The Real Focus...

I am going to step into a sticky topic here because I simply want to share it......
That topic is ... my church.
Why is that a sticky topic?
Well, because as sure as people are people, everyone has an opinion, a feeling, and an experience.

It has now been a little over 7 years since we helped to start this church and I continue to be amazed and ever so grateful for the blessings involved, the people, the presence, the relationships.

The relationships.....The older I get, the more I learn that relationship is completely what God is all about. The more I learn, the more I see that the symbolism of "church" has gotten so wrapped up in rules, guidelines, steps, classes, structure, and format.....that the heart core and reasoning for church has been side stepped and forgotten. I often find myself picturing God shaking His head and saying, 'No that is not how it should be. Please just listen.'

My Disclaimers:
No my church is not perfect. None are because people are people....completely fail able.
Other churches are great too. Different churches fit different kinds of people.
There is a time and place for structure...as long as people listen to God's guidance.

With that being said, I LOVE my church. As we seek God's truth from the bible, we also seek His character, grace, and mercy. Continually we strive to have relationship as the main foundation and for people to find comfort and healing in a non-condemning environment.

Why am I bringing all of this up? Simply because last week I learned fresh that the ripple effects of that sort of environment effects the children too.

I have always encouraged my teachers to focus on relationship. I have always said that there is comfort in having a lesson plan and great things can be accomplished and learned with the structure of a lesson plan....but never be so focused on a check list that the children are forgotten. If things turn upside down in class and nothing gets "taught" but the children go home feeling more secure and confident...then GREAT things happened in class.

Ah...but fighting the security of a check list can be difficult at times. In my last post I talked about being empty for a long time and losing focus. After coming back from that retreat, I felt all of that fall away and when I taught the next day at church I felt a renewed sense of purpose in relationship instead of check lists. Boy am I grateful.

I had 2 new students in class, a brother and sister, ages 6 and 8. The little girl was scared to come into class and hugged her daddy for a long time before relenting to step into the unknown. Instead of opening the class time with the usual structure, I chose to break the class into small groups, I took one group and my teaching partner took the other. We discussed the happenings of the week, favorite foods, and how best to eat chocolate (yes I had the girls group). Then the subject of good things and bad things rolled around and the girls began to share with one another what was on their mind. You know what? Even a 1st grader can offer deep compassion in a relationship. They prayed and hugged each other ......without my prompting.

It was at this point that the little 6 year old really opened up. In words that were much too old for her years she took a deep breath and shared this, "Ok I want to share something with you all and it is bad. I mean really bad and sad. Okay, my parents are getting a divorce and....."
And on she went explaining what was on her heart. When she was finished sharing, the others in the group offered their young encouragement, hugs, and prayers. She looked happier and lighter when it was all said and done.

I was so touched and amazed. Over and over it hit me that if I had kept with my check list, she never would have had opportunity to share her heart and find relationships in new surroundings. The other children would have not had opportunity to reach out from themselves and have compassion in action for another.

By the time we pulled the groups back together, there wasn't much time for a lesson, but I think the real lesson had truly already been taught.

Yesterday in church they were visiting again. I saw that little girl smiling and talking with her new friends. She ran up to me and shared what a great day she was having and how glad she was to be back.

Again I felt in awe at the importance of relationship.........the real focus.

(David at Authorblog honored this post with a mention on his post of the day column.)

It Is That Time Of Year....

As I have said before in times past, this can be a pretty stressful time for me. As glorious as this season is, people can sure get ruffled the wrong way if they are not careful. I really am having fun though. As we wrap up these next couple of weeks of school, I have cool things in the works that will change things up.

Hmmm....."Change it up"...... That line always brings to my mind a scene from D2 Mighty Ducks where the teacher, Michele MacKay, is filling in as coach. She says to the team, "We look tired. We need to rearrange people."
A team player says, "Say Change it Up....no, yell it."
Michele yells, "Change It Up!", like nobody's business and everything and everyone miraculously falls into place with relief.

