I went on my walk this morning. It felt so good to hike the butte and smell the fresh air. Everything is green and crisp with Mt. Hood and Mt. St. Helens sitting on the horizon. Kekoa nudged me along and encouraged me to stretch out my stiffened muscles. A few more days and I should be conquering the whole 2 miles just like before right?
This is day 4 of me being back and it still feels strange. It is more than a simple 2 hour time change. It is me learning to let go of certain responsibilities while catching hold of other ones.
Sunday morning I was still foggy from my late night flight but I relished the idea of being at church. With flying in at 11pm the night before and visiting with my family, I didn't think I would jump up and attend first thing in the morning but my sweet Puddin' was on drums and I just HAD to go cheer her on. I hugged as many people as possible in between songs and completely let myself go in the freedom atmosphere and like minded thinking that I had been missing.
Before I even recognised that I would really wrestle with it, God told me that this is a transition time for me. It is a time to trust and know that Daddy is in His hands. It is a time for me to let go and focus on what is in store for me here. I cried and thought, "Ok I can do this" as I cleared away mentally.
But now I find myself swinging back and forth violently with quiet emotions that scream to be in check. I do great until I hear from my cousin or step-sister and then I want to rush back over and fix everything. But now is not that season. Now is the season for them to band together and work their system. Now is a waiting time for Daddy to build up his strength and remember that he can still do some things for himself. Waiting is hard and not knowing what the next step is for 2 more months is agony but they must focus and concentrate on the now.
I wrote a 3 page list of To-Do things every day to help them along. Most of it is doggy medicines and Daddy medicines. They have split the days into "shifts" so that Daddy has the encouragement around whenever he has question about anything. I think that was a really good idea for them to do it that way. Then it is not too much on any one person.
Here, I have unpacked and have begun cleaning the different rooms of our home. Of course Hubby and girls did things while I was gone but it makes me feel more here to have my hand in it too....and things just need a mom's touch. This week is Spring Break from school so all of my "extended" children have been going nuts. Yesterday we started getting the phone calls that said, "I want to respect your time with just getting home but I am really missing you and missing being at your house. Could I please come over?" Too funny. There were 11 around the dinner table last night with 2 more that popped in just to say hi and not eat.
Next week will be time to encourage Puddin' with school, get Pippin on track with college an/or job, and put my head on straight with Children's Ministry. Btu this week is about fun, settling in, and finding my niche again.
I thank you God for special times, for my understanding family, and that You have Your hands everywhere protecting and encouraging my dad.
Have a blessed day!