It ended up being several hard days in a row for Daddy. But he seems to be through it now. He had gotten into a cycle of being in severe pain and nausea. It kept him from being able to take his meds...which made the pain and nausea worse....and the cycle went on for a few days before I really felt we were getting on top of it. Today I have been able to back off of his morphine by half and it is good to see him perky and talkative again.
On the worst day I had my cousin come over a couple of times to administer IV fluids. Gosh, I just can't imagine what things would be like if we didn't have her. Time and time again the nurses at the hospital "wash their hands of being held liable" as they give me the bags to bring home. I am told my cousin could lose her job and license if something went wrong. But she is an ICU nurse and the oncologist has complete confidence in her ability. Chemo patients that are not able to have this opportunity at home.....I don't know how they make it through treatment. There has only been 2 days since I have been here where Daddy has not needed the "pick-me-up" of 1000cc of saline.
Yesterday morning I went downtown to the Social Security office to do the next step in filing for his full disability benefits. Due to the nature of esophageal cancer, he automatically qualifies. But still we have to walk the paperwork through and take all of the necessary steps.
I was very impressed with my appointment. I must admit that I had some predisposed opinions in my head of what it would be like. I thought....hours of time lost, government red tape, hassle and attitude with everyone passing the responsibility buck. In actuality though things went very quickly and pleasant. My representative even gave me advice on other things without me soliciting for information.
Yesterday we received news that our new grand baby is going to be a big sister. I bit my tongue to keep back the obvious sarcasm that wanted to say, "Honey what are you doing? Abbigail is only 3 months old! Don't you know how this works?" But being sarcastic doesn't solve anything and only makes more hurts. So instead, "Yes Honey. I know you are scared. I wish I could hug you right now. We will be praying for the health of mama and baby and peace in your home."
And I do pray for them indeed. There are 4 children now in their blended marriage (ages 9 yrs, 4 yrs, 2 yrs, and 3 mos.) and his wife has had medically severe and dangerous pregnancies all four times.
I decided with the rain and cold, I needed something comforting and yummy to have baking through the house when people visit. Looking through a widower's pantry is an interesting job but for whatever reason I found 6 cans of pureed pumpkin. Armed with that and a recipe I found online I came out with 2 dozen Pumpkin & Carrot Cream Cheese Swirl Muffins.
I ate a few today (oh my gosh it is all I've eaten today. I better make a salad for dinner!) and sent a plateful home with my step-sister. Maybe the yummy smells will entice Daddy to try a few crumbs tonight.
Father God, I thank You for Your presence and Your joy. Thank You for your guidance and peace. Thank You that You orchestrate all things together and I don't have to think about it all because You have it under control.