Tuesday, November 1, 2011
18 Years Old
This is a snap shot of Puddin' that I took today. It is her 18th birthday. As if that wasn't enough, she passed her driver's test today and she also became a registered voter. So for all practical purposes, my Puddin' is now considered an adult by society.
We did a party tonight at my mom's house. The menu was all special foods requested by Puddin. It was the oddest combination of comfort foods that are mainstays in our home and consisted of ricee (a sweet steamed rice flour dessert), manapua, grilled cheese sandwiches, mochi, and a veggie platter for good measure. I also made a white and chocolate 4 layer cake for everyone to enjoy. It was a fun evening and she is elated with emotion after a full day of fun, love and honor.
How am I with all of it? I too loved the day and am so thrilled for her. But secretly inside, I am wrestling with this thought of my baby hitting these milestones all at once. When the others that hold my heart hit their milestones, I celebrated each action as a rite of passage. I knew they would make independent decisions that might affect them in the negative and I chalked up the eventuality of it as a future learning experience. This time though, I want nothing more than to put my baby girl into a protective bubble.
Do I not trust her decision making skills? No that's not it.
I think it is because it is a milestone for me as well. When the others made their growing steps, I celebrated with them while in tandem keeping my focus on the younger ones that still needed me.
Do I think I am not needed any longer? No I know that isn't true. As much as I am now 40 years old and still look for the friendship and insight of my own mom, I know I am not about to be cast aside like a worn tennis shoe.
It does however mean that my role is quickly coming to a time of change.
I laugh at myself at this revelation that I always knew would come and yet here it sits on my doorstep with a big surprise bow on it. These seasons of change seem to be coming with more speed, like they are doing a tag team relay and I am the baton that must go each step of the way.
I am so very thankful though. With all of this speed and change, Thank You God that You are the author of it all and You know how it all works together to create a beautiful original work of art.
Here is a thought that I heard on the radio that really makes me pause....
What if only the things I was thankful for yesterday were the things I had today. Then what would today look like?
My goodness, how much that makes me pause and wonder.....in between the "I need this and that" and the "I have to run now".....did I express my thankfulness for my plenty?
God bless you richly this week and know this: You are loved with a mighty love by God and you have a destiny of purpose that is filled with a hope and future.