Daddy is doing really well and bouncing back nicely from that chemo treatment he reacted to. It is actually everyone else that is having a hard time right now. It would be too exhausting and pointless to go into things here and serves no real purpose. Let's just summarize by acknowledging that everyone is raw with emotion and fatigue and has huge territory boundaries on the things they like to do with my dad and I crossed that line. The past few days have been filled with offenses, pretending, crying, apologizing and groveling. I want to throw my hands on my hips and beg the question....."really?......seriously?" But that serves no purpose. The truth is that feelings are valid and real just because they are and I must be more careful.
I was greatly encouraged on Saturday. It was a very hard day for me to push through and I felt quite alienated and misunderstood. God is his grace and mercy though had other ways to encourage me. I answered the doorbell to find 2 women from a local bible believing church just up the road. I told them I was attending my sister's church and they didn't push anything. Instead they offered to pray with me about anything on my heart. I didn't go into details except to say that I am not from around here. I am here taking care of my father who has terminal cancer. They both welled up with tears and circled around me with hugs and prayers and affirmations of love right there on the front porch. It is what I really needed at that moment and I felt God's hug.
So anyway....my uncle and aunt came out for a visit this last weekend. That would be Daddy's brother. They are the last 2 of the 6 boy siblings. It was a wonderful visit for everyone. Living only 9 hours away has afforded everyone to be able to keep in close contact. I on the other hand had not seen them in about 17 years and it was a good time for us to re-connect.
My cousin here made a huge pot of gumbo for everyone to enjoy over the weekend. The funny thing was that my aunt decided to make gumbo and bring as a treat for everyone as well. So I guess we ended up with something of a cook off right? I have containers all over the refrigerator and freezer filled with the southern soupy mix.
Are you familiar with real Louisiana File' Gumbo?
Here, take a gander at this.
I've never made it but I understand that it is a rue based soup that is predominantly meat of every sort and served over rice with bread or crackers on the side. The name File' Gumbo is actually the seasoning that makes it stand out from regular soup. In the back woods you can find everything in a gumbo pot from chicken and opossum to fish and deer along with some celery and onion. This particular batch consists of chicken, ham, sausage and shrimp.
Update on Treatment
Our plan of attack now is that next week Daddy will do the drip infusion chemo treatment at 50% only and take nothing additional by mouth for that cycle. Then in the middle of August we will try the drip and pills at 50% to see how he reacts. Decisions are hard and as carefully as I can I have honestly told him that I understand and support whatever he wants to do. The truth is that his quality of life is 1000% better when he is not on treatment. He has never been one to give up on anything and he silently pushes through treatment as best as he can without complaining but I know it wears on him.
Well I had better get going for now.
Have a wonderfully blessed and destiny filled week.
Thank you for your support and encouragement.