Falling into place.....along with school, working up the next batch of Sunday school lessons, and my other regular stuff; I am crafting gifts for a long list of treasured people. It is too much fun.

One of the best things though that I really get a kick out of before Christmas morning is planning a birthday....two birthdays as a matter of fact. Seven days before Christmas is a very special time for me because it is my mom's birthday.......and mine. Mother and daughter on the same day. No, it wasn't planned. It just happened that way. And if that wasn't cool enough, her father, my grandfather, also shared that exact same date of birth. When I was little, I remember we would always have a giant chocolate sheet cake with a fish for Grandpa, a rose for my mom, and a ballerina for me. As a child, I always thought I was cursed with a mom that had special ESP. I just knew she could read my mind and find things out BECAUSE we had the same birthday. Of course, now that I am the mom, I know the smarts comes from the fact that I can say, "Honey I been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt before it was even a nano thought in your mind."

So, I am planning our birthday date. Now that my husband is retired from active duty and we live back in our home stomping grounds, Mom and I spend the day together doing whatever we want. We eat and shop and giggle the day away. Every year, I have fun planning some new surprise for my mom that will beam a shinning example of how special she is to me. This year is no exception. I have special reservations made and everything. I am so excited. She is going to flip. I called that place over on......

Well now, I can't say, because that would ruin the surprise. Mom stops by this blog every now and again to visit. So, I will just have to keep it a secret.
Right about now, as she is reading this, she is mumbling something about me being a little (@#*) and then giggling about the apple not falling far from the tree.
See, along with our special day and my special planning, her special job is to try and trick me into divulging precious information that would give the secret away.

I'll just have to tell you about it AFTER it happens.

I love you Mom.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You.....

I have to laugh at myself. You know, it is mentally healthy to be able to laugh at one's self. I do it often. But why now? The answer to that question would be because of the see-saw thought process going on in my head like kids on the playground structure that won't stop.

See, I created a project/program/field (whatever you want to call it) a while back. Anyone who knows me, can vouch for the fact that I get my hands wrapped up in all kinds of stuff....even when it is not my responsibility. This was one of those times. I saw a situation and saw that it needed to be taken care of....so I created. I made guidelines and recruited. I shaped and researched. Then I delegated the whole basket to someone else as God was talking to me about those boundaries that get so fuzzy for me.

Recently though, I noticed that those guidelines and expectations I created (said in a scoffing tone directed at myself) have gotten a little askew. I find myself wondering if I should do anything about it. (Now wait a minute.....give me a break and let me finish explaining before you roll on the floor in laughter and point your finger in mock at the cyber image of me on your screen.)

I am torn because on the one hand, those guidelines were created with a huge purpose in peoples' safety. On the other hand, if the current head person wants to change things, that is their right and prerogative. But what if they either didn't realize the purpose of that guideline or aren't aware that all are not following it? Isn't that what administrator heads and friends do?.....help each other out? What is at the root of my motive?.....helpfulness or control? Ack! Not that word! I work so hard to run and hide in denial of that word!

Is it wrong to say anything or not say anything? If it doesn't get fixed, is it really a big deal? And if it is a big deal...to who or whom is it a big deal?.....the program or me.

See, I laugh and I drive myself crazy.......

Admitting it is at least a step.

Always For The Children....

This past Sunday was a new experience for me....a freedom which I had forgotten. Let me see if I can explain without tripping all over myself with well intentioned thoughts......

For the past 18 years, I have volunteered my time in varying degrees of childrens ministry. I've done everything a volunteer can do in the different classes that cater to children from birth to 12 years old. I've done story telling to craft preparation, diaper changing to salvation leading, parent counseling to playdough making. I could go on for pages, but I won't bore with a long list. Just know that I have learned over the years to become pretty versitile. As we branched off from our home church in September of 2001 to start a new church south of the metro area, I had stepped away from being a department administrator over the kindergarten classroom (it was a really big church). With no direction in mind but the adventure that lay ahead, I eagerly sought out what God would have me to do next. That question was soon answered with this thought....we needed a childrens ministry department in our new church. With a gleam in their eyes and complete support, PJ and Co. gave me full reign to create...inspire....minister...and bless.

