Now Is It Final?.....

If I keep staring at the computer screen will it make things any easier?

I received my inheritance money today.
The amount doesn't matter in the least to me except for the feeling of respect and gratitude in how my father worked with the sheer purpose of leaving something behind for the six of us children.
That thought didn't hit me though as I sat in the car holding the envelope tonight. My only thought was that it is so final.

It is not that having or not having that check would make anything different. Daddy is in heaven and I have a heart filled with memories from the last year with him that I treasure more than anything money can buy. For some reason though, holding that check makes things seem so much more final than they did before.....not that it wasn't all final before. 
It is confusing.
It is a feeling and feelings are rarely orderly.

I feel a huge responsibility in what to do with it. I am scared to cash it, scared I will make decisions in spending and investing that I will wish I didn't do later on.

Wisdom, Father God how I am seeking your wisdom.