Never Say Never.....and Champoeg Park.....

I'm back and feeling great! Praise God! Gosh how grateful I am to feel energy to do things....and just in time too. It has been quite an adventure packed weekend with teen and family stuff going on every hour of the day.

Why was I so sickly? It turned out to be the new "supplement", a prescription from my doctor. (You were right Quilly and my blogger family. Thank you for your cheers of encouragement.) All of those 'rare side effects' built up and tried to have fun over a period of time. I think we have it all figured out now because I feel great.

I learned something about myself while being sick. I learned never to say never. I didn't learn it from anything like, 'I'll never eat jello again' or 'I'll never sleep so much again' or even 'I'll never watch a whole season of Smallville in one sitting again'. Instead, my never say never was based on a pre-sick statement.....'I'll never leave the house in pajamas.' I know, it is silly. All last week I took "Pippin" to school while wearing my big coat over my pajamas....and I didn't care.

So, enough about last week.

We had a picnic this afternoon at Champoeg Park with the in-laws. It was a great way to round out the weekend. The skies gave us a reprieve from the chilly rainy weather and let the sun warm our faces ever so gently.

My hubby and I took a wonderful walk along the water front. My heart filled with gladness as I listened to the waters bubble and the birds sing their sweet songs. I inhaled deeply and could not get enough of the spring smells that abound. Here in the northwest during this time of year, the air is filled with a mixture of blossoms, pines, firs, and blackberry buds. As last year's leaves mix with the earth and the sun gently warms it all together, the fragrance carries memories made and ones yet to be shared.

Here is a memory made today that will be thought of for a long time to come.

This little guy must be quite used to being fed around the picnic tables. He felt so 'at home' with us that he climbed up onto "Rosie's" tummy to eat his lunch of potato chips.

No cropping or zoom lens here. He was so friendly that I was able to lay on the ground with some food in front of me and click away with my camera.

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(personal note: David at Authorblog honored me a 'blog of the day honorable mention' for this post. It is a humble honor!)

ugh.....

whine.......whine.....whine....
I haven't really been around because my energy is so very gone. What is wrong with me? I really would like to know.

I can only get warm if I huddle under our quadruple thick mink blanket from Korea or stand in the shower with only the hot water and no cold turned on. But as soon as I get up, the chills hit again. Yet I have no fever.
I also keep having waves of nausea, aches, and shakes.

No I am not pregnant. That would be impossible....and that is not denial talking.

But for some dumb reason I keep pushing through. I had a usual full weekend of stuff to do: TIP volunteering on Saturday, youth music jam session at our house also on Saturday, church and meetings on Sunday. At my meeting, my body gave up and rid itself of lunch and I was able to sleep for a bit on our host's couch. Very productive meeting.

Maybe it is a combination of exercise, new diet (weight watchers), a new "suppliment", and some elusive bug that hasn't shown itself yet. Whatever it is....be gone already!
"I have not the time to be down", I whimper as I decide it is time to lay on the couch yet again.

Be Still the Storm....

We all make choices and decisions in every day living and raising a family. Along the way, we can sometimes look back and say, 'boy I wish we did that one differently'. One of those times for us has been the idea of credit and bills piling up on the counter. Braces, cars, credit lines....where is the line between 'must haves' and 'like to haves'? They were our choices to make, some good and some bad and we take full responsibility for them. So, for the past 3 1/2 years we have been working hard, very hard, at clearing it all up. For the most part, things have gone well and we are looking forward to the time when we aren't so restricted.

Occasionally there is a hiccup; a wake in the water that rocks our boat as we move along these waters. Hubby will pull a couple of extra shifts at work and then the waters smooth out again. The past couple of months though, several unexpected hiccups have splashed in front of us. As water does when it splashes, it got heavy and began to really pull us down.

It had been weighing on me and changing my thinking. I knew that if we could just surface once more then we could keep on sailing to the finish line. But how would we ever get back above water? I began to scold myself for being at home. Not regretting the time I spend with the girls and everything else I do, but regretting not doing anything for a paycheck. I had scolding thoughts that Hubby works had every day while I bring nothing home but a smile. How selfish it is of me to be looking forward to some quite time in the fall.

