And he said the most precious thing to me in his deep southern drawl. (typed in italics because somehow that makes the southern accent more prominent in my mind.) "Do ya know who ya sound like? Ya sound like how she would'a sounded if she had ever owned a northerly accent. And she had an elderly flare to her voice but don'cha talk just with that same soft grace that she always had. Yep ya sound just like Grandmother."
Instantly tears came to my eyes. Sigh....
I dreamed of Grandmother yesterday. Daddy and I were in the sun room doing crosswords and Sudoku puzzles and I fell asleep in my chair. All of a sudden Grandmother was there talking with Daddy. I couldn't hear all they were saying but Daddy asked her how it was that she was able to be sitting there when she had been gone from this world for so long. Her reply was, "I am here because I love you and just because I can."
Then I woke up and Daddy was staring at me and smiling with that parental expression that says, "that's my little girl". It never occurred to me until just now but I wonder if I was smiling or talking or something to warrant his attention. I shared my dream with him and he was touched. Sitting there a few more minutes and the emotion of my dream came so strong that I had to go find a corner and cry.
I am not going to debate the scriptural ramifications of anything here with my dream. I only want to say that I was utterly overwhelmed with how real it all felt.
Daddy is doing well. We went to see his doctor for a check up a couple of days ago. His symptoms are once again disappearing from the chemo treatments and now we are trying to decide if he will begin again this coming Monday or wait one more week. Once he does begin treatment again, we will only do the Xeloda strength at 75%. If he reacts again then we will cut it to a full 50%. It doesn't really mean anything bad to cut the strength of the medication back. It just means that his metabolism doesn't need as much of it as some people.
Daddy's scan came back great and we were really encouraged. Nothing was smaller in size but nothing had grown in size either and there were no new masses. That is really good news and Daddy was relieved. He has been off the chemo for so long now and I know he was silently worrying that it would give the cancer opportunity to advance.
Our quality of time together is changing and growing. Each morning I read to him from a devotional that my brother and sister-in-law sent to us. In the evenings we either fill in more pages of the Father's Legacy journal I bought for him or we listen to Bible audios. Someone had purchased The Word of Promise for Daddy a while back. He has been anxious to listen to it but his little stereo didn't want to accept the mp3 format on the Cd's. Remember the mp3 player I was blessed with last fall in preparation for coming to Texas? I loaded the whole New Testament onto it and we have it plugged into a small docking station that my cousin gave me. He falls asleep to it every time but that is okay. I figure that his spirit hears it all the same and helps to bring him peacefulness.
I have got to be the most spoiled wife in the entire world. Father's Day weekend my husband called me and suggested that I needed to go purchase that coveted e-reader I had been drooling over. He certainly didn't have to tell me twice.
It has taken me a few days to learn the ins and outs of things but I am really enjoying it. I have loaded 18 books onto it so far. Why 18 already? Well because I can. Most of them are free classics that I have always enjoyed and have used them as a learning tool in figuring out my new toy. I have even named it Sir Leonard. Why? Because I can. There is a slot for naming and personalizing the device in the personal profile summary. And the girls and I always name our tech things because we think it is funny.
Well I better get back to my chores. Thank you for sitting with me and having a visit. I pray that you have a blessed and wonderfully loaded destiny filled day of purpose and presence.
post script: It has now been decided that we will wait another 10 days before starting chemo again. So that gives Daddy until July 7th to build up more strength. I will have to see what kinds of things I can cook and tempt him with.