Friday, February 15, 2008

Cannon Beach Again...

"Pippin" and I are getting ready to leave for a weekend at our favorite beach. It is going to be a new experience for both of us.

For Pip, she will be at a training seminar for whale watching. Doesn't that raise the eyebrow in question? Basically, she will be trained to observe the resident pods around here and collect data for research and the general public. She is really excited about it. She and a cohort...oops I mean friend, are doing it together.

For me, I will be alone and that experience bears a bit of explanation. Sure, I have had a couple of hours to do the grocery shopping, watch movies in the bedroom when I am sick, or even walk around a store alone....knowing my husband or children will come walking around the corner at any moment. I've just never been alone.
I moved out of my parents home after high school and got married to my husband. He had three children already and I became an instat mommy.
I have never been out of town alone. Going away has always been for the purpose of family vacations or research for childrens ministry. Both options have kept people constantly around me.
Now don't get me wrong here. I am not complaining or looking for the little violin to play "My Heart Bleeds For You".
I am just finding that as I get ready for this small trip, I have different emotions running through my head and heart.
On the one hand, I am excited for the adventure. I can do what I want when I want. I can explore, walk, hike, craft, and watch the sunset with no questions of "what do you want to do for dinner?" or "what do you feel like now?"
On the other hand, honestly, I feel a bit of.....I don't know....maybe fear. The idea is that I am responsible for myself this weekend. My happiness and activities hinge around me only. Will I be brave and explore or will I chicken out and hide in my room?

1 comment:

  1. Jules, I really hope that you have had a brilliant time, being on your own like that for the first time must have been a bit intimidating, but I hope that you found things to cherish and enjoy, and then you take those special things back with you and share them with the special ones (and hopefully us too!). Its Sunday now - I am a bit behind with catching up, I wish I had got this post in before you went, but oh well). So I hope that it has gone well for you. And a nice surprise for your return, there is an award for you over at my blog!


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