Wednesday, April 13, 2011

72 Hours.....

Sunday night my mom's little girl dog became very ill. An emergency visit led us to finding out she developed a sudden case of Addison's Disease. After much worry and big vet bills we were able to bring her home yesterday with a new plan for daily diet and monthly medication that will help her to live and long and happy life. I am so grateful. That precious little fuzzball brings my mom so much joy.

Monday Pippin and I made the hour drive to look at a car for sale at the same dealership where Hubby and I bought last December. It ended up being an all day event but well worth it. Our "friends" at the dealership did us fair and honest in giving our daughter a good deal for her first big purchase. I am excited for her and tinged around the edges with that odd parental feeling of seeing my little girl grow up jsut a bit more as she takes those "rights of passages" steps to full adulthood.

Last night our foster son came back to touch base with us after being out of contact for a while. He has hit bottom (hopefully) and has been clean for 2 days. He sat with me last night crying at the realization of his choices affecting his life as well as others who love him. He made the first phone call last night to checking himself into an inpatient treatment program and then slept on our couch feeling safe for the first time in a long time. I played worship music all night and prayed over him to stave away the nightmares and withdrawals.

Today I pray for straight answers and strength for him as he follows through with the next steps. I pray he can get into a program quickly.

Last night and this morning was also a time for young teenage drama with friends of my youngest daughter. Multiple phone calls with cries of 'Mama Julie this......' and 'Mama Julie that....' left me frustrated. I love them and I know they are only trying to wrap their heads around what they are capable of. But goodness all I wanted to do was scream 'Get over yourself! Enough with your petty self serving attitude! There is so much more to life than your small event!'
But that serves nothing but my own emotions. Nothing ever gets better by lashing out in emotion.

So here I am focusing on this thought.......Breathe in for it is a new day and new days bring new hope and renewed expectation.

Thank You God that I don't have to do things in my own strength but can look to You to tackle anything that comes my way. Thank You that You are in charge and Your plan and promise says "I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (Jeremiah 29:11)

This song has been my constant for the past few days. In my head, in each breath, as my thoughts drift in sleep.....this is what I hear........

I pray that wherever you are, no matter what you are doing, you know that you are loved and special. You have a purpose and a destiny that no one and nothing can take away from you. You have an amazing identity filled with love and joy and celebration.

Sunday, April 3, 2011


Have you ever wanted to do something but held yourself back because of how you thought people would react to your decision?
I have. Honestly it was a battle with my own self as much as it was a battle in how I thought others would be.
But no more. I did what I have desired to do for a good four years.

I got a tattoo.
Excited? Strange? Curious? Shocked?   It is okay. You are probably wearing one of those emotions right now. I know because they are feelings that I have worn as I have thought through the idea of actually getting one.

Over the years I have thought about what I wanted to do with a tattoo and then chastised myself for wanting something that is "meant" for those young people. I worked through the fears of the pain inflicted and the scoffing of how it would change shape along with my body in age.

Two months ago my daughter got one and I was thrilled for her, excited that she followed through in what she wanted, blessed at the spiritual significance she gave it, and a little jealous that she wore it so well. Still I vacillated back and forth. I knew what I wanted and why I wanted it. I just had to get the guts to do it.

I woke up this past Monday morning and decided that was it. Do it or let go of it but stop going back and forth looking at it as a "some day" kind of thing.

It is still in the process of healing but I couldn't wait any longer to share.
It is small but carries great significance to me. No, your eyes are not deceiving you. It is a word, but it is not written in English. It is written in Hebrew. I took it from Isaiah 62:4 and is translated to say "Hephzibah" which means "My delight is in her". I put it on my right wrist because of Isaiah 41:13 which says, "For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!"
And I chose to make it a single pink color instead of the typical green or black tattoos you most often see because pink is a spiritual color of joy and celebration.

I was shocked with myself when getting it. I have thought myself pretty forward thinking and try so hard to have convictions that are scriptural based and not people based. Still, I surprised myself when I was sitting in the chair waiting for the artist to begin. I was super nervous at what it was going to feel like and of course incredibly excited at doing what I have wanted for so long. Adrenaline was coursing through my body like crazy. I thought, "Oh my gosh I have to calm down or I won't be able to keep still". So I thought I had better pray to calm down. I started to pray and then a voice in my head said, "Why are you asking God for help? He isn't going to listen to you. You are getting a tattoo. Shame on you."

I had no idea I still had such a silly notion still floating around inside my head.

I was taken back for a second and paused in prayer before recognizing it for what it was and said, "Good grief that it sad. Shut up religious spirit. God isn't a law god and me getting a tattoo doesn't close His ears or take away His love." 

God loves people for who they are in their hearts, not what they look like in skin and clothing.

I'd like to save up my money and do another tattoo sometime in the next few months. I'd like to do something small and delicate on the side of my foot.

Okay, I'd love to discuss this more but I want badly to get this posted before I leave for church this morning.
Thank you for sitting with me and listening.

God bless your day and feel His joy all around.