To be the "buck stops here" person has been such a learning experience for me. Over the past six years I have trained some 60 teachers in varying degrees of function. The first 4 years, my office was in my dinning room. There were shelves and cabinets of supplies, props, and resources everywhere we turned. Sometimes help was scarce and sometimes eager hands were falling everywhere to lift me up and offer encouragement. After all of this time, I think I am finally starting to learn a glimmer of what it means to delegate responsibility. No, I don't have it all figured out, but I am learning. It's by me letting go and giving the freedom to someone else to be responsible that they can step into their giftings, talents, and callings.

A while back, I sat down with PJ and Co. and expressed confusion and fatigue on my behalf. I had been running around trying to be all things by filling in gaps. My thoughts were things like, "How could I know what a classroom needs if I am never in there to see?" or "How could I expect other to teach with eagerness and joy if I don't do it myself?" and "As a leader I should be leading by example, working just as hard as those around me." I was wearing myself out teaching and overseeing 4 classrooms all at the same time.
Wisely, PJ and Co. said, "Sweets you have to take care of yourself. You must duplicate yourself out of a job. We don't want you to burn out. No wonder you are so tired. You can't inspire and seek future ideas if you are running around in circles. We want you to be around for a long time so let's develop a new game plan for you."
You know, in retrospect, I might have even given that same advice to someone else if I were sitting on the cousel side of things. Why are the simplest things always the hardest for me to see?

So, I now have a wonderful person that makes sure the teachers have all of the special supplies they want each week and I am training the last set of teachers to replace me on the classroom schedules. There is a person that makes the reminder phone calls for me, one that brings snacks every week for the kids, and another that sets up the prize tables. That brings me to my beginning statement.....This past Sunday was a new experience for me....a freedom which I had forgotten. I now have a wonderful woman that has come along side me to alternate administration on Sundays so that I can sit in the service. This past Sunday I did just that for the first time in years. I parked in the front of the building (no supplies to unload), walked straight into the sanctuary (no classes to check on), and participated without counting childrens heads or watching the clock for the classroom release time.

It was new and freeing for me.....not that I regret or grudgingly do anything that I do. Simply, I am grateful for the help around me for many hands DO make light work.

My House....

Nothing amazing to write or read here today. Just wanted to take a minute and sit with my thoughts online. Sitting here makes me get out of auto-mode and look beyond my "to do list".
I feel like August is getting out of control and it really doesn't start until tomorrow. I am not complaining in the least. I am just not ready to start thinking about school along with all of our other activities slated.

This week holds adventures galore for me......
-the girls are having 2 sleepovers
-providing care for various friends' young children
-youth car wash
-turn and burn to the beach
-teaching over the weekend
-then all of the usual household and office admin. responsibilities

I love it all. Seeing the beach will be great and cause a smile and big sigh to envelop me.

After that things go into high gear with.....
-school planning
-various meetings
-TIP training
-Hood-2-Coast
-painting (no it is not mandatory for me to paint the rest of the house. It is just something that will help me feel orderly)
-bridal shower
-wedding
-baby shower

I do want to make mention that I had a great day on Sunday. My mom and I put together a huge dinner to celebrate my dad. (After being laid off the last several months, he was able to get hired on at a small airline at the airport. Praise God! What a relief that is.) So, I made lumpia while my mom fired up the grill for a combination of bbq wings and bratwurst.
It was so great to sit and visit and laugh with my family. My mom and cousin "lani-girl" always make tears roll down my face as my sides hurt from laughing so hard.

Well how about that.....I didn't think I had anything worth writing today. The above words won't really mean anything to anyone else, but I can now use this to look back and smile as I say, "oh yes I remember that day. That was the day I sat down at the computer frustrated and weighed down but finished with a smile of fond memories and encouragement."

Thank you God for always being an encourager.