Saturday, September 24, 2011
By nature, I am not a morning person. Laying snuggled under the covers after a late night of reading or video watching is my preferred mode of habit. But there is something to be said of getting up as the day is waking. The smells of a September morning are so rich an full. The air mingles of leaves turning and the last of the blackberries ripening in their thorny homes. Today as I walked, a thick fog rolled out in a blanket that clung to the butte and it seemed to carry its own aroma; a mixture of moisture and the deep dark soil it covered.
As the seasons change, I am finding change happening in my life as well.
I no longer am caring for my sweet precious niece. Her mama followed a conviction to stay home and they are so happy now. I must admit, though I love being around that little girl, God met me with my own conviction that I was trying to help them with my strength and will instead of His. There I was trying to be the all in all for someone else in my own strength and determination but then refusing to listen when I would lament to God that the time for my own desires had disappeared. It does indeed make for a picture easily solved as a spectator but so complex as a participant.
So, this week I have found myself pulling in and re-examining my wants and dreams. I don't feel like the walls are threatening to close in on me anymore.
I have begun to take walks again. That makes the fuzzy boys very happy as well as the benefits of loosening up the joints of this body that doesn't feel as young as my mind intends it to be.
I am thinking about my food choices and using my juicer every day instead of wishing someone else could make choices for me.
My cello doesn't have dust on it any longer and its song is becoming more melodic as the screeching scratches disappear.
Moments have presented themselves this week where I have thought to say in different situations, "sure I can do that" or "let me take care of that for you". But then I feel an imagined slap on my wrist, a tsk tsk in the air and a breath of calming hush come over my spirit.
Thank You God that seasons change.
Thank You that You are patient and ever so loving in Your unending grace and peace.
God bless you richly today in all that you do.