Tuesday, August 5, 2008

He Is My Dad...

I have three fathers......
1) my God whom I often refer to as my Heavenly Father and never leaves me alone because He is in my heart.
2) my Dad who is my parent and biological father. He calls me his angel and we are working on having a real and current relationship that actively involves one another not just in heart but also in thought and deed. He lives in San Antonio.
3) then I have my Dad who became my step-dad when I was 14 years old. He and my mom never had children of their own. My brother and I became his children in all matters of heart and action. How blessed I have been over time for my heart to learn to call him Dad. How many ceaseless times he has proven to be there for our every need and care no matter what the sacrifice. He lives 15 minutes away with my mom and Nana.

My Dad and my Dad. It is funny......I call them the same name. I am sure it is confusing to those around me as they try to quickly figure out which man I am referring to. In my mind, when I say Dad and Dad, they sound different to me because I think in pictures and feelings. It is as different to me as when I say the name "Lonnie" who is my friend's husband or "Lani" which is my mom's dog. Go ahead and say them aloud. Or try Anne Shirley's Anne with an "e" instead of plain old Ann. Doesn't Anne with an "e" feel more eloquent on your tongue? Don't they feel different to you even though you say them the same?

So tonight I am thinking about a conversation I had today with my dad. (Did you hear it? Which one am I referring to? Right, the one who lives here.)
I had been visiting my mom and was leaving to finish the final preparations for my small part of my cousin's store. I couldn't make it all the way up the driveway though because Dad was coming down in his truck. So I backed up to let him pass. We pulled up side by side to each other's vehicles with windows down to give a "Hey how's your day going?" Dad quickly decided that wasn't enough and got out of his truck so that he could come stand by my car and visit a bit more personally.

We spoke of garden projects and airplane fixings (his job). Then he turned subjects on me and asked me what kind of fan I would like in my living room. Sounds like an odd question given the other topics right? There is a story behind it but not one that bears the importance of retelling. Suffice it to say that he got it in his mind that we needed a fan in our living room and more over, he needed to be the one to provide it. I tried to re-direct the conversation plenty of times but, if you know my precious Dad, that is much like re-directing a freight train through a pin hole. There we were, he wanting to freely buy something for us and me feeling the guilt of my Dad using his money on us when I know they need their own things.

Finally I asked why it was so important to him that we have a fan and that he got it for us. With misty eyes and before he realized what exactly came out of his mouth he said, "Because there is so much more I should have done over the years for you all."

I welled up with my own tears as I looked at him and said, "What do you mean? What more should you have done? Your heart was the most precious and dear thing you have ever given me and all I have ever needed."

It was precious and goofy all at the same time as we both donned the "hey why are you crying" badge. We were a sight. I guess we both needed it.

I doubt I have explained it here adequately enough to share the depths of our hearts in the moment but that is okay. I just wanted to share and wish the same special bonds of relationship into your life.

(This post was honored by David at Authorblog for top post of the day. What a blessing for me. Here I was just wanting to journal and not lose track of a special moment and I am finding so many people are blessed by it.)


  1. Bonjour Jules, Thanks for your blessings, they deeply touch my heart, you are yourself a bless friend God sent me from Blogland, I wonder how you found your way to me and I am so happy and grateful for this. See everybody around you loves you and want to show it to you. The story of your two dads is wonderful.

  2. That was touching; I appreciate the relationship you have with your dad, and especially that exchange about the fan.

    Are you familiar with The Five Love Languages? That might be useful for a deeper understanding of WHY you both felt the way you did.

  3. what are dads for think about that . i know i'm one. don't call me P.O.D. for nothing. life is to short just love.thank you JESUS.enjoy all your DADS.

  4. Precious and special -- too many people don't know how to share their real feelings.

  5. ohhh... this was so beautiful and moving... and yes, special.
    thank you for sharing.

  6. Kitem...my dear friend. Your words and kindness always encourage me as well. I love that we found each other. And it all started because I was fresh into learning French and I saw your link on someone else's blog. It caught my attention that you wrote both in French and English.

    Craver...I have always wanted ot read that book. It is on my list of things to accomplish. Maybe with the girl both going into school this fall I will be able to work on that list.
    Right now I am really enjoying working thru Captivating.

    Alan...you are right. Dads are here to love, protect, and provide....all touching and living examples of God's character.

    Quilly...yes sharing feeling is so important. I could be wrong but I think that the lack of sharing how a person really feels is another problem in our society. Really caring about somoeone means really sharing your heart. It means hurting and being vulnerable. Too many people put up a wall of protection. It is instinct to protect but a vice as well. Hmmm it is making me think......

    Polona...thank you for enjoying the moment with me. I had to laugh about it later on. The whole paradigm of us tearing up over a fan....and yet it was so much more. If my mom had not have walked up then, causing us to wipe off and make like nothing was happening but casual talk, how long would we have sat there crying away.

  7. Jules, what a memorable, utterly memorable post.

  8. your rendition of pronunciation reminded me of an email I received once that said "You know it's love when you hear how your name is valued in the other person's mouth"...and it is true...some names just spill love out of our hearts...and that's what you were experiencing in the driveway...*wink.

    you are blessed to feel the love of three fathers...

  9. Your Dad IS precious. So are you. Don't ever stop sharing those moments while you are both lucky enough to have each other.

    I came over here from David's authorblog.

  10. Great post.

    Reminds me of my dear Dad who has just turned 80 - what would we do without them!!!!

  11. David...I am so blessed that my journal entry touched you the way it did.

    Joni...You are right. It is often very easy to hear the love and emotion in how peoples' names are said.

    Carol...Welcome. I am glad you came by for a visit. You are right about sharing those moments. I often find myself thinking about that when balance family time with crazy schedule time. I have a voice that always says..."Enjoy it now because there will come a day when you long to be with them and the time will be gone."

    Jules...Welcome. I am glad you came by. Your father is 80 years old. THat is wonderful. I am so glad that you can still spend time with him and enjoy being blessed by his presence.

  12. That is a sweet and touching post! Well done!
    And now I know which David you mean! :)
    Congrats to you!
    Cheers, Klaus

  13. Hi Jules take a look at my new blog (Ray's place) good humor. click soapbox all will become clear enjoy. love to you and your family.

  14. Aw Jules, this brought a lump to my throat. Beautiful moments like these are to be savoured and stored, this is the true point of what life is meant to be all about, isn't it?

  15. Klaus...Smiles to you. Thank you for coming over to visit. It blesses me that you were touched. I absolutely love your photos on your site. You have quite a talent.

    Alan...ok I will go for a visit.

    Shrinky...welcome. So glad you could come by. You are right. It is the moments in life that are important treasures. It is not the cars, houses, or anything to keep up with the Jones. Memories are our experiences that launch us and shape our lives.

  16. Awwww, I've just popped back in and read through the quotes that inspire you. You are alright girl, you know that? So glad to have bumped in to you along the way. Isn't the net a wonderful thing?

  17. I came over to you from my own comments box where I often see you visit, comment, encourage, and I always feel your smile.
    I am so glad you got POTD for this. What a wonderful post. You are a special person you know?

    Thank you for all the times you have been. I will try to get over and read more often. There is much here I can learn.
    Your gentleness shines through.
    Keep on shining on.

  18. Shrinky...what a sweet thing to say. Thank you for that does bless me. Yes this internet stuff is amazing. I never knew I could get so attached to people on the screen.

    Cathy...my goodness and sweet things from you too. I am so blessed to know that you can read my smile.


I love to hear from other. Your opinions and viewpoints are always a blessing and encourage other readers as well.