I am now into the 3rd week of the girls going to school and me having a lump of time on my hands. I had imagined that I would stand in my house alone, evaluate my day and choices, and then choose something constructive or adventurous to do with my time.
That hasn't happened yet.
Instead I get to the end of my alone time and find I have done nothing at all. The mindless TV has been my companion. All of the house cleaning that I never had time to do before and figured I would attack with zeal......nothing. If it wasn't for the joy of my dad flying in from Texas next week I don't think I would even want to scrub the bathrooms.
I know I am in a transition. This mindless numb feeling will shake off.
I did have a glimmer during my walk yesterday. (hey I am up to 5 miles now)
Instead of rhythmically stepping with an a mind full of emptiness, I did notice a few things and began to compose slivers of thoughts in my head about my walk.
I noticed the smell of fall in the air. I enjoyed the sun in the sky doing it's job, warming the earth and air from a crisp 53 degrees to 74 degrees in a matter of 80 minutes. I recognized that there are many different types of people using the trails along side of me. I saw moms with running strollers, business men biking to work with their suits on, seriously dedicated exercisers, and casual walkers with their Starbucks mocha cup in hand. Cottontails hopped in and out of the trail while morning birds called out their tributes. I even saw a doe with her fawn having breakfast under a tree.
God is good, life continues, and even this season will pass for me. Before I know it, I will be back in a groove and being productive.
This down time is necessary. It will rejuvenate you and clear your mind what whatever is to come next. Remember to listen for God's direction.
ReplyDeleteI believe this is where bon-bons become a vice, and you suddenly find yourself talking about soap operas to your spouse when he comes home, as if the characters are your friends: "Why is Laura having Fred's uncle's baby??! Doesn't she know he's on the lam!?"
ReplyDeleteThere is faith, and then there is FAITH.
You'll be fine, Jules! It's all new and different without your kids around during the day, and God IS there with you!
So you're on your third week with this extra "lump" of time. Is that why you've been blogging so much? Oh wait... you haven't been blogging much. And for what? Television?! (shudder)
ReplyDeleteWelcome back. ;-)
Don't worry, be happy doing nothing, isn't it great Doing Nothing? could you imagine that one day?
ReplyDeleteYou deserve the emptiness and the nothing as you've done so much before, just take it easy, business and occupations will come back to you too fast.
I wish I am your neighbour so we could have our day walk together, how great this would be!
(today during my walk there was a lot of swans on the lake.)
Hi Jules...good to hear you are able to relax a bit before the next part of your life reveals itself.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching all the movies I had missed when my third left school and went off to university, thinking that I was turning into a vegetable...but then I came to the end of all I wanted to see and got on with what ever it was to do!
I love being "available" (and not totally programmed) for whatever it is that God wants me to do that day...like being available for your Dad to visit etc ...(if one doesn't have to go to work)
Annie
ps I must admit that a lot of the time I am so busy that my house only gets cleaned when there are visitors coming too!
Rest awhile.work aplenty is on it way.God Has things for you to do.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and leaving such a lovely comment. Relax and enjoy your time.
ReplyDeleteHello Jules, I am dying to be in your shoes...with the kids off to college and me at home with my garden and rabbits haha...I am quite certain the idiot box TV will be my companion and i'll be watching CSI non stop..if I dont outlive them haha..much love to you, big hugs too :D
ReplyDeleteHi Daily Manna from the Net for Thursday, September 18, 2008
ReplyDeleteThe LORD will grant you abundant prosperity--in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground--in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you. The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. Deuteronomy 28:11-13 NIV. be blessed.
I think it's wonderful that you are so observant to the life going on around you. I have experienced this numbness you are talking about...when my son moved out in July for grad school...but eventually the mornings started to bring an extra zeal that reminded me I was a part of another God-given spectacular day and it was time for me to fill my time with purpose...and so too shall you find your groove...those bathroom floors won't go anywhere...enjoy this time to explore the pieces of you that have been tucked away...
ReplyDeletedo you keep a journal? this would be an excellent time to write...
have a wonderful day ~
You guys are all so wonderful. I had no idea so many sweet and encouraging comments were left. Blogger is doing a silly something with me and isn't sending me comment notifications. I am glad I open my blog today.
ReplyDeleteI worry about you when the kids are married and starting families of their own...I fear you're going to be empty nesting to beat the band! But wait...it gets better...I promise!
ReplyDeletehugs
Sandi
Oh gosh, I'm starting to feel guilty now - I CHERISH the hours when my four are at school (eeeek)!
ReplyDeleteBut looking back at when my youngest first started school, yes, the house did echo for a time. Having home schooled your children all these years, it is only perfectly natural for you to be reacting in this way. Be gentle with yourself, these feelings are totally understandable, but they also will soon pass. You will fall into a new routine soon enough, you'll see!
Had to come by and say hey. It seems like it's been ages since being here.
ReplyDeleteLife, much like our faith, is made up of peaks and valleys. One of the keys is not to get too hung up in either of those places. You'll be fine and things will level out soon enough.
Tis a beautiful thing to let your babies soar. It's a time for you to soar, too!! Take all the time you need to transition through this face, Jules. You'll come out on the other side with flying colors...and many blessings.
ReplyDelete