Tuesday at 11pm I ran through all of my normal bed time things: medications for the dogs and one last romp outside. (Conguito killed another cat that night. Goodness I wish those Ferrel cats would stay out of the yard. He turns into such a possessed animal when a cat is in his cross hairs. It's awful.) Then I did Daddy's night medication cocktail and set up his morning dose so I wouldn't have to use my brain first thing in the morning. I also set his feeding pump to run the night. Took out the trash and loaded the dish washer. Shut off the tv and flipped light switches. Then I stood in the kitchen so that lil' grandpa Jito could focus on my feet until he fell asleep. (Because he has Alzheimer's he gets disoriented and scared and that makes him pace and bark incessantly. You may think it is an awful thing to say but between that and his congestive heart condition I have been so tempted to slip 20 Benadryl into his medication plate. But it is so not my place to make a decision like that.)
1am my head hit the pillow. That is how my evenings typically go and I fall asleep without much effort at all.
3:15am I awoke to a crash and Daddy yelling for me. He had gotten tripped over his own feet while getting out of his recliner and couldn't move. After untangling the pump from around his body and moving furniture around we managed to get him standing up but he couldn't put any weight at all in his right leg. It took some firm suggestions on my part but he finally relented and let me call for an ambulance.
4 hours went by in ER and loads of doctors in and out of his room. We did x-rays and found he has a compression fracture in the neck of his femur. Then they sent in an orthopedic oncologist in. It never occurred to me that there would be a specialty like that but I think it is an amazing thing of God that even though it is a rare specialty they would have a doctor like that right at our hospital.
That doctor's concern was that the cancer had settled into the bone. A compression fracture in that area happening from a simple trip fall to the floor is a pretty difficult thing to accomplish and he said the bone in that joint looked like powdered chalk in the x-rays. So we set up for a detailed PET scan and MRI to figure if the cancer has spread beyond the 4 basic points we have been concentrating on. We spent all day processing that thought and wrapping our brains around it. The other thing we did was work feverishly on managing Daddy's pain level. He was beside himself until about 7pm before his body truly started obeying the narcotics.
9:30pm the doctor called Daddy's room with the test results from the PET scan. Praise God! It is not cancer in the hip bone! So it must be that these months of chemo treatment has caused stress and degredation in his bones. Other tests will tell us if there is anything else to worry about.
10pm I left the hospital, took my cousin home, played with the 5 dogs and dispensed evening meds and then hit my pillow at midnight. I woke at 7 this morning in the exact same position.
When I go in this morning I am hoping to have the rest of the results and more of a game plan in mind. The last I heard they were talking about a partial hip replacement tomorrow afternoon.
I have to confess that I was very nervous how things were going to play out yesterday. For Daddy, I knew the doctors would care well for him. My concern lay in being kept in the loop. Even though I am living here and being his care provider, I am not his point of contact nor do I have power of attorney. Daddy set things up months ago for my cousin and step brother both to have those in their names. It is logical. They are both nurses and they live here. Now that I am here I know Daddy doesn't want to hurt any one's feelings and push them away by changing things into my name.
Honestly I worried about being patronized and told to go home and rest. I worried that the doctors would tell me I am not privileged to be in counsel. I worried that big heavy fire security doors with the "authorized personal only" sign would close in my face with me on the wrong side. I could handle the trauma of the fall but I couldn't handle the thought of being shut out.
None of that nature happened though and I am so grateful.
Thank you God for Your grace and mercy.
It's interesting. On Tuesday during the day Daddy got a spurt of energy at home and was moving around like I haven't seen him move in months. He all of a sudden was determined to do some things in his office. He did a stack of birthday cards and bill paying and organizing. While I was watching him I was reminded for some reason of the nesting instinct that a pregnant woman gets before labor sets in. His was on a mission and nothing could stop him. Now I understand why. While I know it certainly wasn't God's will for Daddy to have a broken hip, He did make it so that he didn't lay in that hospital bed frustrated over things not tended to.
Time for me to get going to the hospital.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.
I am so grateful for you!
Be blessed immensely!