How am I doing? I get asked that a lot and my answer is that I am fine. My answer always brings on a barrage of pep talks encouraging me to take care of myself and the slight whispering hinted idea that I can be truthful with whomever is doing the asking. But really I am fine......until I am not. It hits me suddenly even when when I have recently accessed myself in knowing I am fine. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I worked hard at joking around with the others helping out and stayed diligent in focusing on goals. But every now and again a wave would flood up from my heart without warning and I would find a secret corner to breathe.
I truly don't mean to do it but I have found that my mind is clicking away each hour like something of an abacus. I watch Daddy each day and without realizing what I am doing I begin to mentally calculate how well I think he is in comparison to how long I know I can be here. From the very first doctor report a few months ago, the cry of my heart has been that I want to be here....I need to be here. Now the urgency that I feel in picturing myself next to Daddy as he walks away with Jesus is such a consuming emotion. I don't know if it is driven by the fact that he is my daddy or if it is a given spiritual knowledge from God. I am too close to know the difference right now. I want Daddy to be here as long as possible but at the same time I have such a pleading cry that rises up within me saying please don't make me go home and leave Daddy in a hospital bed.
But enough about that for now. Other things have been going on as well. Daddy has been insistent that we have some fun while here, "because you can only stare at a sleeping old man for so long."
Saturday was my niece's 27th birthday and we all gathered at Magnolia Pancake Haus for a celebration brunch. I took great joy in making a love bag for her. I bought her a bracelet with a remembrance card that talked about the importance of love and family in our hearts and then I filled her gift bags with Hershey's Hugs and Kisses for her to grab whenever she needs a reminder of how much she is loved and York Mint patties because she is "worth a mint".
It was very hard for Daddy to make the trip but he was determined to be there and love on his grand daughter. He ate a healthy sized plate of french toast and bacon and was able to taste a bit of the bacon so that was good.
Here is a picture of my girls with the birthday girl.
We all gathered for Hubby to take a picture of everyone.
The back row is my cousin (the ICU nurse) and her husband,
my step-sister, then myself and Puddin'.
The bottom row is Daddy, my two nieces and Pippin.
After church on Sunday, we took our girls to El Mercado for shopping adventures and souvenir thrills. For their friends they bought the most perfect ......... awe I can't say here because they read it. :-)
But we did get hats.
I fell in love with a classic Austin style cowboy hat
that will be great for my hikes back home.
Puddin' and Pippin picked out hats that suited their styles perfectly
as well and I think they look adorable.
On Monday we spent the day at Sea World. We had fun fun fun....until we were tired of having fun. The best fun of the day for me was a new show they have just started with the beluga whales. It is something of a Sea World meets Cirque de Soleil . There were acrobats jumping off spring boards into the water, belugas and porpoises flipping and parrots and macaws flying back and forth on cue. It was amazing!
Puddin' found a cuddly penguin that quickly became
her forever friend because of his huggability.
waited for Hubby and Puddin' to get off a roller coaster ride.
I had so much fun taking this picture of Hubby and Puddin'.
At the end of the day we found ourselves at the local bbq specialty to fill up our hungry tummies after all that walking. The place is called Rudy's. To eat there, you simply go up to the ordering bar and choose how what kind and how much meat you want and they carve it for you on the spot and wrap it in butcher paper. Along with your meat you pick out complimentary sides like coleslaw, beans, or peach cobbler. It all gets loaded into a crate for you to carry and you go find a spot to sit on one of the many picnic tables available. Be sure to grab more butcher paper and napkins because they are your plates. huge bottles of Rudy's famous bbq sauce are found at every table so that you can smother your food as much as you want. It was really good and totally hit the spot for satisfying our hunger.
Well, I had better get back to laundry and such. Tomorrow the girls get on a plane to head home and I better make sure they are ready.
Thank you so much for your support and your prayers.
I pray that you have a blessed and purpose filled week full of destiny and love.