Sunday: I went to church in the morning with my step-sister. It is nice to go and be with others but golly I miss my church family and atmosphere. I keep reminding myself that it is what I make of it and all about spending time with God no matter what goes on around me. Still, churches are different because people are different and all places fit differently to each one of us.
My step-brother and his family came over in the afternoon. It was his last visit as he will be leaving for Baghdad on Thursday. It was a good visit and Daddy really enjoyed being able to sit with him while my step-sister and niece and myself kept the children happy outside.
Monday: Daddy felt well enough to venture out and have me take him to vote for his county primaries. There was no one else in line so it was perfect him to walk right in and perform his civic duty. Afterwards we stopped at Sonic on the way home for food to bring home. Amazing! Daddy was able to eat 3/4 of a child size grilled cheese sandwich without resistance! He felt so very full for the rest of the day but was encouraged at his progress. He hasn't been able to swallow like that it 5 months.
I think that the outing took us about 45 minutes to complete and it zapped all of his energy. Now he is very slow, sleepy, and cold. But progress is progress. He had talked for almost 2 weeks about rearing up to go and cast his vote.
I sold his refrigerator that has been sitting in the garage empty for the past 2 years. Yahoo! Now I have a truck bed hard cover for sale that doesn't fit his current vehicle. I hope it will interest some one soon. It is bothering Daddy to have his garage out of order.
Tuesday: It has been a cold day that actually had snow in the air.....go figure.....snow in Texas just hours from the gulf. Everyone was completely panicked and the city just about shut down because they aren't prepared for that sort of weather like we are up north. The snow melted as soon as it hit the ground but it sure was fun for me to watch. Daddy was cold and cuddly sleepy today. I even snuggled up on the couch with a blanket and lost a few hours.
Wednesday: It has been a big day to say the least. 9am found us across town for Daddy's monthly oncology check up. His appointment went well and we got the go ahead for him to begin his next round of chemotherapy on Monday. We found out today that his current oncologist is retiring in a couple of weeks and Daddy will be assigned a new doctor. Daddy doesn't really know what to think about that. His current doctor keeps a pretty laid back attitude concerning his prognosis by constantly saying that while this type of cancer is considered "incurable" that doesn't mean no one ever gets healed. Daddy is really hoping this new doctor is of optimistic thinking. We scheduled an appointment to meet the new doctor but the closest time available is after I fly back home.
Right now the game plan is for Daddy to receive his next round of chemo and then do a PET scan to see the progress. After that scan, the doctor wants him to wait 2-3 months and then do another scan to see if there has been anymore lesions creep in. If there is nothing new then they will talk surgery. Dr. says that there is no sense in putting Daddy through the hassle of surgery to remove his kidney if the cancer is just going to pop up somewhere else a month later. He says that if the cells are there then they are there and it is just a matter of time.
I don't really agree with that line of thought but Daddy is fine with it. I think it would be better to be aggressive and remove all possible as soon as possible. But the doctor says that they have already been more aggressive than normal for a case such as this. I feel that I am walking such a thin line with it all. Getting care at the military hospital is so much different than civilian living. I don't mean that to sound like it is less than. I have a huge amount of respect for anything military. It is just different.
This afternoon I was able to get rid of the last old carpet from the house. It was in the back bedroom where my step-mom had stayed during her last days of cancer a couple of years ago and it had not been cleaned out since then. The dogs had all wanted to be around her for hours at a time. While Daddy had the care of his wife to think about, that gave the dogs lots of opportunities for puppy potty accidents on the carpet. Whew! I have never experienced a smell that burned my eyes like that. Now the floor is clean, the bed is freshly made, my grandmother's old bedroom set shines from a good dusting, and the sun is pouring through the windows with free invitation. I think my back has definitely had enough for a couple of days but I am very pleased to know that room is fresh.
How am I doing?: I think I am feeling a bit of mental panic in knowing I leave in 3 short weeks. I am trying to get the house in tip top shape for him and I know he is really liking all that I am doing....but I know that he will not be able to keep it up after I leave. I miss my family and home so much....but I worry about what Daddy will do without me here............Resolve: I can't think about that though. I have to reel myself in and keep focus. I am so very blessed to have this time with Daddy and I know that God is here even when I am not. That is where my thoughts must stay.
Our newest postcard:
Julie and Joe,
If you think God is finished with you...think again. God began a good work in you that He will continue until it is finished, when Jesus comes again. Philippians 1:6
Do you see what He is doing? A good work in you.
Do you see when it will be finished? When Jesus comes again.
God isn't finished with you yet!
God bless you!
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