Yesterday I started looking online for part time jobs. I figured if I took a night job then I could work while they slept for a few months and then everything would be okay. I just needed to get us back on track. I also knew that I wouldn't tell anyone about my plans because I would be scolded.

I had a voice that kept quietly reassuring me saying, "Do not worry. God sees and it will be okay."

"I know He takes care of us", I said. "But I must make an effort too."

I kept flashing to scenes of people/friends in my past jumping up and down saying, "God put the money in our mailbox. It came when we were least expecting it and when we needed it the most!"

While I have always been genuinely happy for those people, I didn't believe I could be one of those people. Even after all of the wonderful things that have happened to us, I didn't believe.

Last night, I received a package in the mail from my father. Enclosed were a few things that he had been meaning to send me and a small note.

I was and am so overwhelmed. Thinking back to December when I flew out to be with him, God had provided for my plane ticket and now here was the amount almost 6 times over again. It is enough to get us back on track so that we can focus on that finish line.

There I sat, and still sit, with revelation upon revelation of emotions. I know God sees what I do, but He really SEES and understands that I am tired. It was confirmation that what I do at home IS important, more important than a paycheck. I know God provides, but He REALLY provides. I know my father loves me and wants our relationship to grow and move forward, but he genuinely REACHED out and desired to bless me without even knowing our current situation.

So, here is me full of confession, humility, and gratefulness.

Office Hours...

This sign was posted on the office window at the RV park that my

in-laws are staying at while they are here in town.

I think it doesn't get any better than this.

Can You Hear Me Now?....

Things were winding down after all of the unexpected circumstances of Saturday. "Rosie-girl" asked me if she could go for a quick exploration up on the butte before the sun went down. It was fine with me as long as she kept my cell phone with her for the 'in case of's'.

When the sun had set and things were getting dark, I decided to call her and see if she was just about home. After three unsuccessful tries with her not answering, I threw my shoes on, grabbed hubby's cell phone, and a flashlight. I met her at the gate of the park. She was walking slow and her head hung down. One quick look over and I knew....her slowness wasn't because of any pains. It was fear and trepidation.

"Mom....ummm I am really sorry but I uh......lost your cell phone. I've been trying to retrace my steps but I just don't know where it is. I...I......I am really sorry."

Several things ran thru my head:
How are we going to find it in the dark?
This park is almost 600 acres!
If we wait until morning will the night moisture ruin it?
How charged was the battery?
All of the data! Private numbers and everything.
The cost of a new phone.

I sighed, smiled, and then told her it was all going to be alright. We went back home just long enough to grab "Pippin" and head out to search. Our plan of attack was to re-trace her steps and listen for it as we took turns calling with the other phone.
By the time we were half way up the hill, it was pitch black and searching seemed to be quite pointless. And yet, "Rosie-girl" was desperate. Even though I couldn't see her in the darkness, I could feel her guilt and it crushed me.

I couldn't give up yet. So, I chose instead to pray. I said out loud, "God I know it is a material possession but it still matters to me. I could live without it but I would rather not. It is dark and the park is empty and scary. If you could please help us, I would be so grateful. Could you make someone hear the phone and pick it up to answer it? That would really be wonderful."

Then "Pippin" decided to call the phone again. Guess what? Someone answered it!
Two teenage girls had lost track of time in the park and were trying to make their way down the main path when the saw the small light off the side of the path and heard a sound.

We met up with them in the parking lot. As they handed my phone over, the low battery warning sound started to beep. I laughed and told the girls over and over again how much God had just used them to answer prayer.

And as if the idea of answered prayer wasn't enough for me, on the way down "Rosie-girl" said something that warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

"Mom you had every right to freak out and stuff but you didn't. Thank you for just listening to me and staying calm."

I could have freaked when she first told me about my phone being MIA. I was certainly tired and drained and no one would have blamed me. But I chose not to.

My mind instantly traveled to future "talks", those talks where she will confide in me with a little bit more assurance because she knows I will do my best to listen and not freak out.

Thank you God...........thank you.