I married at the age of 18.
Not that age really matters. Everyone said I was mature for my age anyway.
Instantly I had a family that needed me and the picture perfect security that everyone grows up and strives for. I felt like June Cleaver cleaning, cooking, providing a secure, loving, and nuturing home as our children grew.
But now that my youngest girls are ages 15 and 13, I find myself wondering, "Who am I?".
Yes I am a wife, mother, friend, teacher, and all of the other things that daily living entails.
But those things don't define the inner me. God made each of us to have a destiny and purpose that no one else can fill. Life and circumstances will change. My girls will grow up and have families of their own. I won't always be a teacher. In a few short years, I won't have these regular things that consume my days. Life will be different. What will it look like?
No, I am not having a mid-life crisis. I mean, I AM only 36 and remember.... age doesn't really matter.
Also, I do not look so forward on my mental timeline that I forget to cherish each moment that I have in front of my eyes. Each season holds its own special moments and memories and cannot compare to anything else.
Today is just a day where I feel like a 17-18 year old playing house and realizing that one day I must ask myself the question, "Who do I want to be when I grow up?".
That's a question I have heard retired people ask too. They just don't answer it as fast we youngin's do...
ReplyDeleteIf we will ever answer it.