Have you ever wanted to do something but held yourself back because of how you thought people would react to your decision?
I have. Honestly it was a battle with my own self as much as it was a battle in how I thought others would be.
But no more. I did what I have desired to do for a good four years.
I got a tattoo.
Excited? Strange? Curious? Shocked? It is okay. You are probably wearing one of those emotions right now. I know because they are feelings that I have worn as I have thought through the idea of actually getting one.
Over the years I have thought about what I wanted to do with a tattoo and then chastised myself for wanting something that is "meant" for those young people. I worked through the fears of the pain inflicted and the scoffing of how it would change shape along with my body in age.
Two months ago my daughter got one and I was thrilled for her, excited that she followed through in what she wanted, blessed at the spiritual significance she gave it, and a little jealous that she wore it so well. Still I vacillated back and forth. I knew what I wanted and why I wanted it. I just had to get the guts to do it.
I woke up this past Monday morning and decided that was it. Do it or let go of it but stop going back and forth looking at it as a "some day" kind of thing.
It is still in the process of healing but I couldn't wait any longer to share.
It is small but carries great significance to me. No, your eyes are not deceiving you. It is a word, but it is not written in English. It is written in Hebrew. I took it from Isaiah 62:4 and is translated to say "Hephzibah" which means "My delight is in her". I put it on my right wrist because of Isaiah 41:13 which says, "For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!"
And I chose to make it a single pink color instead of the typical green or black tattoos you most often see because pink is a spiritual color of joy and celebration.
I was shocked with myself when getting it. I have thought myself pretty forward thinking and try so hard to have convictions that are scriptural based and not people based. Still, I surprised myself when I was sitting in the chair waiting for the artist to begin. I was super nervous at what it was going to feel like and of course incredibly excited at doing what I have wanted for so long. Adrenaline was coursing through my body like crazy. I thought, "Oh my gosh I have to calm down or I won't be able to keep still". So I thought I had better pray to calm down. I started to pray and then a voice in my head said, "Why are you asking God for help? He isn't going to listen to you. You are getting a tattoo. Shame on you."
I had no idea I still had such a silly notion still floating around inside my head.
I was taken back for a second and paused in prayer before recognizing it for what it was and said, "Good grief that it sad. Shut up religious spirit. God isn't a law god and me getting a tattoo doesn't close His ears or take away His love."
God loves people for who they are in their hearts, not what they look like in skin and clothing.
I'd like to save up my money and do another tattoo sometime in the next few months. I'd like to do something small and delicate on the side of my foot.
Okay, I'd love to discuss this more but I want badly to get this posted before I leave for church this morning.
Thank you for sitting with me and listening.
God bless your day and feel His joy all around.