, and there have been points where he has been an important part of my life, and times when he has drifted away. I do think though that if a hand of friendship is offered the right thing to do is take it and see where it goes. You don't need to prove yourself to him though, he has to accept and love you for who you are.
Kevin and Jeff...thank you for for your encouragement.
ReplyDeleteMima...thank you also and really thank you for sharing a bit of your personal history.
You are so right. I do not need to prove myself. When I stop and think about it, I know he loves me and is very proud of me.