Monday, November 22, 2010

My Vision....

Yesterday was Sunday. I was anxious to go to church but apprehensive at the same time. Why?....I don't know. The only pressure I have ever felt there is the pressure I put on myself. Maybe it was because I had my own expectations of how I thought the day should be. Maybe it was because it had been so long since I had been.

It was good to see everyone and even to meet so many new people. 9 months of being gone is a long time. There were many well intentioned people and for some reason I didn't think to plan emotionally for that. I received everything from heart felt condolences to the ones who didn't know what happened and asked if I had fun on my vacation.

By the time worship started I was already wiped out and wanted so badly to simply focus on me and God. What happened next you may or may not believe but I will describe it the best I possibly can.
I couldn't tell you the song we were singing now even if I tried. I just know it was something about dancing with angels. I wasn't hoping for anything. I wasn't asking for anything. But for a split second the ceiling and sky opened up and I saw Daddy in heaven. It happened so fast and so brief I barely had time to gasp.

I couldn't tell you what he was wearing or even how old he was. He was the same but he was different. I can't find words that describe how he was. I simply knew it was him. He was running and laughing and he looked at me and winked with that characteristic sparkle he always had. In that split second I felt his joy and peace....that joy and peace of being with Papa God in complete perfection.
Oh what an amazing feeling.
What an amazing gift.
I could have gone the rest of my life with the satisfaction of knowing he is in heaven without being given that image. I have been learning to adjust to the last images I have in my mind of him being so weak and feeble, hearing his caged and garbled breathing echo in my head for days even after he was gone; those sounds so strong to me that I caught myself wondering how everyone could be so relaxed in the next room while I could hear him struggling so.

But God gave me this gift. I don't know why but He did.
Some would say it was my imagination. It was my way to cope.
But I know what I saw and I know what I felt.
I am telling you, there is so much more for us than what we know in our every day world.


  1. I want to dance with Papa in heaven!
    But I am so happy I can dance in the spirit with him now.
    I love you friend

  2. Welcome home, Julie! Thank you for sharing your vision! That is TOTALLY REAL! I believe that with all my heart! It was a gift from the Father for you just when you needed it the most!
    Not to mention, what you shared about seeing your dad was a special comfort to me as Sunday was one of the hardest days I’ve had missing my dad.
    I also had a little peak at my dad the day he died. I’ll share with you in person some time.
    I’m sure many have told you how much you were missed but I would like to say that I missed you!!!
    Your loving, gracious presence could never be replaced by anyone…
    I look forward to catching up with you again.
    Much love to you and your amazing family!

  3. UGH! Ok, new rule.. I REALLY have to stop reading these at work. Thankfully my coworker ran to the store, so I'm here by myself. You have SUCH an amazing gift for writing that I not only hear the story, but can really connect and feel your heart in whatever the situation. Gah, amazing tears of joy for you. Daddy God, just wanted you to know that your daddy is having well.... word can't describe it actually...I won't even try from fear of minimizing it.
    Love that! Did God HAVE to show you that, were you in a place where you couldn't go on living if you didn't see it. Doubtful. But because He knows our hearts better than even we do.... He knew how precious a gift it would be to just open the "curtains" for a quick peek.
    Ok, I can't respond to these either.... I'm a mess over here. lol.

  4. That was a true Damacus Road experience. You are really lucky you got to see it. It does encourage us all with the race we are running.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  5. Julie,
    God is so amazing! I’ve been wondering how you and your whole extended family are doing. We always knew he was going to heaven, I’m glad you were able to see him there. Hope you are enjoying the snow. We are supposed to get a cold front over the holiday. God Bless, Tara

    Oh Julie, how amazing for you~ I cried as I read it knowing that the LORD truly did open up the heavens for you. I am so happy for you. God loves you soooo much!
    Love you very much!

  6. Hello Julie

    Sorry i got off track with you couldn't find you i was wondering where were you so i had to go back to all my post to find your link again ..I have to add myself in your follower link so i wont loose you again.

    How are you doing dear?

    Missing you !
    Have a beautiful week!

    Sabi Sunshine

  7. Oh, what a wonderful gift!!! I'm so thankful to God for you!!! You've been much in my thoughts and so I was stopping by to see how you were doing...and I'm so glad I did! Sending you love and hugs, Janine XO


I love to hear from other. Your opinions and viewpoints are always a blessing and encourage other readers as well.