My step-sister (that still sounds so odd for me to say after all these years) has been exchanging emails with me the past few days. I don't want to read between the lines too much, but I really get the feeling that they have known things were wrong for us for a long time and just didn't know what to do about it. Over and over again she talks about how grateful she is that we came for the funeral and also how much my emails are blessing her. She is encouraging me to really seek out a relationship with my father.
I did call my father a couple of days ago. We had a great visit....he talked. We touched on just about everything I guess; political, military, history, current, and we grazed by heart issues. He is lonely now that things are becoming a reality for him with his wife being gone. He is back to work to keep himself occupied. He says that once he saves up some leave time, he wants to come see us the end of summer or early fall.
Would he really? He hasn't come our way since I was 13 and my parents divorced.
Already I find myself vacilating between making a list of everything I want accomplished around the house (like I need to show him I am an accomplished adult or something) and then swinging the other way to protect myself from the idea that it might be just talk.
Lord, be my filter and balance my thoughts. I need not worry or waste time on tomorrow for you have it all planned already.