I had a phone call from our foster son yesterday. It was a shock to hear from him and good to know that he is still alive. I had not seen him or heard from him since a week before Thanksgiving when he came over asking for a hair cut. That is 9 months.
He told me that he hadn't been in contact with any of us because he was too ashamed to tell how things had been going for him. Then he said he had been living in a tent behind a local market store on the other side of town and eating apples out of the trees for food.
It breaks my heart....at 20 years old that he has been choosing to live that way.
He said he is on some one's couch at the moment and looking for a job. He was calling because he felt things were looking up and he wanted me to know it.
I really hope that this time he uses this opportunity. I pray that this time is the difference and he steps into his self worth.
I know the feeling all to well. There was a time when I knew my son was sleeping behind buildings. Now he has graduated from college with a degree. Living in a cute little place with a baby on the way. It is not easy to let go and let God. But as mother's we need to sometimes step aside. This time a band-aid won't work. God loves him and has a hold of him. He just doesn't realize it. He will come through. And be a better person for it. It is hard to find your way at times, but what is encouraging about this is that he is moving forward.
ReplyDeleteJules -- I have put your foster son on my prayer list. Please, unless his life is at risk, don't jump in and "save" him. The struggle will help him build character and hopefully lead him to realize his own strengths. The longer people intervene for him, the longer it will take him to get it together -- and I am speaking from personal experience.
ReplyDeleteHi Jules i'll be praying for him there are many like him,we need to be there for them. we know that God cares.we can only point them to the way they should go.we in the U.K. have some help with housing.and other benefits but many abuse them. it sad to see the young without little hope .glad to see he is trying to put his life in order. love to him and to all your family.
ReplyDeleteKelly....I never knew that about your son. Thank you for sharing. It is so encouraging to know that things can change from what seemingly looks so hopeless.
ReplyDeleteQuilly...thank you for your advice and the heart to pray for him. For a while it was really a hard thing for me to wrestle with. For 2 years we treated him as one of the family but he walked away with so many growing up patterns still latched onto him. Many times I have had to remind myself that the whole touch love things is not hard hearted but it is a help to him.
Alan...Thank you for your prayers. He is currently in a state subsidized group home to help him. There are many rules to follow (and rightly so). I pray that this time he will really imbrace the opportunity and not get kicked out. I had to really talk him into adhering to the curfew rule the other night and use this time to get on top of his feet.
Yeah, that's a heartbreaker for sure. May God give you (and your foster son) wisdom, discernment and fortitude.
ReplyDeletei have often wondered what makes people do such things... i hope he has learned his lesson and will try to lead a productive life...
ReplyDeleteJules...I knew you had a heart-of-gold. My heart aches for you. But, God put you in his life for a reason. I will keep both of you in my prayers. Tough love is the hardest thing mothers have to do. We took in one of my son's friends for a year. I still worry about him and he's 25 now. Mothers never stop worrying. If only we could really give them wings. I'm glad you posted this here. Prayers work.
ReplyDeleteCraver...thank you so much.
ReplyDeletePolona...everything I see in him is patterns learned from his parents. That is what is most hard to see....someone trying to rise up above a life time of conditioning. But I always ttell him that he is not a victim. He has the choice to set a new path for himself and his future.
Carol...Thank you for your prayers and understanding.