There are many different angles to look at, so I went to bed last night with the wheels in my head still spinning from the accounts of the evening. I kept seeing the faces of the people that had a hard time accepting a simple act of kindness. As I absorbed it all, my friend tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Are you so different from them?"
Boy did that hit me square in the face. Throughout that evening, it was almost like we were doing a behavioral study on human emotions. It was so easy to comment to others in my group that it was shocking to see people feel so awkward to receive something without earning it. Yet, God reminded me of occasions when I have been that very person.
-How many times friends have wanted to help ease my load and I have insisted that I am strong enough to do it myself.
-A local orthodontist and oral surgeon both forfeited roughly $6,000 and donated 100% of their services and care to our foster son when he needed braces and we had no means of providing that care.
-I can think back to times when we couldn't even squeak out a week-to-week living and my parents would bring over bags of food. How grateful and awkward we felt standing there being able to do nothing but receive...at the same time fighting back the feeling of being ashamed at not being able to do it ourselves.
What is it that makes us so? People that want to be kind.....WANT to be kind. They aren't being put out by their own desire. They simply want to do it. So why does the receiver feel so bad?
I think it is vulnerability. To receive something....anything......a person must momentarily put down their guard and admit to themselves that they can't do 100% of everything all of the time. It is definately something for me to think more about.